Is it okay to ask my 'casual bf' if he is seeing anyone else?

The thing is complicated, we agreed to be exclusive but also understand it's short term, just that we haven't talked about when to end it (just assume when one of us graduates)

Now there is a decreasing in communication , he doesn't tell things about himself to me any more , he gives short responses when I m trying to talk with him, and I try to talk with him once per days. I feel he is talking to someone else under our 'contract' of being exclusive ; so I plan to ask him if he is seeing anyone , also I want to tell him 'I want to know asap if you like someone else, and we can cope with it accordingly'. Does it sound like a threatening? Is there a better way to convey this idea?
Updates:
We go out to do stuff once/twice per week , have sex once/twice per week. He used to text a lot but not any more.

To me 'casual bf' means I want to see if it's worth it to do a long distance with him.
To him it might mean to enjoy the benefits of having a girlfriend till someone else comes along

All I want is to be informed when that happens , not being strung along.
I asked him if he is seeing someone else , he said he can't like multiple girls at a time.

I then proceeded to ask this communication issue, he said he is a quiet person and dont like to text unless being asked questions

I choose to trust him on this , and also explained I like it more if he tells me a little more about his life , just need to see if gets better

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Most Helpful Guys

  • If you will not stay together long term, why agree to be exclusive for a limited time? That just seems to be a formula for having problems.

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    • Spot on. Exclusivity is for anything that's 24 months or longer, but looking into the longer part rather than just to kill time while someone else comes along

  • While you're with Mr. Rightnow the real Mr. Right will walk by and carry on

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm sorry in advance because this may sting a bit. The "contract" is over. He focused more on the casual part while you focused on the exclusive part. A common problem among people in friends with benefits relationships. You are on the way out and he has found someone new or just lost interest in you. You can try to ask him about it but I doubt you'll get any satisfactory answer.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 11

  • Yeah totally, you should be aware of how much risk you are exposing yourself to. He doesn't have to give details about the women but he should be able to tell you how many there are.

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  • you have every right if ment be your boyfriend, he going be either your boyfriend or a player,

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    • just ask him what you just asked, honest & to point know where stand

  • To be honest, why would your 'casual bf' be open to you even if he did find someone that's going to love him for real.

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    • He isn't willing to make us official , but he wants to be exclusive

  • Yes it's ok to ask, but it's how you do it.

    What exactly do you want? Are you developing feelings and don't want to be hurt (if so, you need to come clean NOW, the longer this goes on the worse it will be for you)? Or are you just wondering what's changed? Or, are you worried about STI's? Whatever it is, yes ask him, and be direct. And don't just ask "are you seeing someone else", explain why you are asking this. I think I was in this exact situation, I noticed a change like this with her, only she wouldn't communicate with me or tell me anything at all! In other words, bottom line, total honesty and complete communication with him right now. Not just partly.

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  • Just ask him, seems the time is right

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    • Update: You seem like a really good girlfriend, but its starting to look like he doesn't see a future for you two after college, like you said about both of you. However it also looks like you're starting to have 2nd thoughts about it, maybe you should contemplate a little about how you feel and what you actually want in the future for the two of you. Otherwise why are you so afraid to let go, if its a time framed thing anyway. Might it be you regard the two of you as a couple while he doesn't, or at least considerably less?

  • Of course it is. I sure would like to know

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  • Flip a coin heads up ask tails u dont

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  • Gotta spice up the conversation

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  • I wouldn't

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  • Sure you can ask, you may not like the answer

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  • This is a train wreck. End it before you feelings grow.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Define casual boyfriend please.
    If you're just sleeping together and talking a bit, he's a fuck buddy.
    A boyfriend is when one of you propose the other to be together officially so there should be loyalty.
    .
    Now i think he's into someone else that's why he's distant with you.
    You can ask.

    Also if you're telling is not long term, you're not official then why are you with him? Just for sex?
    You're wasting time girl

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  • I asked the dude I was seeing and he lied. Lied lied lied.

    He had no reason to lie. I was t his girlfriend. And like the guys said below you have the right to know to be safe etc

    But what’s the point if the dudes just going to lie?

    Be careful doll

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  • Casual boyfriend... Is that code for "friends with benefits" or something?

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    • Its 'we are exclusive but I dont see a future with you so I m keeping talking to other girls and dump you when the other relationship gets serious '

    • Then I think him pretty much disconnecting from you is enough said. I'd just end it and be done. Why worry about who else he's talking to?

    • I feel like being killed slowly every day, and I just want some kind of closure

  • Im currently in a similar not exclusive relationship thing. We used to text everyday and after a while it did kind of calm down. I am kind of a quiet shy person so and dont really know how to start a conversation or continue it unless im fully engaged or im being asked questions. Maybe when you guys go out try something cometely different that youve never done before and really pushes you both outside your comfort zone. Dont do anything that you would normay do. Maybe visit a completely different part of town if you can anf explore it together

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  • No. If you are "casual" and open to others then it's none of your business.

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  • Casual bf?

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  • Casual boyfriend... Interesting

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  • You don't want to get STD.

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