Does anyone else feel bad that their partner always insists on paying for them?

The last couple times that we’ve gone out, my boyfriend has paid for me which is really sweet of him of course but it makes me feel kind of guilty sometimes. I’ve offered to pay several times and every time, he refuses and says that he’ll never let me pay and he wants to be a gentleman. I just feel like it’s a little unfair and we’re teenagers so it’s not like he has a lot of money anyway. I know I should appreciate that he’s willing to do that for me but I just can’t shake the guilt. Does anyone else feel this way?
Updates:
For all the guys that say that this never happens to them, why exactly do you always insist on paying?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • I go through this all the time holy lmao. Basically I always pay for my girl because I'm lucky enough to have enough money to do so, but she always feels guilty regardless (I live in the middle of the city, own property, etc). We've eventually come up with a system however because equality n dat (I agree) that maybe Ill pay for one, she'll pay for another, or we'll split sometimes. Insisting on paying should come from both sides honestly, but the guy usually pays because thats probably the social norm.

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  • I don't insist.. but I enjoy doing so, because I like treating my girl as if she's a queen. I enjoy doing things only I can do... fixing her pc if it crash, installing or mounting her tv, lifting a heavy ass piano from the van... paying for any outing.

    its just something I enjoy personally, and I'm glad she allows me to be chivalrous an isn't into this new age equality stuff.

    I enjoy equality, and believe in it, and if she WANTS to pay by all means... but it isn't frowned upon if I choose to do so by her lol.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Same here. I hate it when a guy insists on paying all the time- at least let me pay half or my part of the meal!
    But some men are raised to pay the bill when they take a woman out.

    Next time why don't you offer to take him out, your treat? In the past when a guy has taken me out, if they insist on paying, I offer to buy the next meal (and I do too!), or if we go out for dessert after dinner, like ice cream? I pay for that.

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  • I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we both support each other financially. If I’m short on cash for lunch or whatever he will give me whatever he can. There was once I took $5 dollars from him without asking and literally came back to tell him I was sorry and cried and he took the the $5 to me and handed me a $20. He has no Problem giving me something if I need it.

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    • this is the way it had to be, cause money doesn't matter, i respect u both, this made my day thank u! (faith in humanity restored)

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 17

  • I once had a girlfriend who was a banker (I was doing military service at the time), and she paid for everything (it was no problem for her). I was really embarassed by it though, especially when waiters would bring me the bill and she'd pay. One time in Italy, a waiter actually said something to her about it in Italian, thinking I wouldn't understand.

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  • It should be mutual and not one way or the other. There should be a meeting of minds and actual life realities that depict your overall situation and which course of action is best for both not just one. Practicality not selfishness dictates the best course of action for everyone involved. My way or the highway doesn't always work. Temporarily it does but eventually it rears its ugly head.

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  • I'm a dude, I will never feel this way.
    Just tell him you want to pay too. Tell him that doesn't define whether he's a gentleman or not, what he's doing is just material, and the fact the reason is because he wants to be a gentleman, doesn't make him a gentleman. This comes from attitude and how he genuinely treats you. What comes from within, not what comes from what he's told to do to be a gentleman.

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  • nowadays there's a great fuss about who pays what, honestly mate, u dont have to feel bad and the fact u still feel bad at all must mean u love the man not the money, so honest respect 👍

    once its official i myself insist on paying everything, yet the feeling that it doesn't count would be good deep inside.

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  • No since I'm single but if i did have one then yes i don't really think it fair to have her pay for everything even if she wants to. Which I'm kinda surprised cause most girls seriously expect that from guy and that's not fair

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  • We insist of paying because we want to be as you called it, gentleman, we want to be nice, and take it on ourselves because we like the person we're with...
    But, if you want to make a step, then one time when he pays, just put your half on the table and insist to split, even if he doesn't accept it, and he'd really appreciate it...

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  • Me and my girlfriend had the exact same thing
    I always paid and she felt guilty
    And then when all my stuff broke and I didn't have money she started buying everything and then I feeld guilty
    So we are just now switching every two or so days
    Like I pay for our lunch one day and she the other one
    If you are just starting I would recommend letting him but if you are together longer I would talk about it

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  • Just make it a game of trying to sneak to the atm first like my family :p

    he's trying to be kind/contribute so maybe find other ways for him to do that if this ones not working for you

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    • I pay when Im making more money, otherwise its fairly 50/50 after the first date.

  • If he can afford to pay for a date and i wouldn't worry much
    I think that is nice that he showers you with love he does and
    He cares about you there is very few guys like him you found
    a winner.

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  • So maybe you pay for your girlfriends or cousins or something some other time, and the universe goes back into balance.

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  • Guys typically prefer to pay for a multitude of reasons, I'll provide mine then what others may do and use stereotypical scenarios.

    I personally always pay unless we gave been seeing each other and we may split it. I prefer to pay because I like to feel like I'm of use as anyone can pay but thoroughly insuring that as the "provider" to show them skills to be able to buy them something. But also because its nice to pay shows you care but some guys do this do they feel strong or masculine or generally superior which I can see as being normal but completely different to what some other guys mean by it.

    So next time (if you actually have the expendable funds) be that more domineering but make it clear its because you want him to be able to also I'dk provide or just show you care and want the best for both of you etc.

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  • Every now and then take HIM out. Make clear from the beginning, I'M taking YOU out.
    At least that's what I'd try.

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  • I never allow my gurl to pay

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  • seems weird.

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  • I do, but not with my girlfriend or wife.

    My parents, they're poor, still spend so much money on me and my education.

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  • We never mind paying for the girl

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  • No , i am a guy... that doesn’t happen to guys.

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    • Social convention and pressure.
      We are expected to pay or we are considered “cheap” or “less of a man”

What Girls Said 9

  • then be careful, I have always paid my way, it could be his way of controlling, insist if you feel guilty, and see the reaction, best to find out now than later

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  • My boyfriend always insists in paying but doesn't reject my offers when I also insist.

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  • I hate it when he does that. I can't convince him! He keeps saying I can pay once I start working (I'm in college). So I've decided to make up for it by buying him stuff here and there.

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  • Yes, I hate it in general
    I hate somebody paying for me in general, I like to split the check but also I don't like to argue about it, if they insist that much then k

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  • Ha! That's never happened to me😂 I'm single as H-E double hockey stick.

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    • But on a serious note, don't feel bad. If he wants to do it then let him. Let hin feel like a man rofl

  • If I had a partner that did that, I wouldn’t feel bad at all.

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  • Thats why you pay some time.

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  • I've been seeing someone a few months now and they still do this. I feel like by now I should start contributing but he always insist that he will pay.

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  • If he wants to pay its ok because I don't have any money. I can take care of the baby But I honestly can't pay for steak dinner because I don't have a lot of money. 😅

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