Why do some people get butthurt seeing an older guy dating a younger woman?

What's wrong with and older man and younger woman
What's wrong with and older man and younger woman

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Most Helpful Guys

  • It has to with 'Sexual Market VAlue' - SMV.

    Younger guys (20 to 25) are often not as well established as older guys (35 to 40). Older guys have a higher SMV because of their life experiences and general assets. Its not all about money, but a 35 year old guy generally is making more then a 25 year old guy, AND he has been earning money for a longer period of time, so he has more assets (car, houses, boats (maybe..)) plus often have paid of their student loans. These are pluses for women who are dating to find a partner to either make a family with (or to divorce in a few years).

    Most younger guys, they have lower paying jobs because they don't have as much work experience to be getting paid a higher rate. Younger guys are also less likely to own a home and have their general "shit together" until their mid thirties.

    Women hit a wall when their sexuality declines. Between 25-30 is about the peak age for women in terms of ability to produce a child, after that age they can produce them but it is biologically more difficult. For women they also know that that age range is their peak for dating potential. That is also when they physically are the most attractive. Compare pictures of women when they are 22 to 32, they may still be good looking at 32, but 10 years ago it wasn't even a close contest, plus in the mid to late 30s they genrally go downhill, as opposed when they were 22, they will still keep their looks for another 10 to 15 years.

    If a guy takes care of himself in terms of a healthy lifestyle, he can produce into his late 40s and even early 50s. Women do not have this ability. Women are just as attractive to looks, but if a guy can work out, eat right, and not smoke they can often become even more attractive as they age and build their body strength.

    These are reasons why women want to be building a family before they turn 30. Whereas for guys they mostly want to create a family when they are a bit older have have stronger foundations around them (ie; no more student loans and living with their parents still) vs having their own place, a good paying job, AND no more debt.

    Women WANT to be with men who have the best ability to provide for them. Sure youthful looks help the younger crowd, but ask a woman at the age of 25-30 if she wants to be with younger guys who does not have the finances/ability to support a family, vs. a 35 year old guy who has a home and is more mature and wanting a family? Most women date up because of this.

    I don't get butt-hurt about older guys dating younger girls, I plan on paying this game well. Right now I'm mainly sleeping around/hooking up with little to no interest in creating a family. In another 5 to 10 years when I'm in my own place I'll start looking for women in that age gap for building a family..

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  • Women bitch and moan. When they were 18-24 all the men wanted them and us guys had to put in some work. Now in our 30s its the opposite. We are the hot ones on the scene and their time is up. So they are very salty.

    I am 32 and have not dated anyone older than 24 in the past 3 years of being mostly single. Nor will I, 24 is hard limit for me.

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    • What if you get in a serious committed relationship with a 23 year old one day, marries her, everybody will get old one day.

    • @Cestmoiouicestmoi1 i dont care that she gets old. Its about dating someone starting at their earlier years. I honestly think women are hotter when they get around 30. But not if i wasn't with them for the last decade.

    • I second that. I wouldn't leave a woman as long as she chose me during her prime (age 19-21) because then I know she really respects me

Most Helpful Girls

  • It's not about being butthurt, but the concern and welfare for the girl and his intentions as a man with her. 9/10x it's about sex and resources, not love. They often don't last, and it's usually a parent/child relationship. And what makes it worse, is not done because of Love they do it because of preference and because they want to avoid women their own age. I find it to be highly discriminatory, towards men who are younger that are or can be of the same experience level as a girl, as is discrimination against women who are on the same experience level as these men with these men basically want the younger women for sex. In other words each party is tired of men or women of their own age bracket.

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    • These relationships are often predatory as well as premeditated on both ends. I noticed to be true because I had a few encounters we're older men that I knew were in my father's age trying to holler and cat call at me and I'm highly disgusted. And this did not happen once this happened a few times of me growing up. I even remember seeing some of my dad's co-workers trying to holla at me to as a young adult and teenager. Every time I try to tell my father this he never believed me.

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    • And lastly, I prefer younger women (18-21) for the following reason

      1) They haven't been drilled by many guys yet and are usually more playfull and fun since they haven't been in failed relationships and therefore carry less baggage
      2) They look better
      3) They won't rush you into marriage and kids
      4) A woman respects you the most when she chooses you during her prime (18-21). Not when she's 30, has bent over for lots of guys, and is in a rush to have a baby

    • Asker, you people that promote this nonsense are out of your minds. My judgment regarding that area still stands. People just want sex and that's it. All the things that you listed shows that you are extremely selfish and very rude. I have no respect for such things like that. The women are you describing are only like that because you men promoted and you do what you want. They didn't ask to be in that position. But since you guys don't want to do what you need to do then you get mad and pissed at the woman for what she wants and desires. Their only unstable because of your choices. Stop being a hypocrite.

