Highly In need for advice, What should I do?

Best summary I can do with limited characters

I started college 5 weeks ago and met this girl whom I gained feelings for, long story short I told her I liked her, and she told me she Liked me but was dealing with her break up from her Ex, inwhich I told her I understood... Then we started cuddling and doing everything together... I found out she had still gotten back together with her Ex because she “has known him since they were 6” and she would still like to be my bestfriend, but said they’re might be a future for us if I get to know her better...

She also doesn’t like some of the dumb stuff I do and it makes her anxious... I told her I could grow up and adapt for her...

Problems:
1. Why date a guy who is 4 hours away in which you literally know you dont have a future with...

2. Why say you like me if your actions prove otherwise

3. Why give me hope for the future by being your friend... then telling me maybe in the future...

Question

Should I stick around and be her friend and see what happens, or Leave and get over it (if so how do I get over it)?

I honestly liked this girl, I thought she was the one and I was so happy with her prior we did everything together... she was perfect

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Leave and get over her, i feel like she's just using you to cuddle and etc when her boyfriend isn't around. No one is perfect, and peoples true colors show when you get to know them better.

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    • I agree 100%

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    • She's making excuses to have you stick around, like i'm sure your a smart boy, how do you not see this?

    • I don’t know.. I guess I wanted to believe that I wasn’t used

What Guys Said 2

  • First of all this is common for people starting college. They usually want to cling to what is familiar back 'home' and that is why she went back to her ex. But eventually most of the people will break up and date someone in college with them. This is the 1st thing you have going for you.

    You have been physical with her and obviously she feels a strong connection to you. She wants to be your best friend because she is emotionally connected to you. More points for you.

    Now you don't want to just be friends. I mean you might play the role for a few months, but really you want to date her. Therefore don't settle for the role of a friend, take a chance.

    My advice would be to talk to her and tell her you really like her in a romantic way. Reminder her you two were good at intimacy and open up to your feelings emotionally and show her you are both connected emotionally. Basically tell her you want to be with her and she needs to get over the old guy. Let her know it is her decision, but you can't just settle for being her friend. If she loves the other guy, that is her decision but you will have to move on.

    Once you lay it down, let her know she needs to come find you if she picks you. Don't linger around her, don't be a friend. She will be confused, she will struggle. But you need to be away so that she misses you and comes to the right decision. She will likely come find you and then she is your girl. If for some reason she doesn't then you will be able to move onto the next girl. I repeat, do not settle for just being friends while she dates someone else because that is the worst case for you.

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    • Her reasoning for not dating me at this time is, I make her too anxious because of

      when I get drunk:
      I’ve only ever been drunk twice in my life and it was in her room, and I’m not a mean drunk I’m a funny everywhere drunk that can get obnoxious at times, I told her I’d stop and I did...

      I skid out in the parking garage:
      Sure this is immature but, guess what it’s really easy to fix just don’t be stupid with my truck...

      I yell out at people:
      Like a couple of people across the street where jokingly yelling something and I yelled it back

      She says she likes me, but I make her to anxious... Like I then told her I was willing to change for her... all i was doing was attempting to have fun... Hell I’m only 18...

  • Leave, cause you're either gonna be friendzoned first or rebound and then friendzoned.

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