Why would it be awkward if my boyfriend goes now?

My boyfriend and i have been together for about 4 months. When i met him he was kind of seeing someone but trying to be with her wasn’t working.. he left her... pursued me... and we’ve been together ever since. In the beginning of our relationship i had a problem with this particular girl because they were telling each other they missed one another. I eventually talked to him about that/got over it moved on and here we are.
I work with a mutual friend of hers and she asked me “are you and your boyfriend going to her housewarming?” And i responded “no why would we go?” And she said “well i assumed you were tagging along with your boyfriend because he asked me was i going because he said he was going too” So apparently My boyfriend is going but he hasn’t mentioned it to me nor has he asked me would i like to go. So, i brought it up to him and his response was “well she verbally invited me.
I asked her the details because she didn’t give me a proper invitation he told me he asked her when she was having it and what day etc... I’m not staying but i will go” and then he said “well now it’ll be awkward if i go now”

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Most Helpful Guys

  • he's lying to you he wouldn't have mentioned it if you hadn't brought it up...
    sounds like he's got an ulterior motive to going there and feels like he doesn't want you around to ruin it for him...

    I would personally question his loyalty and commitment towards his relationship with you tbh

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    • True. Bet you he was planning on staying out REAL late

  • He isn't only not over her, he wants her. Come on guys let the world know thst we all even girl sometimes can think about leaving many opportunities open and available for immediate action. It is not like he wanted her once but now he is yours, his short thing with the two balls wants her and you and anybody else it can find and like

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    • How can he want her when he dropped her to pursue me

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    • And i got to say that this sounds like it's what you hope. We often hope for mostly obvious things to stay and be as we would wish to... but 90% it's just wishes that won't be fullfilled...

    • Even if that is true, I think you deserve more than him not wanting to want her.

      Like you deserve to be wanted for who you are on your own, not because you are a slightly better option than her and can help him forget her. You know what I mean?

      be sure he wants you... not just a distraction...

Most Helpful Girl

  • blegh I dont like the situation at all

    Tbh I don't know who he likes more. You or her. Seems like a messy situation just due to the way it started. Are you and him serious? Like has he told you he loves you?

    If not he might b trying to keep his options open/ is curious about what he lost...

    sigh.

    Dont like it really

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    • He didn’t lose her he gave her up

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    • ah ok

      then try to ask him... why didn't he tell u about it? not in an accusatory manner. tell him u just want to understand why he felt the need not to mention it to u?

    • thanks for MHO. wow only noticed it now lol :D

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 37

  • Visiting a girls party behind your back, without telling you.
    A girl he is/was attracted to.
    Your relationship is a lost cause. I would end it now before it starts hurting

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    • I hate to say it but i kinda agree with him

    • @MLGbreezy There is nothing to disagree. The issue is not that he goes to the party, the issue is that he didn't tell his girlfriend.
      Only a man with bad intentions does something like that

  • It sounds to me like he's got his mind set on moving on. What he left behind now looks fantastic to him, he misses it, he wants it back. He'll leave you to get it. And then he'll remember why he split with her in the first place. And guess what will happen then. He'll start calling on you again. When he does, ignore him. Time for you to cut ties and fly free.

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  • You have to question why he is even contemplating meeting someone he said himself, wasn't working.
    Either the sex was great or you are a disposable to him.
    Im not sure my reasoning is good but why would he not communicate to you directly that he was going to the housewarming.

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  • It's only going to be awkward because 1 he's probably hiding something from you and 2 he won't be able to be yourself now that you will be there. Which is a shame but if you got with him when he was with somebody that could be his move whether it's the old somebody or knew somebody he could be looking to make another exit or make it be awkward because of how she's going to treat both of y'all at her house warming

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  • The bottom line is, you are way out of his league. I don’t know why you’re even messing around with him, he doesn’t deserve to even be in your presence. Find a way to cut him loose - completely. Cut all ties. Watch what happens once you’re free to just be single and be yourself. Forget about him.

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  • I believe that he is building constructs in his mind. He put himself in a position where he needs to prove how man he is, and he is trying to throw a ball to you and his ex so that you decide what he needs to do. So basically if you say that it is ok for him to go he will go, and if you say that it is not for him to go he will not go.

    Ket me ask you something. Who initiate most of the things in your relationship? Your boyfriend or you?

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  • Seems like he's just using you so he's not alone while "secretly" still crushing on this other girl

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    • But anytime myself or anyone asks about this girl he swears up and down he isn’t interested anymore

  • He was willing to see you on the side, now he's is willing to see her on the side.

    Seems kinda obvious.

