Sounds nuts, but could a stalker hire a private investigator to find out more about you?

Lately, myself and some friends close to me have noticed that 2 work colleagues seem to have an unhealthy obsession with me.

Largely I keep myself to myself, and only engage in polite conversation with both males - as I do with everyone else. However, one of the guys has now attempted to make physical contact with me but touching my hand, when I was sitting eating lunch one day. I was sitting myself and he came to chat to me and touched my hand when he was conversing with me. So I decided to avoid him. Then a few days ago, he was seen spying on me from through a book shelf while pretending to place books on the shelf. As soon as I noticed he was crouched down there looking at me, I removed myself from the area. My friend told me he was then running around looking for me.

As for the other guy, he manages personal items that are ordered into our work place. The items should be placed on a reservation shelf for us to pick up - but he actually keeps my items so that I have to actually approach him to pick them up. He also makes comments when I try to collect resources from other collection points - insisting that I should be picking items up form his collection point. It’s getting tedious to be honest. And others are noticing.

Then, the other night I was approached by an odd guy dressed in a suit who started inquiring about my hobbies, personal life and romantic life. He was waiting to catch the same train as me and smiled when he saw me. He then approached me and said ‘sorry I hope you don’t mind me approaching you, but you look quite cute’ I just said thanks but felt quite awkward. He then sat with me for the 20 min train journey home, but never actually asked my name - which is weird. I feel as if he already knew my name and was looking specifically for me to get details. I’m inclined to believe he was hired to approach me by one of those 2 males. It was a seriously odd encounter.
  • This definitely sounds weird.
    Vote A
  • I don’t think you’re being stalked
    Vote B
  • I think one of those guys hired that personal investigator to find out more about you
    Vote C
  • It’s difficult to tell
    Vote D
  • Other
    Vote E
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

0|0
39

Most Helpful Guy

  • Dismiss the suit. Having worked with PI's, never seen one wear a suit. They dress in a 'gray fashion'. In other words, they dress to blend in. To go unnoticed. Just a guy flirting with you and making conversation.

    Could they hire a PI, absolutely. Are they behaving unusually? Well, juvenile, definitely. Creepy too? Yeah. Social skills are a dying art. It is bothering. Speak with your supervisor for them to at least see if they see it too. At which point, HR may have to step in. However, if stocking is going on, proceed with caution as those sorts can be quite unstable. Avoid being alone whenever possible.

    1|1
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • You can't rule it out. Investigators do whatever someone pays them to do as it's a job to them. They don't always look at the legal end of it all. Maybe you need to talk to your boss about these guys harassing you, although you can't really call it harassment from a sexual standpoint, but more in a makes you uncomfortable type.

    1|0
    0|0
    • I know 🙄. And exactly! It’s not sexual harassment, but at the same time, it’s very annoying. And it really does make me uncomfortable.

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls & Guys Said

28
  • What would be the motive of the two co-workers to hire a private investigator?

    1|0
    0|0
    • Perhaps my extreme privacy? Finding out how to pursue me/ if I have a boyfriend?

    • Show All
    • Would your work supervisor be helpful if you discussed this situation with him or her?

    • It’s kinda a tricky situation. And I also don’t want to draw attention to myself or to them because I fear it’ll make my life more difficult 🙄. All I can do is try my best to avoid.

  • Private investigators are expensive and beyond the means of most people. So you can stop worrying about that. I suggest you take notes of the two idiots behaviour: when, where, what. Each incident may not be much by itself but taken as a whole may be enough to get some action taken by your employer. Touching is totally not ok and if it's trustedit's reasonable for you to tell him that it is unwelcome and not to do it again. Don't worry if there are other people present. Tell him anyway.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Ok thank you. It just took me by surprise when it happened and I felt so uncomfortable I wasn’t sure what to do 🙄.

  • Lol, you were just having a conversation with a stranger. What purpose would there be for an investigation?

    A) stop being paranoid.
    B) if you have problem with these men, you should just tell them straight up.
    (that's how you stop nonsense).

    1|0
    0|0
    • Thanks. Just scared about the second part. I’ve read stalkerish people can get worse if you ask them to stop 🙄

    • Better to nip it in the bud than let something affecting your mind continue.

  • COULD they hire a PI? Definitely. Is it likely that they did? Not too likely, considering the expense likely to be involved. That said, please be extra careful, but not paranoid.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Those two guys seem infatuated with you. You must look hot and beautiful to them. Im sorry they are stalking you. I would try to avoid them at all possible to.

    0|0
    0|0
  • If they are creating a hostile work environment for you, then you should report it to your supervisor.

    0|0
    0|0
    • It’s not quite as easy as that. Both guys are older than me for a start

    • Didn't realize that you didn't live in the US. Here it wouldn't matter on the age or seniority
      difference. Good luck!

  • Yeah. That’s called a hired gun

    0|0
    0|0
  • Not possible. They will fail.

    0|0
    0|0
    • What’s not possible exactly?

    • Show All
    • Hmm , lets think. In my workplace I haven't seen anyone who is like stalking or staring at me. So I don't think so.

    • Well maybe for you... but myself and others have noticed something weird in mine

  • it is possible but unlikely...

    0|0
    0|0
  • Hiring PI just to find out if your are single? Highly unlikely, unless they are rich. That stuff is expensive

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...