Torn between two men. (Warning! LONG!)

I have a real dilemma and unfortunately I don't know what to do about it. I need to make a decision soon but I risk hurting one of these great guys in order to choose one over the other.

1. Six months younger than me. Father to two children and lives local to me. Currently in the British Army and comes home to see me and his girls whenever he's on leave and every other weekend. He texts all the time, and even to say he's busy and he'll talk to me later (I think its a habit from his ex-wife as she would always check up on him, personally I think if you're busy that's fine you don't need to tell me. But its sweet and I appreciate the gesture). He's a real gentleman and we've been meeting up regularly since the beginning of last month after meeting on a dating website. We have since both taken down our profiles. Although we don't have a lot in common we both fun together and talk for ages, go for meals out together, wine night at his when he's put the kids to bed and go to the cinema etc. I've already met his brother and his missus too.

2. Never met this guy, although he has been contacting me on facebook and via text since last year. We share very similar interests and both share a love of the outdoors, rugby and various other things. I'm not entirely sure how old he is, but he's very mature for his age and doesn't get easily wound up unlike the other one. Problem is he lives 150 miles away and is at least a two hour drive, compared to the other who is only 10 minutes away. We both used to play rugby (he was semi-professional, I've only ever played for my local team), love real ale and are passionate about food, etc etc. He's more financially secure and has his own house compared to the other one who borrows his ex wife's house to look after his daughters. He was brought up in the country like myself, and understands the law of the land whereas the other is a Londoner through and through. He texts a lot and I've only spoken to him twice but a lot of the time, its more about getting in my knickers rather than anything else.

Neither of these men know about each other, and if I appreciate what everyone thinks. I'm not trying to have my cake and eat it, because I know I'll have to choose one over the other. So people who gets the vote.


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  • In #2's paragraph you were saying negative things about #1, "...compared to the other one who borrows his ex wife's house to look after his daughters. "

    My guess is your liking #2 more.

    I hope #1's ex wife isn't drama for you.

    In #1's in the middle of the paragraph you said "but". 'But' in the middle of a paragraph means you have reservations about him (#1).

    • I have reservations about the pair of them. 1's relationship with his ex wife does annoy me as she uses him as a free babysitter whenever she feels like it. However he is local, I see a lot of him and I do really like compared to 2 who I haven't met and lives miles away.

    • You said it, "...I do really like compared to 2". #1 is the winner :)