Do you think its appropriate for your lover to keep old pictures of their ex?

I'm aware my boyfriend still has pictures of his ex on this phone (not in his gallery but on his snapchat, about 1 - 3 photos of her in his camera roll) I'm dont know if he even remembers they are there. He also has her number and dads number on his phone (he got a new phone recently and the sim card had saved numbers) I'm not sure if I'm bothered by it or not because I'm generally insecure with myself. What do you think? If it shouldn't be there how do I talk to him about it without sounding hostile?
  • Sure why not
    Vote A
  • Absolutely not
    Vote B
  • Depends
    Vote C
  • Other (comment)
    Vote D
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Absolutely fine. I have pictures of all my exes and myself together on my phone.

    It's not because I'm attracted to them or I want to get back together with them, far from it. It's just memories, to remind me of who I used to be and where I've come from.

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    • This was also a helpful answer because I can see more than just 1 side

  • if those pics of their ex are of certain memories then doesn't matter, better to have a story to tell than gaps in memories... trust me i know this first hand...
    but if those photo's are of the naked variety or given for personal intimate reasons then no...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I believe it's reasonable to have solid memories of any long period with your ex, I wouldn't be too bothered he obviously left her for a reason

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 12

  • I have pictures of several of my exs. Those aren't just memories of the time I spent with them. They're memories of me. I would not throw them out unless I was going to, like, marry the person. If I dated an ex for 3 years, and I've been dating this chick for 6 months, I'm not going to throw the picture away of the chick I dated for 3 years and loved deeply for her. That's kinda tantamount to me demanding that she throw away pictures of her best friends, even if things ended poorly with them. How would you respond to that? I'd be like, "Fuck you. Find someone else who will live under your tyranny."

    Naked pics would be different. But if it's just a picture of the two doing stuff or holding hands or hugging or whatever, why not.

    I still have a picture of myself and my girlfriend from when I was 15 years old. Believe it or not, every couple years I'll check it out and just remember all those great times I had as a young kid. And I don't have many pictures of me at that age. The exs I don't have pictures of, but had intimate relationships with, I don't remember shit about those times. Maybe that's just my bad memory.

    Sometimes you just like to look back to the past and just enjoy those moments. Just because you are with someone, that doesn't take away all the good times you had with other people, in my opinion.

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  • It doesn't matter whether it's "appropriate" or not-- if people want to, they're going to. You weren't around with your lover when they were with this other person, and this other person was. Feelings were there. Life was lived. It's an experience. Erasing photos isn't going to make that time go away, or something. If someone wants to keep something to remind them favorably of that time, that's their right.

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  • Normal photos saved on the laptop in some Folder would I see as appropriate. Photos in the end are our form of remembering or better storing memory that is too complicated to store in our brains

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  • I find it weird.

    I deleted every single pic of my ex that was on my PC and burned all the real photos that I had, even the wedding photos. People say it is destroying memories but to me it is like taking out the trash.

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  • Why does she keep that guys photo? If she is not aware of it like you said, I would tell her to delete them. Otherwise it is unacceptable.

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  • It depends. If they have kids together or your S. O. is widowed, then it is quite normal.

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  • Psychologically it means they haven't moved on. It's pathetic and wrong.

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  • If that ex was your wife who died then yes keep some photos on your computer anyone else no

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  • it's their memories and their pictures. they're entiteled to keeping them.

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  • I don't think it's a big deal he probably forgot

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    • Okay, i have a bad habit. So sometimes I escalate things in my head and then try my best to prevent worst case scenario even if it's impossible. He had said to me before that for most, their first love or a long term relation they usually still would have SOME love left but not enough to get back together. I got upset and he said if he loved her as much as I think he did he wouldn't be with me and that he loves me. They dont talk at all anymore. He is a bit older so maybe it's hard for me to understand because I'm inexperienced. And then the picture just had me overthinking.

  • no..

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  • No way

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What Girls Said 8

  • I still have photos of my ex in my album because they are good memories after all. And I have his mom's number still too, for the same reason. To some extent it does show that I'm still unable to let him go, so it is definitely not unreasonable that you're worrying. I think you should sit down and talk to him about it, and your feelings.

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  • I'll listen to why he thinks it's appropriate and then decide.

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  • Honestly no but I have pictures and videos of my ex. It’s nothing I’m trying to hide.

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  • I find it odd, but i can't say what context they have the photos for.

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  • It's good to have a past to remember good times. It's very personal and not anyone's business but their own.

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  • My ex who’s my close friend still has pictures of me as for my current boyfriend I’m his first girlfriend

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  • It's creepy

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    • Show All
    • @Reallypretty I have no idea what you're talking about.

      @626Love No... everyone is stuck in the past. Like I just said, if yesterday matters (and it does), then so does yesteryear; all a year or a decade is, is a long series of yesterdays. I'm not "pretty upset" at all-- I simply saw a comment that didn't make sense, asked her about it, and she basically didn't answer because there is no answer that makes sense. "But, but insecure! ! !" Um... okay, so how or why would it be my *partner's* fault that I am insecure? It's not. A relationship is a partnership, but if I feel whooaaaa insecurrrre or whatever in life for reasons from before I even knew my partner, then how can I lay that on my partner just because they have photos of their ex? Really, on something as small as that? It's dumb. It's illogical and irrational and dumb.

  • The ex is part of this person´s history, and thy do have a right to keep memories of their past. Maybe those photos shouldn´t be displayed on social media tho, at least not if the account is public.

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