How to avoid attracting men/women who are players?

Long story short, the Teacher's Assistant of my sociology class initiated flirting with me for the last few weeks (gave me a disproportionate amount of attention/compliments, sat next to me every day and I tested this by changing seats, would pat me on the shoulder or "brush lint" off my clothes all the time while never touching any other female or male student in the class, sit close and look really deeply into my eyes). The last day of class., I struck up the nerve to ask him out at lunch, his girlfriend (who he conveniently never mentioned!) walked up, kissed him and glared at me. Classmates were there to see the lovely fiasco. He then hugged every student goodbye, including me, and tried to act like nothing had happened between us, which infuriated me.

Honestly, it's not the person I'm upset about, but the fact that I feel manipulated, gaslighted and cast aside.

How do you deal with this kind of humiliation?

And how do you avoid attracting assholes who give you all the signs they like you, but don't mention they're in relationships?


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What Guys Said 3

  • If he hot and cold, says he is busy, dont show you off to his friends, consistent with hanging out and makes harfly any excuses, doesn't oush you away and then bring you back, none if that. If you are confused about his behaviour then you automatically know.

  • Be observant and investigate if possible. I don't just approach a girl when I like her, I learn a bit before initiating, cause she may be in a relationship already. Same can apply in the reverse I guess. If you're interested in a guy, investigate the guy before you approach. (If you're looking for a hook up help, I can't help you. I don't subscribe to this trend. Sorry.)

    In short: Don't move to quickly, or you risk embarrassing moments. Risk them only when you know you've eliminated a few factors. Cause its impossible to judge someone you don't know. If you do know them, even a little, then you can choose to judge them a little.

  • You should have resisted the temptation of the dark side of the force :)


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