Would you CHEAT on your partner if you found out they were cheating?

Would you CHEAT on your partner if you found out they were cheating?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Nope. Why would I? Usually, there's not a line up of amazing boyfriend material guys waiting for my boyfriend to cheat on me so I can be with them. Usually... it's just a bunch of horny guys who want a one night stand OR deadbeat guys who are kinda lame. AKA peeps who don't meet my standards. If I sleep with them, I am degrading myself so thanks, but no thanks. The only thing I like to do after a break up is to make my ex look like an idiot for leaving me. And well, all of this is actually happening in real life. He "cheated on me" (technically we got in a fight and he revenge fucked other girls) with #1 Some chubby chick he met at a party and he made out with her and fingered her in my friend's car while she was driving, AND THEN he got with some pink hair emo chick who I haven't heard good things about. And I don't know why he thought those girls would ever make me jealous, but they really don't affect me at all. And here's me; skateboarding, laughing, making new friends, drawing amazing art that he walks by my table and sees every day, etc. I'm honestly flexing on him so hard. And people say bad things about him and diss him for doing drugs every night. 200% guarantee he's probably called me a bitch, needy, clingy, annoying, etc around his friends. But umm they all see what I'm doing and yeah it doesn't match up with how bad he makes me look. So now, he probably looks like an idiot. But he's not worried since he'll just fuck the next girl in line. But I've got some standards so yeah. He's the first guy I've been with and my first kiss. That's about it, I never slept with him since it was still early in the relationship. But it's been 3 months since talking and I haven't gotten with anyone. No one catches my eye, and I'm chill with that. There's no rush.

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  • No, but I would have a sit down with him and tell him exactly what I think and feel. The thing about love and when you love someone unconditionally is that you want them to be happy even if it’s not with you. Then I’d ask for a divorce and allow him to go seek for his happiness.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • It is said that "Revenge is a dish, best served cold". The problem these days is, if you look all across the internet, people are using the term "Cheating", even if the S/O is in the same room or same bed where the supposed act is taking place. If debts and finances are such that we can't afford to separate, then I'm not going to stay home like "Joe Sausage Head", while she continues to live an alternate life outside the home. Afterall she owes her half if the bills, I'm not paying it for her. So yeah, I'd go out and make my ownself happy whether it's just company with clean convo or more saucier action.

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  • If you get down to wrestle with pigs, you get up covered with mud.

    How can I condemn her cheating behavior if I am going to do the same thing. If it's wrong when she does it, then it's wrong when I do it.

    If you don't like her cheating, "punishing" her by cheating on her won't change anything, and it involves a potentially entirely innocent third party. Horribly bad idea!

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • No. I would break up, but two wrongs don't make a right.

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  • It better i leave the relationship, than to cheat because they're cheating.

    Maybe God wants to punish him with STD, who are my to interfere with the plans of God

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  • No, I'd leave them.

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  • No. The relationship would be over if he cheated.

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  • two wrongs don't make a right. I'm out. he can cheat alone

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  • Nah, I'd just kick her cheating ass to the curb.

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  • No because then you are just as bad as them

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  • No. I would dump them.

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  • I'd never date anyone to start with, specially because I'd probably be the one cheating.
    But if I ever date and the person cheata, I'd cheat for sure. I could even try to find out who is the person my partner chose and try to seduce that person if possible.

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  • My reaction would depend upon the depth and duration of the relationship and if we were sharing a flat etc.
    If it was a casual relationship and it was a one off I would not be over excited about it, but disappointed.

    If it was a serious relationship (them living with me) and more than a one off I’d be getting set to Walk Away – I’d owe them nothing, no explanation, no forwarding address, back up the evidence I’d found, explain to friends just before I’d leave, then kill my social media accounts and phone number, then leave - leaving no trace where I’d have gone.

    I’d feel I was being used as a ‘safe harbour’ while they are playing the field, it will be a shock when they suddenly realises they are homeless as I’ve been paying the rent and living expenses, if possible I’d arrange leave just before the rent is due and remove my furniture leaving her belongings behind (if there's doubt about any furniture I’d leave it behind) on the day I leave, this might sound petty but it is hammering home the point.

