Have you ever used online dating sites?

Question

I am 63 years old and I first used an online dating site when I was 51 years old. I have used match. com, Plenty Of Fish, and a few church affiliated sites. In 2007-2008, I had first meetings with at least 15 women and most of them were "one and done's." I dated a few of them for several months each and then met my future ex-wife. Our marriage only lasted 4 years but its failure was not related to the fact that we met online.

In 2015, I again had first meetings with about 10 women before I met a lady who I dated for two years. I broke up with her because, even though she was willing to be monogamous with me the rest of my life, she did not love me. I used online dating for a third time and again had 13 first dates before meeting my current partner. We are living together and committed to a lifelong monogamous relationship.

Have you used online dating sites? Did you have success? If not, why do you think it didn't work for you?

I have never used an online dating site

I am currently using an online dating site but have not yet had any success

I am currently using an online dating site and have had some success with it

I have used an online dating site in the past but stopped using it because I never had any success

I used an online dating site, found a partner, and we are now monogamous

I used an online dating site, found a partner, and we are now married

I have used an online dating site in the past but stopped using it for other reasons

Select age and gender to cast your vote:

GirlGuy

Answer 1

midnightmoon05 | 625 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

First boyfriend. in college... single for 5 years... had lots of friends, guys or gals... enjoyed that...
Joined Match... met my ex. husband at 27. When most were looking for real relationships.

Met. ex. on POF
Met current ex. here...

I have good experience with online dating...

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2 People

Answer 2

Pink2000 | 2.5K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

I signed my grandma up for a dating site when she was like 62. Her first time ever using a dating site

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2 People

OlderAndWiser

+1 y
Most cool! How did she react when you told her?
Pink2000

+1 y
She actually enjoyed it. We looked at guys together. It was cool. She would ask me what do I think about a certain guy.
OlderAndWiser

+1 y
Bridging the generations! Nice! You will treasure that memory all of your life, I'm sure.
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Pink2000

+1 y
Yes. It was a fun memory.

Answer 3

OlderAndWiser

Most cool! How did she react when you told her?

Answer 4

Pink2000

She actually enjoyed it. We looked at guys together. It was cool. She would ask me what do I think about a certain guy.

Answer 5

OlderAndWiser

Bridging the generations! Nice! You will treasure that memory all of your life, I'm sure.

Answer 6

Pink2000

Yes. It was a fun memory.

Answer 7

ChetAtkins

Xper 7

Yes, I've tried it and it was a cluster fuck. We've talked about this before. It's a great place for talking to women and having risque conversations. But it's a horrible place to look for a mate. You got lucky, but most don't.

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1 Person

OlderAndWiser

+1 y
I don't think it was luck. I learned some lessons, changed my approach, and it worked. That's what happened for me.
ChetAtkins

+1 y
Then I bow to the master. Maybe you should do a post on that advice on here. There are a few people on here that are actually looking for advice.
OlderAndWiser

+1 y
It took me about a year to figure out how to go about it, and - fortunately - I am a patient man.
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ChetAtkins

+1 y
I've talked to women who've been on those sites for 10 years, but they won't settle for anyone less than Superman. Good luck with that. lol
OlderAndWiser

+1 y
You just pass right by those bitches and keep on going!
ChetAtkins

+1 y
Unfortunately, they don't always tell you that part. I spent a lot of money on dinner and drinks for a girl, and she told me she was just doing this for the free food. lol
I wasn't even mad, because my expectations were so low that it didn't even shock me.
Another girl told me after dinner that she was a witch. I told her that it might have been nice to mention that in her profile. (but at least she paid her half of the bill)
To this day I wonder if I made a mistake passing on her. She was great in every other way.
OlderAndWiser

+1 y
I've never had a girl tell me that she was not serious, but if I had a girl tell me that she was just in it for the free dinner, I would probably tell her that she could pay for a cab home. That is a certified bitch thing to do.

