ANYONE WHO HAS CHEATED ON THEIR BF/GF: If you were given a 2nd chance, did you stay faithful to that person for the rest of relationship?

I was “enlightened” at the feedback I got after recently asking if it was a good idea to give a cheating boyfriend a second chance. I realized that the majority of the responses I received were from people who had been cheated on, so it made me curious about the mindset of the person who actually did the cheating. Thanks for your honest answers and feedback.

Limiting this to dating situations - not marriage. That's a whole different story!
  • Yes, I stayed faithful
    Vote A
  • No, I cheated again
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • The root issue that lead to it had to be dealt with but the one time I did cheat there was no reconciling it before the cheating happened (and in fact is more or less why it happened at all).

    That being said if I had been able to get any kind of emotional support or love from her then it wouldn't have happened in the first place. I don't cheat on impulse or just for the sex, when it happened it was because I had been isolated from all my friends and family by my ex wife, she was hitting me and I felt cornered and like I had nowhere to go, a friend was a little more physically comforting than she should have been as she learned what had been going on and that little bit of affection was what it took for me to feel supported enough to get out of the relationship.

    Again though if the root issues had been tackled then I couldn't have seen it happening again, I'm a pretty loyal person so it really takes a lot to push me to that point.

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    • Thanks for being so open -- it helps me understand that things are rarely "black or white"

    • I try to be open and honest, I don't like feeling like I'm tricking or lying to people. Plus I find radical honesty has helped me far more than being more closed about things like this. My stories have helped people a few times so I'm glad to share them. I'm hard to embarrass :P

      Not a problem, I'm glad it gave you some more understanding. All that being said though I do know guys who cheat just because they can. Jordan Peterson does a bit of a piece on it, I don't agree with all his views but this one makes sense to me. He talks about how every time you make a decision like that, the decision you made becomes more likely for you to repeat in the future. So cheating once isn't a huge deal but a pattern of cheating would mean it is established as their choice whenever that type of stress happens. Its a much harder pattern to break once it gets to that point. You could replace cheating with things like stealing, lying etc and it would be the same.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I’ve never cheated in the first place but I chose the second option. If they cheat once, they’ll do it again. You shouldn’t give them another chance

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