    Cut him loose or see other guys on the side too.

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  • be careful. i don't believe he is entirely over her. that's happened to me & it sucks (found out the girl i was seeing wasn't over her ex). understand that attraction isn't something that you can turn off and maybe you just need to be friends for right now until he figures out what he wants. never hate or go dark.

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  • It would've been more awkward/suspicious if he went without you.

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    • But she didn’t invite me I don't know if she even knows he has a girlfriend

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    • So she has no reason to invite you. On the other hand your boyfriend has no valid reason to go there without at least telling you about it.

    • Unless he does not trust you.

  • Sorry for the late reply but he was ‘kinda’ seeing someone when you met him so it’s not too far fetched if he does it again only this time to you. Beware.

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  • It's tough, I'd say plan to go with him if you can and keep an eye on him. Let the girl know you are there with him. And maybe talk with her and try to get some details

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  • Bottom line is that she needs to get out of the picture and he needs to cut her loose.

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  • If you go with him to his exes housewarming, i feel like it would be awkward.

    Im glad he and his ex are still on good terms, but I'd recommend a little distance.

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  • It would be awkward for him. I bet it will be. I know you've been asking this for a while. What is tje final decision?

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  • 4 months relationship is not a relationship. it's more like... Well... Nothing. You're just close friend in my mind.
    Don't overthink it

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  • Your fault was in the first couple lines you wrote.. The rest of what happened was because you missed the obvious flaw.

    It's like the sign said, 'bridge out ahead! STOP NOW AND TURN BACK!!" and said, "meh, i like this road, im not turning around" ... and now you're wondering what went wrong when you're dead after a 30ft drop.

    You were dating a guy who had a girl already. The fact that he even had time for you shows his character.

    You're still young so ill let you off and won't rip too hard into you. Lol
    Never go for someone who normalises seeing you when he has a partner. This is poor ethics and you will be on the receiving end next.
    EVERY
    SINGLE
    TIME

    I met a beautiful girl 2 weeks ago who told me yesterday that she has a man but still wants to talk. So went from a 10 to a 1. I wish I knew he boyfriend. I would have told him and bought him a drink. I hate 2 faced characters

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  • Sounds like to me he still isn't over her. There are endless possibilities to what his intentions are for going to this party, but what I just listed seems like the most likely

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  • Leave him and find someone else... If you want to avoid such complicated social issues then it's better to find someone who loves you and cannot replace you

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  • He clearly still has feelings for that girl and he's trying to get closer to her.

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  • Uhhh why would he need to go? Sounds like a red flag to me

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  • Dump the bum let them solve the problem or get dragged through the mud feeling like a helpless fool

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  • He doesn't want to make you uncomfortable. This kind of stuff can make people lose trust in their relationship.

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  • Ooooooh he seems to be in a quite uncomfortable situation right now. Be alarmed.

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  • Situation is fishy. I don’t think he was going to tell you anything and was going to go without you

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  • go with him if you can. He needs to let her go, though

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  • Leave

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  • Does he work?

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  • I have no idea. He doesn't seel trustworthy tho.

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  • End it, or you will be hurt.

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    7

What Girls Said 7

  • Your boyfriend does have the right to choose to attend his ex's housewarming.
    However, he should have also informed you first, instead of you having to hear about it from a third party's mouth.
    Which makes me wonder what other things did he not share with you?

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  • Do go to the house warming party, in the most hottest dress possible, and gently hold his hand and walk around. If he asks you why you came just tell him you missed him.
    Make sure you eat all the amazing food they have and have as much fun as you can.
    And then when you leave from the house warming party text your boyfriend.
    " I am leaving from you and that sorry ass for yours that can't treat a woman right "

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  • i don't know, i don't want to be the barrier of bad news, but that all and all isn't a good sign.

    i recommend you talk with him about it, the whole thing seems fishy.

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  • Sorry girl, he still isn't over her and it seems like he's trying to get closer to her whilst distancing himself from you. If I were you, I would leave someone like that because you deserve so much better! :) <3

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  • Gal, he is not honest with you and it seems to me he is still unsure of what he wants. A man who truly loves you will be honest with you and if he is sure of relationship with you, he will bring you along to show you off to everyone. You can have a heart to heart talk with him on how you feel and how he feel towards this relationship.

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    • I feel the same about this scenario

      the guy isn't sure about what he wants.

      is he friends with this girl to need to go to her party?

      even so... he should have mentioned it to you...

      he may be indecisive

      not a good sign at all

  • Like what the other comments mentioned, I think he is still not over her.

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  • It's awkward because you know about it. He wanted to keep it a secret.

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