Can somebody who hates himself/or thinks very low of themselves be able to be in a relationship?

I mean a healthy reliationship.
  • Yes, it s possible
    Vote A
  • No, you can't at all
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I voted yes before I read healthy relationship. I think it's still possible, especially if they find someone willing to support them and help them, however a healthy, stable relationship may be harder to maintain.

    The biggest obstacle though is does the person want to be helped? I used to know people who acted moody, miserable and "emoy" to get attention, and after I realised they were just doing it for attention and didn't want to be helped, I just cut them out of my life as I have no desire to associate with those kinds of people.

    If however, they are willing to be helped, are open about how they feel and are willing to allow their partner help them work things out, the relationship could totally thrive and that person could end up much healthier and better off because of it. However, this only works if they want to be helped. If they don't, don't bother even trying they are not worth it.

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  • Is it possible? Absolutely! Will it work out? It depends on the person who has to deal with other who doesn't love themselves.

    I knew a girl who was perfect for me and she would tell me the reason we can't be a thing was because she had to learn how to love herself first, which I greatly respected. I told her if you're with the right person, they will teach you how to love yourself!

    They will speak life and positivity into you often, they will add value to you. “I want you to know how wonderful you are; more wonderful than you probably can believe, but it’s true. I appreciate you.”

    When you're around that kind of mentality, you eventually begin to believe it!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's possible but I don't think it would last. It would soon tire out the partner and eat at the relationship. They may become clingy and place all their happiness on the person, instead of finding their own happiness in their own lives. I think for the most part, people should accept themselves and come to terms with the negative aspects of their lives before accepting a relationship.

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What Guys Said 18

  • It's interesting that you asked this, because I was just thinking about this today, actually. Pardon me while I go on an incredibly minor and pitiful rant.

    I hate my life, and the only reason that I'm in the long distance relationship that I'm in (with an incredibly beautiful and amazing woman, by the way), is because I can't get anything better... It's true... I hate my life. Categorically, I absolutely hate it. I get up early in the morning to load boxes into trucks, come home, and try to focus on writing my next film. My film career, by the way, is highly likely to become a huge success. I have a number of amazing contacts, and some very exciting things going on. But for now... I'm waiting. My girlfriend only contacted me, because she failed to get into grad school and as she left my country, she reached out to me because she finally had time for a relationship.

    Why did I go into an LDR, you ask? Great question, and the reason is that I can't fucking connect with anyone where I live. The only women I can connect with are freaks of nature who win beauty pageants while they go to med school. Odd problem, I know, but shockingly annoying when you're living through it.

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    • Believe it or not, i can understand you.
      I dont go into a reliationship, becasue i just can't think of a reason, why omebody would actually wanna date, me. I dont think there is anyreason fow that.

      I hate my life and erverything that comes from me is garbrage.

      I blieve that nobody loves me, i dont have trut in anybody not even myself.
      I changed myself so that people resepect me.
      I see myself and the women in the mirror as two diffrent people.
      If anyone ask me, who i am, i couldnt give an answer.

      I hate it. It is an internal struggle. and i wished many times i was dead.

      I want to get rid of myslef.
      The only reason why i didn't do it is becasue of my family. i dont want that they give the blame to them selves, they dont deerve that.

      The worst thing is, ome people believe im only seeking compliments, like 'no, your not that bad', 'youre beatiful and cute', etc..

      But the thing is.

      Compliment dont mean anything to me.
      I dont give a damn shit about me (please escuse my language)
      So does self harm.
      I didn't it and it became a part of my life.

      I wish you happiness

    • Thank you, and I hope you can find happiness as well. I think this experience is something that you have to just "get." Like, real shit, you and I both have great lives. I know that I have a ton to be thankful for... I just hate every second of it, and probably 90% of the issue is that I'm so goddamn lonely.

    • I was never lonley, people were talking with me. But 90% of people who did that were either, saying nasty things, encouraging other people to say even nasyier things, or blaming me for it.

      So i began to blame me for it, and i hate myself for everything that hapened in my life. I di have a great life. I m going to have my dream job. i just dont think, that i will reach it and i dont think i deserve it.

