Two guys....what do I do?!

Ok, so I had been dating this guy for like 4 years and we decided to take a break for various reasons (Mine: he was not working and I was the guy in our relationship in all aspects). I really care about him and still love him. He is doing a lot better with his life and we still hang out regularly.

On the other hand around the time of my break with my ex, my high school sweetheart came back into the picture only as a friend though. I have loved my high school sweetheart since high school and still had feelings for him when I was with my ex boyfriend. When it comes to my sweetheart, he is completely different than my ex. He doesn't expect anything from me and wants for nothing more than what I choose to give to him. The reasoning for our break up was his parents didn't accept our interracial relationship. Most people see the common interracial relationship of black guy, white girl and don't mind too much. Well, I am a black girl who loves dating white guys. I see nothing wrong with it, it's my personal preference.

If I could I would dating both of them, because what one lacks in their personality and life choices the other makes up for. However, I could never do that, I am so not like that at all. I don't cheat and never had, I see what it does to people including myself and I would never inflict that pain intentionally on someone.

*Neither of these guys cheated on me just to add!

My ex boyfriend wants to get back together soon once he gets some things in order and I feel he is only doing so because he knows that if I start dating my high school sweetheart he will not get that chance with me again. He says that he still loves me but because I won't sleep with him, he has decided to in his words get what he is lacking. That bothers me because he can't wait for me. Now with my high school sweetheart, he wants to date and has asked me recently but we have had some issues with him being so busy with work, school and sports. The timing is just not perfect and may not be for a few months. What should I do? Should I just let them both go? Should I give up on being with my high school sweetheart and start dating my ex because we are compatible and get along well. Should I just continue to be single and wait for my high school sweetheart because his intentions are genuine and he is not looking for what he is lacking.

Small footnote: When I am with my high school sweetheart I can't think of anything else or anyone else and when I am not around him I tend to think about him. But with the time issue I tend to back off from him a bit and then he pulls me back in with his random moments of free time for me. And those moments are great.

With my ex when I am with him, it's fun and laughter and I remember why I still love him and I am accepting to his family and parents. I sometimes find myself drifting into thoughts about my high school sweetheart but because me and my ex are normally so on the go my mind just runs with the moment.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I would say really think about what you want out of a good relationship where you can feel comfortable and have a healthy stable relationship. Give yourself some time, and there's no need to rush. It seems as if your ex is more physically invested (sexually, having you around him) than emotionally having a good vulnerable relationship with you. think about that! The impatience, clingyness, co-dependant lifestyle is not for you. I can see it just by seeing how stressed you sound from writing this. Give yourself some "Me" time and relax!


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