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  • No, i will break up with them. Loyalty is of the biggest importance for me so if they have violated my trust, i wouldn't tolerate the behaviour. Cheating for revenge is just childish. The best "revenge" you can do is focus on yourself, be happy and healthy and level up.

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  • I've recently converted to Buddhism and I would no longer do that. According to the Buddha "Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you're the one who gets burned."
    So I would simply leave the person and move on. Getting revenge would only hurt myself.

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  • No! Just because they're unfaithful doesn't give you a reason to sink to their level. Someone has to be the better person in the relationship: don't give them any reason to justify being an ass or a cheater!

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  • Revenge is blind they said. If I had to, being pushed to the walls with no way out, then I'd consider doing that.

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  • No id catch their ass in the act, tell them its over and go the fuck off. And if the third person knew about me... haha they'd be toast. Id probably go to jail.

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  • I would just break it off then go sleep with someone as to not sink to that level. you know the level of , two timing philandering cheating scumbag of a manwhore.

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  • At this point in my life I have a different mindset on cheating. In my thoughts, relationship is done if someone cheats. Depending how everything went down I would be irrate more than likely. If an opportunity were to arise where passionate angry sex was available that would be for me to have as a stress reliever not revenge.

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  • No. That’s far too petty.

    I think the only reason someone would react that way was that they never had a period of their life where opportunities for sexual encounters were abundant.

    The novelty wears off and then it becomes about mutual bonds. If someone cheats, they undermine that bond.

    If the bond is undermined there’s not a whole lot else. No need to cheat back, that wouldn’t be important.

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  • Why let a cheater make you a cheater? I would say we are done and move on. There would not be a second chance. Cheating is a conscience decision and there is no excuse. You can't blame the person your partner cheated with. If your partner didn't make the decision to cheat, the other person couldn't do anything.

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  • No, I'd leave. Once they break the trust, the relationship would never be the same. Plus, becoming a bad person myself by cheating wouldn't fix things, and it would make things worse for any possible future relationships too. Someone's past matters because it reflects on their morals.

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  • Hell no!! What type immature shit is that!! I’d break up with him and block his number and every other social media we’re linked on.
    I ain’t about to waste my time on someone who is undeserving of my love.
    “Thank you, next” ✌️

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  • No.. What is even the point of doing that? I'd be way too hurt to even think about sleeping with someone else. I'd just cry and then leave him lol

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  • Why lower yourself to their level, a cheater. You are so much more better than that. Leave, and try to heal. A revenge cannot change nor improve anything.

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  • No, not my thing. But my opinion is that “revenge cheating” is totally justified and they should not be held accountable or face any consequences. The initial cheater is the problem.

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  • No, but I’d leave them immediately. Cheating is never acceptable under any circumstance even if they are. But once out of the relationship I’d be free to pursue someone else on a real level with a chance for a better more respectful relationship.

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  • Here's the thing. When cheating happens in a relationship, it's a symptom of a deeper underlying issue. Could be incompatibility on an emotional or physical level, could be a subconscious way of grabbing your actual partner's attention, could be actual desire for a quality the cheating partner sees in the person they are cheating with.

    Either way, there is some sort of need on an emotional or physical level that is being met by cheating; A need, that if expressed in the relationship, was likely either downplayed, denied, or perhaps the cheater was too afraid to express that need in the first place and as a result tried to downplay or deny the need's existence within themselves.

    Honestly, a lot of people who cheat on their partner do so because at one time that physical or emotional need WAS met by their partner, but after the honeymoon phase was over, it slowly began to fade away. So the person who decides to cheat feels betrayed in some way when that need stops being met, and unless they are conscious of this, will seek it out in the first person who appears to meet this need of theirs. This is compounded if neither partner is aware of what need it was that was being met originally that stopped being met.

