Do you base your search for a partner on personality, looks, intelligence, money, charm, or all the above?

Obviously looks has a lot to do with it because that is the first impression we have of someone.

But do you overlook other things you might see just because someone looks hot to you?

Maybe you care nothing about looks.

What else do you want in a partner then?

Should they be super smart or loaded with doe?

Share your selection criteria with us... PLEASE?
Do you base your search for a partner on personality, looks, intelligence, money, charm, or all the above?

Do you base your search for a partner on personality, looks, intelligence, money, charm, or all the above?
Do you base your search for a partner on personality, looks, intelligence, money, charm, or all the above?

Do you base your search for a partner on personality, looks, intelligence, money, charm, or all the above?
  • A. Looks is #1 for me, then I look for other things
    Vote A
  • B. Yes, I want a partner that looks good but there are more important things than that to consider
    Vote B
  • C. I prefer an intelligent partner the most
    Vote C
  • D. Personality is the key for me. I want someone that I can relate to and has the characteristics that I am looking for
    Vote D
  • E. Find me a partner with lots of money and I'll be happy for life!
    Vote E
  • G. I want it all! ... looks, money, intelligence, charm and pesonality!
    Vote F
  • H. OTHER, see my comments below, or just open the survey
    Vote G
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Guy

  • if possible I would want it all but that's asking for a lot I know.
    (not in any particular order)
    1. attractive enough too get my attention

    2. charm if she can win me over or at least show that they actually care

    3. personality if she stands out dosen't follow a crowd & we can relate on many levels then we're winning

    her smarts & money aren't as important too me. if she is a bit slow it's okay we all can learn so that doesn't change the way I would look at her. money is irrelevant but she does need ambition. There's a huge difference between struggling because of unfortunate circumstances but it's another too choose too be there.

    I could over look those last two if she's open minded enough too try new things, set achievable goals ,& is willing too learn (anything really it's more about seeing that motivation).

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I consider intelligence to be a part of personality. There have been several studies linking the two, or at least linking intelligence to the elements of personality that people actually come into contact with in others. The same goes for charm. So I'm going to say that I prioritize personality, but that it also includes such things as intelligence and charm.

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    • the looks is not important for you? are you lesbian?

    • @conchitina Haha. That's not exactly what I was going for. I prioritize things other than looks, but looks are still a thing that exists, and that I notice. But if it's relevant to you, I've never felt the need to label my sexuality. I have the belief that it's a spectrum. If I had to place myself on it, I'd say I'm somewhere between one end, which is completely heterosexual, and the very middle, which is completely bisexual. I don't know which one I'm closer to. But if you really want to know, I'm more likely to be attracted to men. But for all I know that could just be because our personalities tend to mesh better.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Looks are important to an extent, but looks get replaced in your mind by an "image" of their personality over time, so that is the critical thing.

    Things I look for:

    - a positive attitude, someone who will make the best of things and not let every little thing ruin their day.

    - strong morals and values, someone who isn't going to hurt or harm someone else to get ahead, or even "just because"

    - communication, someone who can handle the truth, even when it isn't pretty.

    - mental and emotional stability. I have known guys who have these super unstable girls who have several emotional breakdowns a week, and I have no idea why they put up with that. in my opinion, that person isn't mentally healthy enough to be in a relationship with anyone.

    - compatibility, someone who has compatible life goals and lifestyle.

    Of course, finding this in a girl who is single and has interest in me back is a challenge, which is why my last two long-term relationships were temporary from the start. We liked each other and had much in common but also had a major incompatibility that was unsolvable, but wasn't going to be a problem for a while.

    You gotta do what you gotta do.

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    • This is true looks draw us in personality keeps someone wanting you

  • While good looks are naturally important, they are not primarily what I am looking for in a person that I want to share my life with.

    The reason being is that good looks fade away with time, wrinkles replace that smooth skin, the six pack is making way for a beer belly and the firm, perky and proud tits with time slowly react to the forces of the attraction of the earth.

    The cocoon, the outer shell is ephemeral and time makes no exception.

    What I am really looking for in a potential partner is intellectual compatibility, a personality that matches my likes, a person that I can look up to for what he/she really is deep within.

    It would seem that it is much easier to find a person that is not physically perfect but it is way more difficult to find a person that has a matching character/personality.

    Now, I am perfectly OK with accepting the fact that this person is also good looking and has a little dough on the side BUT... I don't want to live in constant fear that some girl will take him away from me because in his eyes, I am not the perfect woman that he always wanted.

