When somebody sounds nice in an e-mail - how can you be sure its correct and they aren't putting a front?

So I dated a guy for several months and we broke up.

And then I e-mailed him a couple times and sent him a few texts and then he said he would be happy to have me in his life again but there were some changes that he wanted in how I dealt with him

For example - he wanted me to make a bigger effort to get to know him and he wanted me to be less focused on his looks

I said some really angry things during those days where he was ignoring me and he shrugged it off and said he wasn't angry or annoyed but i wonder if he is just hiding his anger cause he knows I won't want him back if he is angry at me.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • If you like him... will it hurt if you give it a chance? May be don't ponder what he wrote in an email. See him, speak to him face to face. Old fashioned communication is still the best way to know someone.

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  • Tbh, I have a hard time trusting anyone. I go by actions. Was he fake in the past? Honestly, from what you've written, I can see where he's coming from. If he wants you to try to understand him without getting pissed all the time, he's more than likely willing to do the same. I've been down that one way street before, so I can relate. Don't be so defensive if he's just trying to tell you how he feels and what he wants. He's already shown he doesn't.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You can't.

    You have to know a person in real life, and see how they are in different real life settings and situations before you see their true character

    Certain situations and circumstances provoke different emotions in a person. But it's not always possible to notice that just by chatting online. In person, you can tell by a persons facial expressions and mannerisms how they're feelings. They don't necessarily need to say anything to determine if they're angry or not. You can't see that just be chatting online

    No one is nice all the time. We all have a good and bad side to our personality. And most people only show their good side online.. to people they're showing a romantic interest in.

    But only time and different real life situations/
    circumstances and environments reveal who a person is

    It takes time to know a person in real life, but it's almost impossible to know who a person is online , because it's rare people meet up in person. Or when they do, they're disappointed because they aren't the person they imagined them to be.

    When people chat online, they build an image of what that person is like. But it's just an illusion they created themselves , built on the persons online persona It's not necessarily a fake persona. It's just that you can't really know what they're like just by online communication

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 19

  • Everybody is putting on a front to some extent. All relationships are based on some form of manipulation, which is not bad. The fact that he is talking through things with you and stating his intentions and expectations means he is being genuine.

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  • You can't just like he can't do that with you!

    Majority of humans put on a front no matter the arena, people even put up more and bigger fronts online.

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  • Call him and talk over the phone. Also, why won't you take him back if he's angry with you? Wouldn't you be? It's a natural reaction. If you don't want him to ever be angry then just let him go.

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  • Look, if he is asking you to take more effort to get to know him, I think you should first decide whether he is worth that effort or not... That is halfway to the answer...

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  • You cannot judge a person through a electronic device , meet and talkover it... Sometimes the anger is not shown for your own good , understanding matters

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  • You can't. You don't know someone till you see how he or she reacts in a wide variety of circumstances.

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  • That is why texting, email etc etc is a fail. Anyone can lie and get away with it that way.

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    • I am pretty sure in formal situations, such as applying for a job it may be neccessary

  • Very simple. DO NOT trust a conversation on email or text. NEVVVVVVER !!!

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  • It's impossible to tell if someone is trying to fool you

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  • Maybe he's just a really patient person, and nice enough to know when to forgive

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  • Just straight up ask him, you won’t know it unless you try

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  • Meet him at a coffee shop.

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  • That's the beauty of using email

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  • You can't, thats not how e-mail works

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  • He should become Chad not cuck

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  • He is fooling you

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  • Talk over phone and try finding ur answers

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  • its all a put on act

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  • You can't be.

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What Girls Said 6

  • @jennifer_bloom some people are so good as to putting a front when you're in front of them. Go with your gut instinct. A face to face conversation so you can read body language, facial reactions and tone of voice may yield you better results then email. One thing I know is that you cannot put emotions to emails. It happens all the time with me at work because I'm very direct and it comes across as bitchy.

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  • There Is no way to tell..
    But if u call him
    Or webcam him
    Or meet him face to face u can be sure then

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  • Ok first of all if you two broke up and you're the first one to initiate contact, he's not interested. he just wants someone here until he meets someone better. just being honest

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  • You can’t

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  • You can't

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  • You can’t

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