To date, or not to Date? That is the question.

Ever since I met my best friend's little sister three years ago, I can't stop thinking about her. She was pregnant and engaged, but now I've grown to love her one-and-a-half-year-old daughter and she's divorced. I told her I was attracted to her and she didn't believe me at first since I'm quite the joker. Since I told her, she hasn't talked to me and I'm starting to think that I'm losing my chances. Any advice?


Most Helpful Girl

  • First of all, I see that you are 18-24, which seems very young to me for someone who wants to get involved with a woman who is freshly divorced and with a child.

    You must realize that you are playing with fire here. She is a woman coming straight out of a divorce and has a child, therefore, it will take a lot of work to date her and ultimately, be in a relationship with.

    Out of respect for her and her child, you must take a hard look at what it is you want for yourself, and ultimately, for her and her child. If you truly feel she is worth pursuing, you must realize that you will eventually become part of her child's life. If you decide to date her, you are not only dating her, but her child as well.

    You must realize that you are young yourself and this relationship will be a HUGE commitment. Are you in school? Working on a career? If so, think long and hard before pursuing this. Once you enter her and her child's life, it will be very difficult to break up later down the road. You are not only breaking up with her, but her child as well. It is very unfair for a man to come into her life, only to leave. Not only will she become attached to you, but her child will as well.

    Please consider your options and the reality of things before pursuing this one. If you find that you truly want to be a part of her life, by all means, go for it. Perhaps take things very slow at first so that you two may work out a relationship that will not take her away from her child. Enter her child's life slowly so that you can help ease into a relationship with her child and ultimately become somewhat of a father figure down the road.

    I wish you the best of luck. Remember to always follow your heart because you know your mind will eventually find it's way.


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What Girls Said 2

  • I think you're a champ for trusting your gut and not letting the fact that she has a child & is divorced stop you from liking her. You told her once, even if you think she didn't believe you she probably just made it seem like that to give her time to process. Give her a bit of time. Don't expect her to contact you and give you a response. You should initiate conversation, just like normal, and in a week or so tell her once more your feelings, but this time make sure she knows you are serious.

    Hopefully after telling her the second time she will have had enough time to think about it and give you an honest answer. Good luck! :)

  • make sure she likes you too before investing anymore time already. send her flowers and see her reaction. If she says something like "thanks that was sweet" then go for it, if she says something like "why would you do that? we aren't even dating and that's creepy" then you should stop. I'm not saying it will be that easy to tell, but you should try some stuff and see her reaction then play from there. Make sure she likes you before you give it more of your effort and time.


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