Never met a witch but I met a few weirdos. A few that lied about their age and used old pictures. Most I met were nice ladies and I was either not physically attracted or I sensed some personality problem (like drank 5 mixed drinks during dinner.) But since 2007, I have had several relationships that lasted longer than 2 months as a result of POF or match: Oksana, Joni, Lynn, Ivy, Valerie, Sandy, Miss T (my current girlfriend.) They were as good as the women I might have met by conventional methods.
ChetAtkins

+1 y
You must have the luck of the Irish.
I met an awesome lady. We exchanged about a trillion text messages.
Her IQ was that of genius level. Then we met and she said my "aura" was the wrong color. lol
Shit! I asked her if she knew of any places in town that change aura colors. She didn't know of any. I know it works for some, but not for most.
OlderAndWiser

+1 y
Funny you mention that. When I was active, my profile had a list of things I don't do or don't care about - line dancing, feng shui, etc., - and one of the things I said was "I don't give a damn if you think my aura is black or purple!"
ChetAtkins

+1 y
LMAO You're much wiser than me. It never dawned on me to mention my aura color. To this day, II wish I had asked her what color it was. Do you know how hard it is to find someone that can see auras? I kind of hope it's blue, because that has been my favorite color forever. I missed that opportunity. We met at a casino where she lives. She told me the aura thing in the bar while we were having a drink. After the meeting, she asked me if I wanted her her to pay for her own drink.
I was such a dumb shit, and I paid. In hindsight, I wish I would had said: "That's between you and the bartender, but I"m only paying for the one I drank." lol What could they do to me? Call the cops. She poured it down her neck, I didn't. I wish I would have done that with all the dates. I will NEVER again pay for the first date. Fuck them. If she turns out to be a nice lady, and a single mom who's struggling, then I'll pay for everything after the first date. But the first one is 50/50. Take it or leave it.
ChetAtkins

+1 y
Thank you.

Answer 8

OlderAndWiser

I don't think it was luck. I learned some lessons, changed my approach, and it worked. That's what happened for me.

Answer 9

ChetAtkins

Then I bow to the master. Maybe you should do a post on that advice on here. There are a few people on here that are actually looking for advice.

Answer 10

OlderAndWiser

It took me about a year to figure out how to go about it, and - fortunately - I am a patient man.

Answer 11

ChetAtkins

I've talked to women who've been on those sites for 10 years, but they won't settle for anyone less than Superman. Good luck with that. lol

Answer 12

OlderAndWiser

You just pass right by those bitches and keep on going!

Answer 13

ChetAtkins

Unfortunately, they don't always tell you that part. I spent a lot of money on dinner and drinks for a girl, and she told me she was just doing this for the free food. lol
I wasn't even mad, because my expectations were so low that it didn't even shock me.
Another girl told me after dinner that she was a witch. I told her that it might have been nice to mention that in her profile. (but at least she paid her half of the bill)
To this day I wonder if I made a mistake passing on her. She was great in every other way.

Answer 14

OlderAndWiser

I've never had a girl tell me that she was not serious, but if I had a girl tell me that she was just in it for the free dinner, I would probably tell her that she could pay for a cab home. That is a certified bitch thing to do.

Never met a witch but I met a few weirdos. A few that lied about their age and used old pictures. Most I met were nice ladies and I was either not physically attracted or I sensed some personality problem (like drank 5 mixed drinks during dinner.) But since 2007, I have had several relationships that lasted longer than 2 months as a result of POF or match: Oksana, Joni, Lynn, Ivy, Valerie, Sandy, Miss T (my current girlfriend.) They were as good as the women I might have met by conventional methods.

Answer 15

ChetAtkins

You must have the luck of the Irish.
I met an awesome lady. We exchanged about a trillion text messages.
Her IQ was that of genius level. Then we met and she said my "aura" was the wrong color. lol
Shit! I asked her if she knew of any places in town that change aura colors. She didn't know of any. I know it works for some, but not for most.