  • It symbolizes a lack depth in him. Not that it’s true in all cases but when you see two people who grow old together you can sense a connection of their souls because looks or youth aren’t in the equation but rather a bond between two human spirits that are accepting of each other’s flaws and committed to the journey together. Most people who spend time with people of a younger generation usually quickly pick up on their immaturity so at first glance it’s hard to accept that this older man and youger female are kindred spirits, it more just says I’m a douche who chases flesh and values external stimulation over eternal bonds

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    • I think very, very, very few relationships are two people coming together just based on personality and connection where looks and money is not involved.
      My line of reasoning is that woman are very shallow towards men for being short, being bald, being skinny, being hairy etc. so it should be perfectly fine and fair for men to be shallow against women based on age and other things

    • I can’t imagine the passionate and spiritual connection between a 23 yo millennial Instagram blogger and a 50 yo divorced workaholic.

      Obviously that’s a generalization and not fair to say but it’s to point out the frequent truth that generation gaps can make true intimacy challenging. When’s the last time you hung out with someone 10 years younger than you?

      On a side note I don’t think older woman necessarily get jealous of younger girls because they know their youth is fleeting. They may have nostalgia for the past, but they are wise woman and just see a naïveté girl

    • My point is that a relationship between a 20 yo blogger and a 50 yo workaholic is as real as a relationship between a 20yo blogger and another 20 yo blogger. Its based on money, looks or a combination of both.
      You can just ask the 20yo blogger if her boyfriend, that she claims to love so much, was short and balding, would she still be with him and proudly share the couple moments on the social media.
      Like I said, very, very, very few relationships are based on personality to the point where looks and money do not matter.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Don't know, because women are always saying they like older men. makes no sense at all. Probably jealous that it's not them. I don't know.

    I don't see myself dating a younger woman, because I'm not even 30 so for a woman to be much younger, she would have to be fresh out of high school.

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  • For some reason some younger women in their early 20's really do go for older guys in their 30's.
    They love the maturity.
    I've experienced it, she approached me. I guess some older women don't like that?
    Even though I usually go for women my own age.

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  • I have friends with attractive daughters, but they are 21 and 22. Sure they are fun and whatnot, but two different worlds we come from so I could not imagine clicking in a romantic context. However, in an older end of the spectrum I have dated 28 and 29 year olds and meshed remarkably well. Frankly, I seem to gel beat with the 28 to 33 year old crowd (yes there are some outside the range too - but far and few). I think where you are in life impacts what makes couples work... Dating another 44 year old is in a lot of ways like dating someone my late Grandmother's age because many have grandkids and sometimes crazy enough, great grand kids... and me, with no children, I cannot relate to that. Dating older women, which I also seem to draw in, they are either retired or on the cusp of retirement. Again, simply not relatable. My family being long lived (reaching a 100 is not uncommon from both sides) there is a likelihood I would still outlive someone 10 or 15 years my junior. Which is strange to think of really. Especially when talking with some women who's family routinely passes in their 60's and 70's. Something I think about...

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  • Because people are small minded and want to exclude their dating group even further. I never understood it either, people that have age or racial biases.. there’s already so much stuff to eliminate before dating someone, why make it harder on yourself by specifically dating only a certain age group?

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  • I don’t really care, but I would think that part of it is the fact that he is likely to die far earlier than her. If they get serious, they’re essentially setting her up to be a widow.

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  • I don't get butt hurt. Sometimes I find it very strange and concerning in certain situations. I know one girl I went school with who's had a baby with a man in his late 30s and he got her pregnant when she was 19. I find that kinda of disturbing personally. What would a man in his late 30s get from dating a teenager.

    I also see a young Asian girl walking around with a elderly man. At first I assumed he was a her dad but then I saw him kiss her and it was very uncomfortable for me to see.

    I think there should definitely be a age limit people should go for. I find it very weird when men over the age of 35 are dating girls aged 19 to 20. How can they both have things in common, how do they mix with their friends, how can they be compatible?

    I myself prefer older men but I'd only allow myself to date a guy no older than 28 otherwise I don't see how things could work between us.

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    • I'm 27 and prefer women between 18-21. You ask why a man would prefer a younger woman. I'll give you three reasons.

      1) They're more fun, playful and not bitter from lots of failed relationships
      2) They look better
      3) They won't rush you into marriage and kids. They're simply more chill

    • I see what you mean but there's also a lot of negatives and you can always find a girl around a similar age who wants the same as you or I'm not saying settle down and conform but maybe you could start thinking what you really want from life and when you want it, simply try to muture a little in the least offence way I can but it.

      Looks don't last forever and one day them young girls will become muture woman as well and what you gonna do replace them by time their 30? and your like 50/60 years old, I'm sorry but I don't see that as realistic. We all have to grow old one day.

    • I wouldn't leave a girl under the condition that she chose me when she was in her prime, 18-21. And not in her 30s when she has slept with many guys, been used multiple times and lost her innocence, playfulness and now is in a rush to find a guy to quickly settle with.
      If a girl chooses me during her prime then I know she really respects me as a man and I'll return that respect by not leaving her side and being loyal.

  • Because their lives are so pathetic they want to lash out at anyone who's doing better than they are. If a young guy can't get laid, imagine how they feel seeing an old guy with a hot young girl.

