A guy I like is not willing to pursue me because of a driving distance of two hours. Bullshit or valid excuse?

We met once and clicked insanely well. At least on my part.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Then he is not WORTH your time , if he will not take a simple 2 hours visit. I have drove for 4 hours once just to meet a girl for the first time , It did not work out but i know that know instead of talking about something and not doing it.

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    • If he felt a connection to? Then would he not want to drive just to see your face even if it was only for a few hours or few mins. I would !!!

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    • But if he would be into hooking up with me, why wouldn't he put more effort into letting me come over?

    • Its likely his in a complex relationship. Maybe even married

  • It's not practical for a relationship, probably, but it is a bit of a hard headed approach.

    I'm guessing he has a lot of options and maybe isn't so invested in you.

    If I like a girl, it don't matter how far away she is. I'm gonna hunt her ;)

    Okay, that sounds pretty creepy...

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    • That's what I'm thinking. Yeah absolutely, if it's meant to be you'll beat all the odds. Sucks to not be reciprocated on this...

    • Plenty more fish in the sea eh!

Most Helpful Girl

  • 2 hours isn't that far/long, i would say if it was 6 or more than I could understand. But look if it's not willing to pursue you over 2 hours then he's obviously not that interested/lazy or didn't click as much as you think. So I would forget it and find someone closer.

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    • This is exactly what I was thinking, 2 hours is not that crazy. Not being worth driving two hours to him makes me feel like shit though.

    • Don't feel like shit, you are worth the drive. Just cause he didn't want to do it doesn't mean another guy won't. Don't worry you will find someone else who really wants to spend the time with you.

    • Thank you for your kind words :) It's just he would have to be like the guy I lost... 🙈

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 41

  • It's still kind of an LDR and onerous to constantly drive that far. Makes the relationship tougher. If a guy has other Options Closer to him, he'll usually choose them.

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  • Valid, considering it's just the first meeting. Long distance relationships are hard enough when the relationship is developed. Why bother start up a relationship with the long distance there already. Plus, when a guy meets a girl from a far city, town, or country, etc. It's mostly understood that's its just a fling or a vacation mode hooking up.

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    • Thanks for your insight. It's likely he just wanted to hook up although we didn't on our first meeting, also he said he was just feeling like meeting up, no expectations or anything. At the end of our date he told me he'd like to get to know me better though. Then, he never texts first, replies are long in between and when I ask why it's apparently not working out for him he states it's the distance.

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    • Did you talk to him since then?

    • I actually deleted our chat conversation to forget about him three weeks back, and promptly one week later, after uploading a hot profile pic, he actually texts me first! Total shocker. So he texts me for some smalltalk and to ask if I'm fine with staying in touch, like he ever cared lmao. Then nothing after that for a week. Since he still didn't propose to meet up, I deleted the chat again. So unless he texts me there's no way for me to get in contact with him, and I know it's not gonna happen... :(

  • It just sounds like he's not that interested I'm afraid. You should cut him off and move on.

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    • So why did he say he'd like to get to know me better?

    • No idea. Often it's better to read someone's actions rather than get stuck on yheir words. People lie, and often don't know what they really want. But as the saying goes - actions speak louder than words.

    • That's what I've been thinking too...

  • Some people are okay with long distance, some people need a close proximity, I think his excuse is reasonable regardless of if it is true or false.

    Either way, do you really want to be with a guy who makes excuses and doesn't text back in a timely manner?

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  • Well, it just depends on the person and what they want. Two hours is a lot and if cuts out getting to see each other all the time and to be spontaneous. Two hours is also workable, you can meet half way and take turns visiting the other. If two hours to more than they want to deal with distance wise, you can't really fault it.

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  • Valid excuse. 4 hours round trip is hella far especially if he’s a student that takes his studies seriously or even a job that he works hard and long hours for.

    If he says it’s too far take his word for it. Pushing him into doing something would be a red flag to him. Just keep in touch with text, Snapchat, etc.

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  • Valid. Petrol (or gas as they call it in the US) is expensive these days. Maybe he just wants someone closer.

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  • Valid. I dated someone that was 1.5 hrs away, which I thought was no big deal at all. However over time, as we got closer and closer, we naturally wanted to see more and more of each other and life just didn't "allow it". It just became harder and harder to "make it happen". This contributed to us breaking up for sure. It wasn't the ONLY reason, but one of them definitely.