Answer 16

OlderAndWiser

Funny you mention that. When I was active, my profile had a list of things I don't do or don't care about - line dancing, feng shui, etc., - and one of the things I said was "I don't give a damn if you think my aura is black or purple!"

Answer 17

ChetAtkins

LMAO You're much wiser than me. It never dawned on me to mention my aura color. To this day, II wish I had asked her what color it was. Do you know how hard it is to find someone that can see auras? I kind of hope it's blue, because that has been my favorite color forever. I missed that opportunity. We met at a casino where she lives. She told me the aura thing in the bar while we were having a drink. After the meeting, she asked me if I wanted her her to pay for her own drink.
I was such a dumb shit, and I paid. In hindsight, I wish I would had said: "That's between you and the bartender, but I"m only paying for the one I drank." lol What could they do to me? Call the cops. She poured it down her neck, I didn't. I wish I would have done that with all the dates. I will NEVER again pay for the first date. Fuck them. If she turns out to be a nice lady, and a single mom who's struggling, then I'll pay for everything after the first date. But the first one is 50/50. Take it or leave it.

Answer 18

ChetAtkins

Thank you.

Answer 19

Prof_Don | 3.7K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

I met my girlfriend of two years and counting... on OKCupid.

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1 Person

Answer 20

Jean-Marie_Céline

Influencer

Never used them.
A friend of mine uses them a lot, to little success.

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1 Person

Answer 21

mrbobz

Explorer

I think they can be handy to find people outside of your social group, but beyond that they are not much use. They have about the same success as trying to date people from your extended social group... so if you think about it that way.

I met my current partner via a dating website, but it basically got us connected on FB, we chatted a bit then stopped chatting, then something sparked us to chat again 6 months later... then we met up, dated a bit... stopped... then got together... but it was all down to getting in touch with some one i doubt i would have ever met other wise

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1 Person

Answer 22

cth96190 | 2.1K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

I tried a couple of sites about 10 years ago.
Most of the profiles had been created by scammers in Ghana and Nigeria.
I reveived about 200 messages each week from such scammers.
The genuine profiles belonged to women who were insane and usually needed a Weight Watchers membership.

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1 Person

OlderAndWiser

+1 y
Wow! 200 messages per week is insane! I received 3-4 per week.

Answer 23

OlderAndWiser

Wow! 200 messages per week is insane! I received 3-4 per week.

Answer 24

CubsterShura | 1.1K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

I'm too precious for online dating 😂 even if I ever do I'll only use certain good ones and be very cautious about what I'm getting myself into.

I don't mind marriage/matrimony based websites like shaadi. com. I think it is actually good when I don't mind the idea of getting married but ain't interested in anyone particularly.

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1 Person

Answer 25

cavmanier | 3.4K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

I haven't used it but man that's a lot of dates you went on to find the right girl 😳 I'm planning to take the plunge into dating again sometime this year.

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1 Person

OlderAndWiser

+1 y
Yes, I sorted through many to find the one, and I'm sure I could not have met that many women without the benefit of online dating.

Answer 26

OlderAndWiser

Yes, I sorted through many to find the one, and I'm sure I could not have met that many women without the benefit of online dating.

Answer 27

Anonymous

I have used online dating , if you don't look like Brad Pitt or George Clooney or you are not a millionaire you are not going to have much luck. Too much competition and someone new and better looking is always popping up. Maybe by lowering your expectations you will have better luck.

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1 Person

OlderAndWiser

+1 y
I don't look like Brad Pitt or George Clooney and I don't reveal my income or occupation online, but I have been successful.
cavmanier

+1 y
OlderAndWiser were the women actually attractive though?
OlderAndWiser

+1 y
@cavmanier A few of them showed up and it was obvious that their picture was taken 50 pounds ago but most of them were exactly what I expected: moderately attractive, nice ladies, and most of them would have been a good match for somebody.
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cavmanier

+1 y
I figure the pretty girls are likely rarely on there and if they are, they are likely swarmed so trying to get their attention would be hard. Meeting in real life makes more sense for being able to show initial body language and willingness to be bold with them. I think I'd have much better success.