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  • They just assume that if the woman is attractive and young that they are only dating the man for his money. In some cases this is true but in other cases it is not. Some women prefer older men. My brother in law is 26/27 and dates chicks that are 18/21 year olds. Personal preference really. Age is but a number ( once you are of age based on laws in different states ) you can fall in love with old souls or young souls. It’s mainly a social norm thing , what may seem normal to one individual may also be odd to another 🤷🏻‍♀️

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  • Because either they can't pull it off or are jealous they weren't selected.

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  • The better question is: why did butthurt even become a phrase?

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  • Cause some Young guys get frustrated easily about the fact that most older men have more to offer to a young chick.

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  • I have not seen this, however it does not bother me as I prefer older women...

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  • If you get butthurt then that's you mofo probs honey. Older guys are sexy af

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  • I've never met the billionaire old guy with the young hoes but I know they exist.

    The only types I've seen in person were just creepy old guys. To be fair, the girls were kinda.. Left overs... Spares? Not suitable for wear...

    The guys were all weird, gross, predatory jack assses.. But, one of the exceptions is when the girl just ain't finding anything better.

    There could be millions of creepy or weird things about it. But that depends on how you see the age difference too. My standards drop to pretty much nothing after each person is a certain age.

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    • What do u mean by their “standards drop to nothing after a certain age”?

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    • Oh I get it. Age diminishes over time.

    • Not the point... 99yrs old is a very high number. It's tantamount to the meaning of what I am conveying.

  • It's not fair, they had their chance when they were younger, it's hard enough if you're an unattractive dude but now you gotta compete with old dudes who got nice cars and money too.

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  • I sure hope no one gets jealous over this kind of stuff. To each their own!

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  • Look, when an 18 year old girl is marrying a 77 year old man, how could they NOT be anticipating the future?

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  • Why can’t old people just be with their own age? Gosh. If I’m old then I’ll only find old guys.

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    • Why can't short girls just date short guys?
      You are not obligated to date someone just like yourself

    • Yes you do. Find an old girl.

    • Nope I don't. I'll date whoever I want, don't care if it makes pisses off some bitter feminists

  • Because some "women" and I use that term as loose as they are, are jealous cunts

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  • I've never seen a single person get "butthurt" about it. Or maybe I don't get what you mean by that.

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  • Cuz women enjoy it when they are younger but bitch about it as they get older and less attractive

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  • it's normal. It's only weird if the age gap is huge

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  • old men are ugly and wrinkled

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    • So? Why does seeing an ugly person dating an attractive person get people all whiny? There are same-age couples like this too.

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    • Then you should dislike pretty much all guys.
      Because whenever a guy, regardless of his age, ethnicity, race, status etc. dates a young, attractive girl he dates her primarily because of her looks.

    • Yeees I don't like almost all men. I like men who are separated from the majority. distinguishing people from animals is the ability to control themselves this shows that they are far from primitive.

  • Lol it is just obvious she is using him for money

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    • And he's using her for sex, tf is your point. Most couples are using each other one way or another. There are very, very few couples that are all about personality, connection and money and looks are not involved.

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    • You thinking is weird is useless since there is NOTHING you can do about it. I think pineapple on pizza is weird af, it won't make people stop eating it. I can't report it, I can't go to restaurants and scream in people's ears. All there is left is to bitch and whine and that won't change anything.

    • No I already do I don’t care lmao you getting rejected is just gonna make me happy 😁 weird ass man

  • You want us to explain envy to you?

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  • I don't know, jealousy maybe.

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  • Jealousy most likely

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  • jealousy

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  • Define what is butthurt?

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    • Shaming the man, as if he's obligated to date woman his own age

    • If you allow judgement from others to affect you, then it's your fault. Live your life.

  • Why would they get butthurt?

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  • I knew when I was 18 but i can't remember.

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  • I don't know because I LOVE that.

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  • she's likely gold digging

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  • you really think 18-21yr olds haven't been with many guys nowadays? lmao they're just as used up

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  • Men have been dating, marrying and procreating with younger women for all of human history. Just as long she is a legal adult than there shouldn’t be a problem with it.

    But feminism is what started all fuss and creep shaming about this. It’s usually bitter, overweight and unattractive middle aged women who get all pissed off. Ironically many of them might have been pretty when they were younger. That gave them a lot of power and favors in society. Than they got older and got less and less attention. Since some of them never had to develop their personalities all of the sudden when their strongest social asset (looks) are gone. They get more vocal, angry and bitchy to compensate for it.

    Many of these older guys got screwed over and friendzoned in their youth. But the ones that stuck it out with their careers, keeping themselves in shape and not ruining their lives with alcohol/drug abuse ultimately got rewarded for being “nice guys”. Many young women enjoy and seek out respectful and mature older guys. Especially the ones that aged well.

    So despite all this “cougar” crap (not that common in reality) it’s older guys who got their delayed benefits. Cry misogyny all you want but I’ll take it.

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  • I am 21 and my husband is 38. I never experienced anybody who had a problem.

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  • I think it’s because people just don’t understand it an that’s why they don’t like seeing it. I feel like if the woman is of age and isn’t getting abuse. It shouldn’t matter.

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  • It seems very disgusting because usually guys are the ones who likes little girls.

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