    A person who decides to cheat as a result of their partner cheating is also getting a need met by cheating; it's threatening on a very primal level if your spouse finds another partner, and anyone would feel insecure at even the thought of this.

    Some people revenge cheat with the subconscious hope that the cheating partner will recognize their mating value (to flesh it out in really boring biological terms) and pick up slack (meet their physical or emotional need). It also makes a person's mating value go up by introducing competition (again, really black-and-white biological terms).

    Really, leaving the cheating partner accomplishes the same thing; People who would leave their partner if they cheated would obviously be back on the dating market again, and the prospect of someone else being their mate is obviously open, but it is also a clear rejection of the cheating partner, and in its essence, a rejection of cheating and betrayal itself.

    This is all being really black and white about the whole thing, and ignores the whole spectrum of actual emotion that takes place when a partner cheats.

    At its core a person's self worth is put into question and feelings of being unwanted come up, causing a deep seated sense of shame. These have their basis in our childhood (as we are socialized in a society that uses punishment and creating a feeling of shame of who we are to control unwanted behavior). It's ultimately this meaning (that we are unloveable or unwanted) that we draw from the action of 'cheating' that is where most of the pain arises as a result of being cheated on.

    Everyone would feel bad about themselves if they told themselves there is something irreversibly wrong with them when a partner cheated on them, instead of recognizing it as a simple incompatibility.

    For some people, cheating back on their partner gives them a much-needed boost of self-worth, which will temporarily alleviate the sense of shame felt.

    However, a real secure, lasting sense of self-worth is created organically from within. It transcends what our oftentimes messy human relationships reflect back at us, but that's not to say the two don't intersect at times, either...

    Both actions are a way of building up this sense of self-worth that is put massively into question when we are betrayed through cheating.

    A person who chooses to leave the partner is on some level recognizing the need to develop their own self worth. They likely recognize that any partner sought out by 'revenge cheating' (if it is a fling like most have suggested) will be seeing a unifaceted reflection of who they are, but who they are at their core may not be anything like the reflection being shown to the person they would be revenge cheating with.

    Either way, we cope.

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  • no no no no no... 2 wrongs doenst make a right.
    i am not sure if i can say my partners ever cheated on me... not trying to make excuses...
    but if they cheat on me.. i will not do so... i dont have it in me to do such thing.

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  • Huh... difficult to predict. I find cheating awful so I would defenitly dump them but at the same time I'm not sure that, with them not knowing that I know, I wouldn't cheat on them just to get back at them. As in, would cheat and then tell them and break everything off. But at same time, it's not in my moral code to cheat.

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  • No, I'd dump them then probably have sex with someone afterwards.

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    • Oh well that is probably the best way to do it... still sounds like revenge though?

    • Not really after i broke up the time in which i start being sexually active after that does not matter either one day ir two months especially if you are trying to get over a cheater.

  • What's would it bring to u?
    Just leave her/him and you'll found more peace than in revenge. Next time you'll fuck someone you should do it for yourself and not for her/him. Good luck for your future choices I know you'll pass trough hard time!
    PS: if she/he did it it's because he/she wanted too. It doesn't depends on you but on their own needs. Cheating isn't obligatory = He/she don't love me anymore. Ask your partner "why?"

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  • I’d break up with them and move on. One thing I can’t and won’t accept in a relationship is cheating. I’ve seen it happen and dealt with it to many times.

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  • No bc if my future boyfriend asks me have you ever cheated I’d have to say yes I have or lie. both will make me doubt my character so why not Just leave

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  • Isn’t it just better to leave than getting a petty revenge that wouldn’t change anything and it would just make you the same as them.

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  • Nope. I would never stoop to that level. If he wants to cheat on me then that’s fine. Just don’t expect me to stick around. I will find someone who deserves me.

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  • Although I am absolutely a young and inexperienced person, I hold myself to a very high set of moral standard when going about everyday life. No cheating in college, no stealing, no drugs or alcohol, no promiscuity, etc.

