Me: Hey, I really enjoyed going out tonight with you. Good night! I'll talk to you tomorrow.
Him: You too, sleep well!
I'm not sure if he really wants to see me again or if I should text him. Should he text me first? I don't really know what I should be doing. I never get a second date the rare times I get a first one, and I'm not sure if he genuinely liked the time we spent together so I'm confused on what's supposed to happen now. I don't want to sound desperate but I also don't want him thinking I wasn't really interested when I was. Him being 35 makes it more difficult because I feel most guys his age are past game playing and I've never really been one to play games like this but I also have a tendency to ruin things pretty fast because I end up doing all the work talking to someone, and I don't want to drive him away. We don't have plans yet, but we also haven't spoken since the text I sent last night at 9:30pm. It's now 11:50am where I live. Do I wait a couple days or should I just wait for him to contact me first? I kinda told him to text me first but then the message I sent last night sounds like I implied I would talk to him first.
Most Helpful Guys
I have a few comments in no particular order:
- Trust your gut: twice in your opening paragraph you predicted no 2nd date "I'm scared he didn't like me" & "I think there was a hesitation"
That was your guy sensing his lack of chemistry.
- Order you own food: Don't ever feel badly about a guy treating you on a 1st date, that's our job. You are the prize and it's our opportunity to woo you, show that we can take care of you. By not choosing something and worrying about "spending a guys money a lot" it may send the wrong signal to your date. Just know going into it he is prepared to spend money and it's your job to enjoy yourself and feel like he I treating you.
- Be open to a kiss on Date #1: I also didn't used to kiss on the 1st date out of respect for the woman as I didn't want to signal I just cared about the physical. But it's 2019 and it is acceptable these days to kiss someone especially because there is usually some communication online before the 1st date and it can help judge if chemistry is felt. Obviously I agree no sex on date #1 but if you feel it go for the kiss or do whatever magic you ladies do that makes a guy want to kiss you.
- Dating isn't a waste of time: I know what it feels like to have a dozen 1st dates and the rejected feeling they can come with. But you probably know the experience is never a waste of time. Be sure to reflect on the night and find a lesson, something you learned about yourself or something about him you either desire or would be a red flag in your next relationship. If you see dates as wastes of time it will be hard to match to someone eventually without this experience. I applaud you going on the date and good job getting closure, most people don't.
Most Helpful Girls
Be patient; it's still early in the day. Unless in the past he's texted or spoke to you that early in the morning, give him some time. However, I don't see the issue with you texting him a "Good morning or good afternoon" text, let him know you had a really good time last night, and hope to meet up with him again sometime. Basically keep it simple and courteous.
There is nothing needy, desperate, or bad about that. If anything, it lets him know you're interested in him and you do want to see him again.
Now if he doesn't reply to your text today- then I'd be getting some red flags from him and back off or wait for him to reply to you.