    Give in a little to get a lot in return sounds like a good compromise for a happy life.

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  • I don't [Search] for a partner to begin with.
    But personality is the most important factor.

    Why? because personality is everything. Life is based on personality not looks. Appearance and looks works in superficial and meaningless aspects of life which is a very small area. But the most internal values and important aspects of life occurs with personality.

    Our mind is life. Everything we do and we say, the way we behave, every memory and every language and culture we have invented, everything. It's coming from our mind. Every information we have recorded on our mind becomes the final outcome. Our personality is one of those outcomes. Which contains our Values, Principles, Perspectives, Outlooks, Believes and Beliefs. Basically, who we are as a person. Every action we pursuit is a fuel of these components which is coming from our mind and personality. Meaning, who we are as a person and what we do in our lives, the type of life we live and the legacy we leave behind, all of this is a result of the context of our personality and character. That is why personality is the most important factor. Because that is everything a human is about. Example, when you the hear the name Martin Luther King JR. The first impression people get is his legacy not looks. No one talks about if he was hot enough to be an activist. No one talks about if he was sexy enough to listen to. No one talks about if he was handsome enough. Everyone remembers his legacy. That legacy and success is built by the context of his personality and character, not looks and appearance.

    I don't care about money because money is not everything. You can get money eventually. Money comes and goes. It's nothing important. We have two type of happiness: Materialistic happiness and Spiritual happiness. We all feel such a hunger and greed for money but that only covers the materialistic satisfaction. Happiness is a state of mind, if you don't know how to be happy and obtain zero understanding of the true meaning of life, you can never be happy no matter how much money you have. Example, just check the list of rich successful people who committed suicide.

    I don't care about intelligence because everyone has it. Everyone are genius at a certain group of categories, and everyone are dumb at certain group of categories. It's hundred percent for everybody. Example, Albert Einstein. He was an utter genius in math and physics, but couldn't memorize numbers and never learnt how to drive.

    I don't care about looks again, because my eyes sees everyone beautiful. What i see is wonderful human beings with beautiful features unique to their own. Different sizes, shapes and coloring. Those differences are exciting and special. And when i truly love someone, every inch of them becomes perfection to my eyes. That's what true love does. True love is magical beyond superficiality.

    I don't search for love because you can't find love, you can't shop love, you can't force love. True love must find you. It just happens. And it's a pure innocent emotion free of prejudice who doesn't understand anything but love. It's a spiritual connection beyond measurements who doesn't care about height, weight, age or color. There are so many proof but the best i love to give you is to check Dr. Nash's love story and his famous quote on love in his speech before he receives his noble prize.

    I never looked for love even once in my entire life and i found it. It came to me like it supposed to. I am in relationship for eight years now. My only relationship. Fully happy and successful. 2012-Present.

    And i say good luck to those who search love. Because they never gonna find it and majority of them ends up bashing love and their opposite gender claiming that everyone are jerks and love doesn't exist.

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  • Not interested in money. The more he has, the less attractive he is to me. I'd rather him be a middle class blue collar worker (something about a man working with his hands...)

    Anyway, physical attraction is key and then his personality. I feel this is what most people want.

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  • All. He has to have a good personality. He has to be physically and sexually attractive to me. He has to understand basic academics at least. He has to be able support himself and pay bills on time most of the time. Charms are preferred but not a deal breaker.

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  • looking good doesn't usually mean I'll become interested in you.
    I get attracted to people in this order:
    1. how you make me feel when we're together
    2. talent/passions/intelligence in your area of interest
    3. protectiveness/care
    OR
    1. Talent
    2. Feeling
    3. Protectiveness/care

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  • I'm attracted to like-minded people.
    In short, I simply look for the person who matches me in as many views, beliefs and values as possible.

    That being said, a "like-minded" person *would be* intelligent, successful, fit and well kept, as striving for the better in all areas of one's life is one of my core beliefs that a potential partner would have to match me in.

    The least important trait to me is facial appearance, I have personally never been in a situation where it would be a factor.

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  • Frankly it just happened, but the things that struck me when I first me my girlfriend were her beauty and her intelligence.

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  • If I can program à SO to be the way I want, I will definitely wish that he will be all of the above lmao. If one thinks that being more beautiful, intelligent, successful or charming is not significant when it comes to desirability in a romantic partner, then one is either a deadbeat or a monk or a liar. I suspect that the majority are the third type.