      And thank you

  • Hm~ You are very much able to lead a relationship that way. After all.. It's easier to love others than yourself and love for your partner is obviously very important in those.
    Though.. I've dealt with depression myself and I had a relationship back then but I really wouldn't call it healthy..
    When I tried to talk about my feelings, I always felt like a bother and thus hated myself even more for it (Though my girlfriend kept telling me how I shouldn't worry).
    Keeping everything to myself however, didn't make things better too obviously and having to keep your feelings from your partner is not exactly healthy aswell.
    I'm not completely over all that but looking back, I can see all the issues I've caused more clearly / rational and how things developed to be better than they were.
    In conclusion, I don't think that you can easily lead a "healthy" relationship when you hate yourself.. But even a relationship that faces those problems has the potential to help you to accept yourself (sadly it can have quite the opposite effect too, if things go the wrong way).
    It has the potential to grow along with how your grow as a person because of it and thus can very much achieve the basis of a healthy relationship when your work for it.

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  • Even a broken dude has potential, but its potential, it may never happen.

    In. the current state a broken will will cause a person to unintentionally sabatoge and withhold anything resembling success or happiness as a means of affirming to themselves they are bad.

    Those people need to find out who it is inside of their head that made them believe it.

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  • I only wanted a relationship after I became severely depressed. The excessive release of dopamine keeps me happy.
    My rationale's that I'd rather in love than dead, though I only admire from a distance, since I know I can be very clingy, and I doubt that I'd be able to keep her happy (I might just be speaking out of grief though. I've never actually dated before).
    I feel pathetic

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  • I’m in a full on love relationship with my girlfriend who’s So into me. Romantically obsessed we can say. Because the other person will make them feel special and she is to me. It’s very possible. As long as you make the right moves.

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  • you can be in a relationship but i see some challanges. On the longer term are you just pleasing the person and do you get frustrated with the other or do you find a way to bring the right balance in you relationship.

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  • yes, that's reason why bf/gf is there. Ur bf/gf should be able to explain/prove you that ur not worthless.

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  • My mother always said "no one will love you if you dont love yourself first"

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  • It is possible. But not probable. It would have to be with a very helping person.

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  • Happens all the time, and as your female MHO said, it wears the relationship to shreds.

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  • No it can't. How can you expect anyone to love you if you hate yourself.

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  • I said yes... Because sometimes it's easier to love others than yourself... And it doesn't creep into relationships

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    • Hm~ I've dealt with depression myself and I admit.. It's easier to love others than yourself.
      Though.. I had a relationship back then but I really wouldn't call it healthy.. When I tried to talk about my feelings, I always felt like a bother and thus hated myself even more for it.
      Keeping everything to myself however, didn't make things better too and having to keep your feelings from your partner is not exactly healthy aswell.
      I'm not completely over all that but looking back, I can see all the issues I've caused and how things developed to be better than they were.
      In conclusion, I don't think that you can easily lead a healthy relationship when you hate yourself.. But even a relationship that faces those problems has the potential to help you to accept yourself.
      Also quite the opposite if things go the wrong way.

  • When u lie 2 yourself how do u exspect others to beleive in u if u DON'T.

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    • I dont lie to myself. I just told myself what i believed is the truth.

  • Nah.
    It would spoil things.

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  • yes they can

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  • It likely won't be a sustaining one, no.

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  • Translation: This piece of crap just wants us to okay her rejecting some poor soul that she and her cunt friends have treated so badly that he sees himself that way.
    Go get raped bitch.

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  • "Healthy" is a vague concept when applied to human interactions.

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What Girls Said 10

  • I don’t think it would be easy. First someone has to be willing to love that person and they should be actively working to better themselves through therapy and other outlets. Otherwise you risk hurting the person who wants to love you.

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  • I think it is pretty hard to really love someone else if you cannot even love yourself.

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  • If you find the right person, of course you can, anything is possible if you’re willing to work for it.

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  • No if you can't love your self how are you going to love someone else.

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  • Its not healthy though

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  • Not possible

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  • No cause they drag you down with them.

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  • Girl are u serious

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  • It can be a possibility. I have issues of thinking lowly of myself and hating myself but I am in a relationship. At first, I believed that my husband could not possibly love me and accused him many times of not loving me. I could not accept his love either, as I felt he was trying to only do good to get me to do things for him later on. I was treated with hatred growing up, so I hated myself and others. BUT, slowly in my relationship I realized that I needed to change so I read a ton of self help books and went to counseling. It's not perfect, and that's because no one is perfect but I am learning.

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  • Saddly, I don't think it is. If you're overwhelmed by all your insecurities, that's all that matters and you're not mind free for a relationship

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