Guys, How often do you make an effort to befriend a girl on a completely platonic level?

How often do you make an effort to be JUST friends with a girl? Do you try to make friendships with girls you are not attracted to, or is there always a hidden motive (attraction) behind wanting to befriend a girl?


*This question more so applies to straight men, since gay men would not have any hidden attraction towards the woman to motivate his action. ;)

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Most Helpful Guys

  • If I'm attracted to girl* then I ask her out. And if she rejects me and still wants to be friends then I make friends with her and maybe see if she has nice girlfriends I like and repeat. For ones I don't find attractive, I just make friends right away.

    * When I say I'm attracted to girl, I mean on more than a simple physical level. I find one of my close friends very attractive physically but she's a mega slut sleeping with new guy every weekend, and I am not attracted to her (don't want her) that way.

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    • But I don't have ulterior motives like that to summarize. I did like one of my closest friends this way and sketched her portrait:
      Guys, How often do you make an effort to befriend a girl on a completely platonic level?

      But she rejected me and said she only liked Hindu guys. So we became best friends instead and I call her "sister" and she calls me "brother".

      One thing that helps in my case is that I don't develop like some mega crush on a girl over months of seeing her. If I even start to like her a little bit, I'll ask her out the next time I see her in a very casual way. And if she rejects me, no problem. Then I'll probably ask another girl out the same day or at least the same week.

    • Main reason I never have any ulterior motives. If I like a girl I don't keep it hidden. I just ask her out ASAP. :-D

    • Well, I do have one sort of ulterior motive to making friends with girls. Even if they reject me, they might have connections to other girls I might start to like and they can sort of vouch for me. So I find it convenient to have female friends as a way to get girls, but not them. As an example, with the Indian girl above who rejected me since she only dated Hindu guys (and turned out to be true, I'm now close friends with her husband who is Hindu), she was the one who ultimately introduced me to my wife some years later.

  • I do sometimes.
    I usually become friends with women that I work with.
    If we become very good friends over the years I start to get a bit of feelings for her.
    I guess it's just natural.
    I don't act on it especially if she's married, but it's always going to be a little more than a male friendship for me.

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What Guys Said 12

  • I think it's possible if she has some similar interests but for some reason isn't a potential girlfriend.

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  • Rarely. Dont be offended, by guys usually make better friends than girls.
    But when it happens, i appreciate it abit more than a guy friend. Probably because im simply a male and i like talking to girls.
    I admit i enjoy flirting with female friends, but just for the fun of it.

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  • Never. Not in this day and age. Too risky and stressful. We are either professional workers doing our job or we are strangers who never talk or look at each other.

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  • It is not always so that I befriend a girl to have a relationship with her later. I may befriend her because I like her nature/personality or if she happens to be of any other use just like guys.

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  • i never make any effort specifically to befriend a girl on a platonic level. either i wasn't going for a platonic level or she's too ugly for my taste and just sticks around even though i rejected her xD

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  • Never. What's the point of having a friend of the opposite sex if there's no romantic possibility? I can't think of any.

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  • Never. If I speak with any female other than the order taker at McDonald's, I really want to bone her.

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  • Almost never. If I'm talking to a girl, 9 times out of 10 it's because I find them attractive.

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  • It seems im only capable of having platonic female friends even if I want a real relationship more than anything.

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  • so you are assuming that there is an attraction then by your details.

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  • make an EFFORT? Never. Im not stupid.

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  • Only if they are ugly

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