Answer 28

OlderAndWiser

I don't look like Brad Pitt or George Clooney and I don't reveal my income or occupation online, but I have been successful.

Answer 29

cavmanier

OlderAndWiser were the women actually attractive though?

Answer 30

OlderAndWiser

@cavmanier A few of them showed up and it was obvious that their picture was taken 50 pounds ago but most of them were exactly what I expected: moderately attractive, nice ladies, and most of them would have been a good match for somebody.

Answer 31

cavmanier

I figure the pretty girls are likely rarely on there and if they are, they are likely swarmed so trying to get their attention would be hard. Meeting in real life makes more sense for being able to show initial body language and willingness to be bold with them. I think I'd have much better success.

Answer 32

AynonOMouse

Master

I have in the past. That is where I met my ex wife years ago. But the next time I went on a few it was different. Most profiles were fake scammers trying to get information or trying to get people to join cam sites or other BS like that.
Most of the real people I did find were only interested i hook ups or in how much money the guy makes. After seeing that I quit using them because it seemed unlikely to find a good person for an actual relationship.

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1 Person

Answer 33

Udbhav_Bantwal

Explorer

I tried it once even though I knew it was pointless and I was right, online dating just doesn't work for me...

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1 Person

OlderAndWiser

+1 y
You probably needed some help but I think it can work for most people.
Udbhav_Bantwal

+1 y
I didn't really need help, I matched with a bunch of women and I got hit up by quite a few women but the reason why online dating doesn't work for me is because in order for me to like someone I need to get to know her at least a little bit before we go on a date, I don't like going on dates with women I don't know and then seeing if I like her after that, I got see if I like her first and then go on a date with her which is why most of the women I've dated were friends first. I'm more of a face to face, social kind of guy so I prefer to socially interact with people and find someone I like this way...

Answer 34

OlderAndWiser

You probably needed some help but I think it can work for most people.

Answer 35

Udbhav_Bantwal

I didn't really need help, I matched with a bunch of women and I got hit up by quite a few women but the reason why online dating doesn't work for me is because in order for me to like someone I need to get to know her at least a little bit before we go on a date, I don't like going on dates with women I don't know and then seeing if I like her after that, I got see if I like her first and then go on a date with her which is why most of the women I've dated were friends first. I'm more of a face to face, social kind of guy so I prefer to socially interact with people and find someone I like this way...

Answer 36

JudgmentDay

Guru

Long ago, but realized it's just a waste of time and effort. Had long gave up and quit on dating, relationships, etc. once I had my reality check anyway.

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1 Person

Answer 37

Heiniken | 152 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 6

I commented this on your other mytake olderandwiser, I think for your age group online dating is extremely different than it is for millennial.

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Answer 38

Warmapplecrumble | 641 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

I met my husband online, it wasn't a dating site but a meet up one

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2 People

Answer 39

CandacePerry

Yoda

I used one but didn’t come after it. I found my current boyfriend on Facebook instead of dating. Most of guys on dating apps Were to old.

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1 Person

Answer 40

genericname85 | 7.5K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

i'm currently using them. i can score a date or 2 a year and it mostly sucks, cause the girls are straight up fat irl when they look normal in their pics.

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1 Person

Answer 41

CuriousMufuxka | 1.9K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

Besides messengers and chat rooms, no. I've usually always just found someone that I thought was cute outside or a girl at work. I usually get rejected lol, but the few actual numbers and dates have been worth it.

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1 Person

Answer 42

BCRanger10 | 941 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

I was on one for a while. I closed my account after I got together with my girlfriend.

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1 Person

Answer 43

Hannah_98

Explorer

I haven’t. Frankly, I hate my appearance and don’t want people judging it. 😂

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1 Person

Answer 44

MittenstheGlove | 149 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 7

I have used them and have uninstalled them for self-betterment.

