How do I stop putting women I’m attracted to on pedestals?

My mother had pretty extreme anger issues when I was growing up and almost anything could set her off. My father never told me this but I can tell he is afraid of her because he became a workaholic to avoid her as much as he could. I eventually found myself doing a similar appeasement tactic just by keeping a low profile and telling her only what she asks me to tell her and nothing else.

I can’t seem to stop this habit whenever I meet women especially the ones I crush on. I put them on a pedestal, shower them in gifts and hardly ever thought to establish boundaries all in an effort for them to erupt and/or leave me. Women I do this to who end up being my girlfriend eventually end up being just as reactive and I was too chicken shit to do anything about it.

I was taught to just let her belittle me on every mistake I make because I’m just a dirty dumb boy who cannot possibly make any woman happy so I just take the verbal punches. If I even tried to stand up to my mother she would get violent anyway.

I know this is a very stupid habit but I can’t help it. I want to have a no nonsense attitude and set up boundaries so that women can see me as someone who is confident and know that their BS won’t fly with me.
How do I stop putting women I’m attracted to on pedestals?
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