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  • So…you pursue him.
    Problem solved.
    Like…why the guy should be the one taking the distance every time? And girl just…be a gril, I guess…
    Equality. This is what it looks like. Sometimes it's on you.
    And maybe, when you show you're willing, he change his mind. And if not, then just after that termination would be an option.

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    • Trust me, I've tried. He wasn't really into making plans at all. Not even me visiting him. What I meant by the title is his excuse of it not working out is the distance according to him.

  • I wouldn't date someone two hours away from me.
    If we clicked I would have tried to stay in touch just for the sake of flirting a bit and chatting from time to time, but not for much more.

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  • Welcome to equality, perhaps you should do the progressive thing and pursue him.. what a novel idea right not making him do all the work? When my wife and I were long distance we split the travel, I would go to her 50% of the time, and she would come to me 50% of the time.. by the way she lived 4 hours away..

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    • What makes you think I haven't been the initiator all along. Cause I have. I obviously asked to visit him too, but he only replied very vaguely and it led nowhere.

    • Ouch ok that sucks

  • If it was a you come here I go there occasion kind of thing I would go for it. But I also drive a lot for work about the same distance so it would also depend on where I was each week. Spending 6 hours in a car after working 8 hours is hard on anybody. To add an additional 2-4 hours. Would be hard.

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  • Well its a good reason. 2 hours everyday is a lot of time just to you say not after the third date ( which ussually happens when you find a girl) if you like him, you must give something to make difficulties easier to take

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    • Yeah he didn't even give me another chance for a second date. I tried to schedule a weekend to come visit him and then it kind of went nowhere...

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    • So you think he doesn't want to hook up? I'm confused.

    • Sorry, but yes

  • That is valid especially if just can't afford all the gas to make those drives and it is not just a guy thing, women are far worse over driving distances. I have been rejected by women for living more than 30 minutes away.

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  • I say bullshit know matter how far you are it would be an honor just for me anyways to drive to them to see them

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    • Do you pay for your own gas? Because it’s like $4 a gallon again.

    • No i dont not right now anyways but the way im saying is if they truly care they will make sure to see and care and visit you i dont drive at all right now but that dont meen i won't walk there or bike there

  • If you are willing to cover the distance on your own and often enough for his needs then he should accept.

    I would do that for the right girl

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    • I've proposed visiting him and he replied very vaguely and it didn't lead to anything

    • If you were the guy and you were attracted to yourself lol... you would do something... anything to help make it happen. I'm sorry but you have your answer. Him not valuing you should help you understand he isn't a person to want.

      by the way... there is a decent chance he has a girlfriend

  • It is a valid reason. Distance can create doubt and jealousy which is harmful. Ot may aldo be due to past experiences getting hurt in long distance relationships.

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    • But if you think that person in front of you is amazing, you won't even consider all these what ifs...

  • It takes time and money to maintain an ongoing relationship with someone.

    He merely decided that he believes he can find another girl that doesn't require so much time.

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    • Would've been nice to be wanted by the one I want at least once smh... Good to know I'm that replaceable...

    • All women are replaceable.

    • no, they are not.

      some people actually invest in long distances because they feel others are not replaceable. just letting u know, mr. wise guy.

  • If he doesn't want a relationship then it's not up to you. He can turn you down for any reason he wants.

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  • Seems like a common excuse. Women have used it on me many times when using dating apps.

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What Girls Said 7

  • He might have other options that are closer. Maybe he doesn't want to do long distance.

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  • In my opinion, long distance is hard and it takes real commitment. Based off meeting each other once it would be worth meeting a couple of times after before he even knows if its a commitment he wants to bother with. There's no saying he shouldn't give it a chance but its understandable if he feels he couldn't do it. At least he's not roped you into a relationship to then let you down because "its just not working".

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  • Absolutely valid, not everyone is open to the challenges of a distance relationship so won’t waste their time starting one

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  • I think it's valid. I dated someone who lived that far. Too much gas money.

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  • Bullshit

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    • meaning if he liked you enough, he'd do it.

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    • Your right, but thats pretty needy unless they are very close.

    • I wouldn't say needy. When people truly are interested in someone else, they even do LDRs...

  • Very very valid.

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  • Valid excuse

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