What am I not getting about this guy?

I've never had a boyfriend or have someone showing interest in me, so I have no idea what to make of this situation.

Long story short, my driving instructor and I have been flirting over text messages for a while. He is definitely more than a little older than me, I would say, mid/late-30s. I'm 23. Last Wednesday I needed to stay up through the night. He texted to tell me to not forget to eat. I replied, there's actually a lot to eat here and that I needed to eat to stay awake anyway. He said, but don't overeat. I said, I'll make sure I won't get fat if that's what he's afraid of.

His next message threw me off course. He said, why do you sound like you're already my girl? Do you like me? My thoughts were, haven't you ALREADY been treating me like I am, what with the "my dear"s and "my gal"s and "miss you"s and "can't wait to see you"? What am I missing here?!

When I asked him do you want me to be? He asked do you like me again. And said that I don't even know him that well, what did he do to attract me? I texted back saying I didn't say that (that I like him, though it didn't mean I didn't like him!) and that he doesn't know me well either, how'd he know I meant that? I didn't hear from him in a while and when I did, he said he was sorry he misunderstood the whole thing and he won't bother me again.

Things just kinda went downhill from there. I just had a lesson with him this afternoon and he was being all stern and berated me for all the mistakes I made, which was a far cry from before all this happened! He used to be funny and nice and the lessons were really relaxed.

What am I not getting here? Can a guy really change that fast? Is there anything I can do to fix this?


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What Guys Said 2

  • DI does not have much good experience in "dating - step" one and has been rejected, even abused.

    You are texting DI long prior to your next lesson. DI, I really miss the good times we used to have and I feel my lack of experience has harmed you in some way. Should we meet at a pizza place and share our feelings? Where's a good place nearby so I don't have to drive?

    You both are sitting across from each other waiting for or eating pizza. DI, I am so sorry for tripping over our texting feelings to the point of hurting our relationship. I don't have much experience in this you now unfortunately realize. Hopefully today we can square things up. I feel like you might want me as a girlfriend but are afraid I'll reject you. I certainly loved those caring texts you sent. I AM attracted to you and the idea that we might have some special connection BUT I really, really need to go slooooow with this. I felt your caring and know IF this is genuine, you'll respect my wishes and be just as comfortable in the slow lane. BTW, DI I DO appreciate you being strict with me as teacher. This means you care that I avoid accidents in my future. I just wanted to segregate the teaching aspect from our friendship.

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