I’m being ghosted again, what is wrong with me?

Back story: I would say I’m a conventionally attractive girl - at least on the surface. I get approached by guys quite often.

However I haven’t been on a date in years. I wouldn’t say my standard is extremely high - sure I may be picky but I’ve given a few guys the chance. Opened up, talked to them. But somehow all of them always ended up talking to me less, replying slower, and ultimately just disappearing from my life. Even before we even went out.

It’s taking a toll on my self esteem, and I’m starting to wonder if I have an issue.

Anyway, back to this one guy that I’ve been talking to:

I work at a gym and there’s this regular whom I’ve gotten along quite well. He also asked for my Facebook. Subsequently I notice (according to my colleagues too) that he always and only comes around on the days I work. When he’s here he talks to me a lot too. Once he even waited for me to end my shift just so we could hang around, to just sit down and talk.

I figured he was interested in me.

The thing is - sometimes he takes a period of time before replying, and at times he doesn’t reply at all.
What makes it worse is that he has started a new second job (and along with his current job) so according to him he is very busy - such that he doesn’t come over anymore.

I understand that some people are just not much of a texter but since he couldn’t make it to see me, he should make an effort at least online if he is interested. I was skeptical though - is he really that busy to even spare an hour or two in the gym?

Today I saw from his Facebook that he is in another gym. Okay yeah that gym is somewhere nearer to where he stays but.. enough of making excuses for him.

What’s wrong with me?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • people always think it's gotta be something that's "wrong" with them. keep in mind it normally takes a lot of work to find that one special person, most struggle their whole life to find and often fail cause they lose hope and give up. doesn't mean there is anything you can change to make it better, just gotta keep trying if you wanna succeed. just looking at the number of divorces and break ups that go in a years time should be proof enough it's no easy task.

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    • I thought this one guy was special though. And after being ghosted so many times I’m so conscious and I’ve made sure I don’t say anything wrong, or thay I don’t play games and so on.
      At this point of time I really cannot think of what else could have went wrong. But thanks anyway. :)

    • maybe he just wasn't feeling it. that spark that they talk about, it fizzled before it ignited for him. that happens in a world where there's lots of competition. did you ever ask him what he really honestly looks for in a woman, to know for a fact that you were even right for him. maybe he felt like he wasn't right for you for some reason. could've been putting on an act of his own to start with, that he knew he couldn't keep up to make you stay happy.

  • Maybe he just doesn't find you interesting. Sometimes I'll be talking to a girl and I just won't know what to say, and I don't feel the urge to continue chatting. Sort of fizzles out.

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    • Yeah I figured that out too. However, on the times when we do talk I realize he seems pretty interested. Compliments me, flirts with me and all. - that is, until he stops replying. I wish he would just stop talking to me altogether instead of bringing my hopes up and then disappearing again.

    • He can't read your mind, you know.

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What Guys Said 8

  • What's wrong with you?
    Typical girl expecting 100% effort from men without making any effort to even show interest.
    You know that without progress people lose interest..

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    • I wish it was the case, but I do make effort, and it’s pretyy clear I’m interested too. On the times he doesn’t reply I do also make an effort to start a conversation.

    • Just because you think it's clear doesn't mean it is for him. You may not understand this, but the difference in the behaviour of a girl that wants to fuck you and one that is just polite and wants to be your friend isn't big.

  • Lol nothing is wrong seems like it's just wrong guy wrong time, he is getting busy with another job and he decided to go ti a gym thats closer to his house since all he can fo on his free time i also habe a busy schedule n i can't even go on dates n if i had potential crush im not gonna persue her because it's just wasting her time & he probably knows your schedule so it won't work, ur not being ghosted he never blocked you

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  • At first, physically you where appealing to him, After conversing, he determined no compatibility and went about his business.
    You are going to get nibbles like this, it is common.

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  • Well he's a person not a toy, he has a life he has to survive and do what's best for him this also means he will do what he wants and needs to do

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  • He’s not interested sorry to break it to you. As far as what’s wrong with you I can’t say because I don’t know you

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    • It’s alrigt, I kind of suspected that too. What I’m confused is , though, on the times we do talk he seems pretty interested - gives me compliments and flirts with me. Until he stops replying of course.

    • He probably felt you two didn’t click when he sat down and got the chance to talk to you

  • Have u asked him if he's interested in you as a person and not just a hookup?

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  • You're panicking too much.

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    • I wish I am but he used to come to the gym every other day, and talks to me everyday. Now I haven’t heard or seen him in weeks.

    • You have him on Facebook. Tell him that you'd like to see him.

  • Hi wanna chat

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