    Although I have never been in a relationship before, I would absolutely never cheat, despite the circumstances. I would never be able to live with the guilt and the regret; I would rather break up.

    So if I found my partner cheating on me, first of all, I would not accept it; second of all, I would break up with them immediately rather than cheat to get revenge. It seems like if I take the latter course of action, the relationship would become toxic, as it was doomed anyway if my partner cheated.

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  • Nah why be a lying traitor along with them while at the same time using other people as tools to hurt the cheating Other half. To me thts just spreading hurt around I'd rather leave & wash my hands of whoever cheated instead of putting yourself in a even more fucked up position. All tht said it def doesn't you shouldn't be mad

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  • I wouldn't technically be cheating because we wouldn't be together anymore but I would try to fuck one of her friends or at the very least some girl I chatted up somewhere. But let's be real, I don't have the skill to get with any girl I want so I'll probably just cry and break things.

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  • No, I wouldn't want to stoop down to their level because then what makes me any better than them? What good is it if there's going to be another cheater in the world? Just because they were a terrible person doesn't mean I have to be.

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  • no there's no point, it would just be hypocritical for you to talk shit and then go and do it, the harm is done and the action was done so not only is that person a cheater but you are too and yours was for vengance which makes you more immature than them and would make you look worse, just simply leave them and decide what you want to do from there

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  • No, it would unnecessarily complicate life for me. I would simply end the relationship with the cheating partner.

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  • I'd just leave.
    Cheating to get even is a lose lose. One of my friends girlfriend cheated on him to get his attention. So he cheated to get even. So she cheated again and so on and do forth. That drug on for several years. Pointless. Just leave their worthless ass.

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  • I had a girl who thought i cheated on her and she revenge cheated on me. But i never did shit. She was so destroyed when the truth came out and i dumped her and everyone in town thought she was shit.

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  • No! I would not cheat. I would confront them and them make it official to go in separate ways. It's more practical and guilt free

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  • No. Then I'd be as bad as the piece of scum they are.

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  • No I wouldn't cheat because they cheated. I think it’s silly to sink to that level especially if you’re on the receiving end and you know just how much that can hurt and mess with your head. I can see the appeal of it in a way I guess, “you hurt me and fucked with me head so let me give you a taste of your own medicine”, but in reality if someone cheated on you do they really care about you? So will they really care what you do? I don’t think I would lower myself to that sort of behavior just because they did it to me.
    It doesn’t make sense to me to use a third person to get back at someone that cheated on me because in the end who really ends up screwed over? The one that’s cheating for revenge because he/she has to live with that stupid choice and the innocent person that was used in your little game. Seriously not worth it. Just walk away and find someone who would do anything not to hurt you. That’s how I feel anyway. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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  • Depends, if I'm really pissed I'd do it just to be spiteful, face it we all get revengy from time to time, I most likely won't, I'd dump him and feel sorry for myself then move on 👍🏻

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  • no, that be so immature... basically it means hurting them because they hurt you... back to 1st grade! Or it means fair is fair, if you cheat I can too, and what is that?

    if dating, that's probably the end... but I give caveats to see if there is some hope of change, but I doubt it... trust is blown, I don't want to live in a stress mess. it's a slap in the face. This is why I only date women who are stronger and confident. A weak (low self worth) girl could be taken by a talented player.

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  • No. I wouldn't become as pathetic and disgusting as them just to do what? If they've cheated on you they've proved you don't mean what you thought you did anyway. Just leave them and keep your class.

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  • Nope. I would rather walk out because now you just as bad as they are, they makes you look horrible. The person decided to do that of their own free will. I don't care how bad you are in the relationship. Or even in a marriage oh, you made the decision to be with that person, you should have thought about that before you got with them. This is why I chose to be celibate and by myself, because I'm not going to get involved with a person I cannot trust. It's bad enough a lot of people don't want to make an effort to keep a relationship nor their promises anymore.

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  • No, because I have dignity and I’m not going to lower myself because my partner did. (Ps. 2 wrongs don’t make a right. )

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