WHY is 20 too young to be in a committed relationship?

A loved one told me I’m too young to settle etc. that my age (20) is a time to explore etc.

this loved one, on the other hand, didn't bother to meet my boyfriend from the start. The first thing I told them when my boyfriend and I were only friends, was that he didn’t go to college and automatically this person thought that I shouldn’t even hang with them.

A year later, after several times of fun and some arguments and learning how to communicate, my boyfriend and I moved in together.

I looked it it up though and people say it’s too young but I wonder why.

Unlike my other friends who who are in committed relationships, I don’t feel the need to meet other guys because I’m currently dating someone who loves and respects me. He’s makes sacrifices for me and he appreciates me. I’m aware he isn’t perfect, cause again we’ve had our downs but we work on communicating. Sometimes I see this look in his eyes when he looks at me and says he wants to marry me (but I’m making him wait, cause of course I still want to see how we are doing a couple of years from now. I want to be sure this isn’t something that’s gonna die out). I feel like if I drop him, though there might be some sweet and smart guys, nobody’s ever gonna compare to him. He’s someone I want to hold onto. He’s taught me a lot and I love our spontaneous adventures

i know now we are young and still growing, but I’m confident in us. If things end later for whatever reason, fine, I’ll accept it. But for now, I firmly believe in us and can see a future.

My main question is, what are the point of views, questions, or suggestions YOU think someone should consider for someone in place? thank you you for your advice!

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Most Helpful Guys

  • While you can be in a committed relationship at this time, there are a lot of restrictions, commitments, and hassles you have to deal with. Firstly, having a stable income is much more difficult than being married at a later age. Secondly, the two members of the party shouldn't be bounded by one relationship, especially since marriage and parenthood have a huge investment in risk, especially for women. Lastly, in the 20s marriage is extremely costly and doing various other activities at a time where you are at your peak is usually preferable when marriage has a lot of sacrifices and doesn't guarantee that you would be able to have the time to do everything you want before your inevitable demise.

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  • There's some sense in saying 20yrs old is to young to tie yourself down in a relationship. The potential to do and see so many different things is one of the benefits of youth.
    Then you have to realise not everyone is the same.
    Some just don't feel the need to go off and experience the various things life can offer. And that's perfectly fine as well.
    It all boils down to you and what you want, what you yourself are happy with.
    Many would give up all the adventures they could go on to have what you have.
    As long as it feels right, and you're happy. Enjoy what you have.
    You don't have to justify yourself to anyone.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think people have their share of experiences when it comes to dating but it's bad to give an advice to others only based on their personal experience.
    My opinion is that you don't need to experience and explore in order to find the person you're meant to be with , the more u do the more confusing it'll get.
    True it'll help you distinguish between players and genuine guys and shape the expectations of guys and how you wanna be treated better, but it's smarter to just learn from other people's mistakes (who are also those who tell you to experience), than to make those mistakes yourself and then regret.
    So I think you're doing great.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 12

  • Well, I might me a good / bad example of this. I've met the "woman of my life" when I was 19 and she was 17, we've dated for 3 years. I wanted to settle, she wanted to know the world, travel, experience. And she did cause I left her, so that she could do whatever she want. and she did had the "time of her life". I know this cause I started to think about her again when I was about 30, (at the time it was I that was partying, traveling, knowing the world) and searched her on Facebook, she was still single (nice) started texting and really wanted to settle with her. and she still was in to me... But we did mature in a total different way and although we both still had feelings for each other, she was still trapped in a "old me", and I was expecting a "new her"... What I want to say with this is that it really depends only on the experiences you're looking for and not the age you're at the time. All our experiencing did nothing good for both of us. After a lot of heart breakings and failed relationships, even your first love will not be what you would expect... So if you do find your SO at a younger age, just keep it, fight for it and be happy together no matter the age.

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  • A girl don't need to slut around because she settle, in fact many guys don't see sluts as wife material, because they believe that "once a hoe always a hoe".

    tvtropes.org/.../MadonnaWhoreComplex

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  • It's only a problem if you're one of those people who need to sleep around with a lot of people to feel satisfaction in life. Otherwise, if you both can remain committed and work through future goals together as friends and lovers, you're on a fantastic track. Committing that young means many more decades of happiness.
    People half a century ago would be surprised if you hadn't been in a committed relationship before 25.

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  • It's not. Most of my nieces have gotten married around your age. They're doing fine. A couple of my nieces haven't. But one's studying to be a nun, and I suspect the other may be...

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  • It's not for a woman. Infact that may be the best time. For men it's closer to 30.

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  • dont listen to bs even if given by someone lovin you. good intent won't make it more true.

    fucking around for a woman in her 20s is not only fckd up but it gradually takes away any chace of settling down at all for various reasons. This is basically the most important and sometimes only thoughtfull choice a wonan has to make very early cause whatever anyone says noone can have it all, you have to chose between true attachment and love at your age, if not then #expired lottery ticket video by Human on youtube is the other option

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  • My parents were married at 16 so 20 is not to Young for Love 👌

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  • I don't think it is

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  • To each their own

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  • I don't think 20 is to young.

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  • Sometimes it is dependent on person

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  • it depends maturity level of the couple

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What Girls Said 8

  • If you want to marry him then you can go ahead and marry him - I would rather be loved than have a rich guy who can buy me everything I want but doesn't treat me with respect.

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  • i know several high school sweethearts that made it work and several college/non college relationships.

    two points though. non college works IF and only IF, he has a good career path. plumbers dont have to go to college. its a good job. make sure he is dedicated to whatever he does and isn't lazy. acedemics is not the only way to be successful but everyone needs to contibute to society. but you can't make a living doing minimum wage... and you shouldn't need to support him. he is a man and should be self sufficient whatever career he chooses. college also, is not a gaurentee of success. the same applies to you. you need to be able to take care of you too.

    2, because you are young you will not be anything like your are in 10 years as you are today. you will change ideas, physically, goals, and personalities... its part of growing up. if you change together and respect these changes you can succeed. if you expect your partner to be the same, you will likely resent them and you will fail in the relationship.

    so think about the above. if that works for you, go for it. you could be amongst the happy success stories. if the above is not your situation, consider what your relative has to say...

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  • Wait until you cement the right qualities and values before you think of beeing in a relationship. Don't risk unnecessary painful heartbreaks and focus on your life goals instead

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  • I don't believe that 20 is too young to be in a committed relationship whoever said that obviously has problems with committing

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  • Depends on experience. I stayed away from relationships until I was 22. But now that I'm in a relationship, I've realised that there's a lot of exploring to do whilst in a relationship. What do you dream of doing that you can't do with a partner? It's only sex related stuff that would really affect them, and unless you want a threesome or orgi, you can do most of it with them anyway! Often the people that tell you that you're too young to settle, for whatever reason, just dont want you with your partner. Whether they dont trust/like them, or are jealous that you're happy. Plenty of people are still with their high school partner. It can work.

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    • Yes I also have the same opinion, often the ones that say this it's just some sort of jealous for what you have with your SO or simply just don't want you with that particular person for some specific reason...

  • I’m 18 and in a committed relationship. My boyfriend is almost 21.

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  • It's not too young at all, that person is being silly

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  • Don’t listen to her. You’re literally so lucky to find someone who loves so quickly. Lots of women are 40 still looking for “the one” . Fucking around is sooo overrated.

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