Why is a date such a big issue?

Is a date a huge issue?

It seems like when I ask out a woman for something simple like coffee or mini golf, they treat it as though I've asked them to marry me...

I see a date as something where you want to get to know your crush. The person who asks out pays for something simple, and fun, and you get to know whether or not you'd like too continue seeing your "crush" or if you choose not to. Depending on the situation, you probably dress nicer and try to look nice for the date... but to me, that's about it. Be polite, spend some time, hopefully have some fun...

But a lot of women seem to run away, and or start silent treatment. It feels to me that I've somehow offended them. I probably wouldn't get as weird a look as I've gotten if I mentioned I was pregnant with alien baby goo.

It even seems like this happens when I invite women to hang out ( like a pre date), or even when I'm not interested and it's completely platonic.

Half the time I don't even mention the "d word" the first time I invite them out, just in case it's the "date concept" that freaks people out...

There have only been a select few cases where the woman is ok with spending (non date) time with me; where she doesn't completely freak out or get angry and offended when I asked her to hang out or go out on a date. I can think of maybe 4 women in total, two whom I've been set up with or dated, and two being actually platonic friends.

Is a date really a big issue, (or even a simple invite) and why would it be something offensive if a guy you're not interested in asks you out?

Ok, if he were a jerk about it, then yeah, but if you ladies get respect the whole time...

Personally, I'd be flattered if a woman told me I was cute, or asked me out, even if I wouldn't be interested in dating her.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think that one of the problems about the dating world (or lack there of it I should say) is that people don't seem to date a whole lot any more. It seems like people just jump into committed relationships instead of actually dating the person first.

    So yeah I do think it's true that women freak out a bit when guys actually ask them out, because it really doesn't happen very often. And also, women can also be kinda wary of the guy because especially if you don't know him, you don't know what his intentions are.

    I think it's smart of you to stay away from the term "date", but I think you should really keep asking to hang out and such. Just don't come on too strong, keep it casual, maybe suggest to come out with a group of friends, tell her that she can bring a couple of hers as well. That way it's not too stressful for anyone.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Well on the opposite end I may be a "freak out" type because I've done that before. It depends on a lot of things could be the reason like low self esteem. Also most females over the age of 20 are looking for more commited relationships and see 'dating' as a waste of time if they know up front that maybe you're not looking for anything but a 'date'. If this answers your question- let me know.

  • Okay, if they get really excited to go on a date with you, it's totally normal. Girls are like that, trust me! My first boyfriend was so exciting and I overreacted, I think. It's totally normal and you should be flattered.

    • ok, but they don't get excited in a good way. They freak out in a bad way, and will treat the whole issue as (what seems to me, anyway) like the biggest most offensive thing in the world.

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