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1 Person

cavmanier

+1 y
Bro, I bet you'd do good on them.
MittenstheGlove

+1 y
Ha ha. Thank you. I mean I did fairly well. But the entirety of the apps ended up becoming very toxic as women weren’t looking for anything long term and while always dangerous indiscriminate sex became boring.

The women got all the benefit though, they got to date different men and have guys spend on them without having to do much of anything. The environment was not good for me.
cavmanier

+1 y
It sounds like you need to go meet a good girl at church 😂

But I agree, they get to have their dates paid for and they get to date up due to getting more attention from the dynamic of the internet.
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MittenstheGlove

+1 y
Exactly! But the sex was fun for awhile. 🤣
cavmanier

+1 y
Lol yeah and it's really good to go through a bit of that experimenting to figure out what you like and what's important to you. But after awhile it can become unfulfilling. I'm sure you'll find a good one.
MittenstheGlove

+1 y
Thanks, man. You’re the first bit of honest positivity I’ve received on this app. You’re a cool dude.
cavmanier

+1 y
Hey, I'm glad I could give you a positive experience. It can be rough here because people can get really defensive when sharing opinions that others disagree with. There can a lot of good people here that you may not get along with just because of an inane opinion difference. I wouldn't take it too serious. The value of this site is the breadth of insight to peoples' minds that we don't get to see as easily in person.

Answer 45

cavmanier

Bro, I bet you'd do good on them.

Answer 46

MittenstheGlove

Ha ha. Thank you. I mean I did fairly well. But the entirety of the apps ended up becoming very toxic as women weren’t looking for anything long term and while always dangerous indiscriminate sex became boring.

The women got all the benefit though, they got to date different men and have guys spend on them without having to do much of anything. The environment was not good for me.

Answer 47

cavmanier

It sounds like you need to go meet a good girl at church 😂

But I agree, they get to have their dates paid for and they get to date up due to getting more attention from the dynamic of the internet.

Answer 48

MittenstheGlove

Exactly! But the sex was fun for awhile. 🤣

Answer 49

cavmanier

Lol yeah and it's really good to go through a bit of that experimenting to figure out what you like and what's important to you. But after awhile it can become unfulfilling. I'm sure you'll find a good one.

Answer 50

MittenstheGlove

Thanks, man. You’re the first bit of honest positivity I’ve received on this app. You’re a cool dude.

Answer 51

cavmanier

Hey, I'm glad I could give you a positive experience. It can be rough here because people can get really defensive when sharing opinions that others disagree with. There can a lot of good people here that you may not get along with just because of an inane opinion difference. I wouldn't take it too serious. The value of this site is the breadth of insight to peoples' minds that we don't get to see as easily in person.

Answer 52

inmensus | 263 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 7

I've tried to before but most of them are packed with weirdos and guys looking for hook ups (like 85% of them), I'm also not attractive so guys don't pay attention to me.

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1 Person

kathryn943

+1 y
Lies! I think you're really pretty in your profile picture! If guys don't see that, then they've set their standards way too high.

Answer 53

kathryn943

Lies! I think you're really pretty in your profile picture! If guys don't see that, then they've set their standards way too high.

Answer 54

Gedaria

Master

I have used them but they charge per message. and the girls are reluctant to be contacted out of the site so it costs you money, I think that is all they want the people who run them...

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OlderAndWiser

+1 y
There are sites that charge a flat fee of maybe $60-70 per 6 month and then allow you unlimited messages.
Gedaria

+1 y
That's me all over choose the wrong ones. But it was fun while I was on …..

Answer 55

OlderAndWiser

There are sites that charge a flat fee of maybe $60-70 per 6 month and then allow you unlimited messages.

Answer 56

Gedaria

That's me all over choose the wrong ones. But it was fun while I was on …..

Answer 57

Liam_Hayden

Guru

I used Plenty of Fish for a short time because I realized that it was misnamed. It should be Plenty of Frauds.

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2 People

Have you ever used online dating sites?

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