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  • Well the only reason I'd want a girlfriend is so I can have regular access to sex. So just looks would keep me happy and she doesn't talk much... In fact don't even talk at all, just operate like a robot (yes, no answers and follow orders).

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    • So a sex doll?

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    • @laurieluvsit 'gay?'... just never but keep trying to shame me all you like. You actually probably wouldn't believe it but most guys think like me. Although the difference is they just hide behind 'nice guy personas' or maybe use 'player tactics' so they can get what they want.

      A final note, it's not that I can't get a girl as you put it, I just don't want a female. I just prefer to borrow/rent if you know what I mean because if it flies, floats and fucks.. never buy... always rent fellas!

    • Oh so you want to hook up. I get that. A lot of girls are into that now. I bet tinder has a lot of girls looking for easy sex like that.

  • Personality, Intelligence, and looks. In that order. Don't care for money, as long as he can financially support himself.

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  • If he has a college degree that's all that matters. Literally I could be the bread winner but at least he has goals and achieved those goals I would be content. He doesn't need to be a millionaire.

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  • I definitely want it all. and I would say that looks 10 to catch my eye first, but it's the personality that keeps my interest. And it's the heart that makes me go from interest to love

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  • I want a partner "loaded with doe" ? Yeah, maybe a few "bucks" too, deer !! LOL

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  • Personality is the key for me. I want someone that I can relate to and has the characteristics that I am looking for. :) <3

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  • The bitter truth is that whatever you want or not, you'll always crave for what you didn't get.

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  • What I don't see on your list is a sense of humor and caring & empathy.

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    • Those are lumped in with personality. There are many personality traits and hard to list them all :)

    • Yes, true. But for me, it is as important or more important than looks, intelligence, money or charm!

  • Personality and a sense of humour above all else. I can have amazing sex with someone but if they have no personality or sense of humour I think it would get boring really fast.

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  • All of the above apart from money, I don’t care about money.

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  • I have lot of red flag check points so it is quite easy to fail, but first I always assume that every girl is the one I'm looking for. First check point is the look.

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  • Has to not be stupid.

    Has to be SECURE with herself. She could be ugly, yet love herself and I will find her attractive based on this.

    Has to be good at heart, I will overlook her arsehole like behaviour if her heart is not bad.

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  • Personality is very important to me. Looks not so much. Me and my parents we are both avarage. He is smart and funny that draw me in. He has a good Job like me

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  • I’ve never deliberately searched for a partner they’ve just kinda shown up and I’ve accepted it

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  • Looks will get you attention, but it's really the personality and whether or not we're compatibility that does it for me.

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  • A little bit of everything.

    Also, why do these pictures contain only white men and women? As if they're the only attractive race?

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    • So if a black person posted only black guys an girls would you condemn them as well?

    • Not really. I wouldn't see a problem with it because how often are they portrayed as attractive by white owned modeling companies/media compared to the majority?

      I love black women and latinas, but you don't see them on billboards as often as blondes.

  • I just want him to treat my right. And that’s what he does 😍

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  • Character. Any basic looking guy with great character is someone I would give a chance

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  • Personality and intelligence are the top for me. But uh... Looks and charm are very helpful to that. Money is a relative thing; we can always get better jobs.

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  • All of the above would be ideal but I mainly go for personality and looks.

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  • All but the money. The money isn’t that important to me. I have my own money anyway.

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  • It seems like my brain is wired a bit different, I don't really find strangers attractive in relation to myself, since I'm an artist I can appreciate general beauty but not feel attraction of any kind. If the person turns out to be stupid or arrogant I will feel disgusted by them and no amount of abs, facial simetry, nice haircuts and expensive clothes can change my mind, if a person has a personality and character traits that I like I start seeing them as more and more attractive and overlook a lot of other things.

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  • Has all of the equipment to be fun in bed... and beyond

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  • Personality, a bit of physical attraction, intelligence, mutual connection, etc.

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  • Physical attraction is the most important thing in a partner. Anyone who says different are lying to make themselves look good. This have been proven

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    • Very true. The rest really doesn't matter if you aren't attracted to them to do the dirty thing that brings males and females of any species, together.

      That being said, I wouldn't date a sexy woman just because she was sexy. That just means we got the most important thing out of the way, and can move forward with finding out of the rest lines up.

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    • @Leillsa most guys dont like when a woman is taller than them

    • Interesting to hear that from a Swede, because some Scandinavian guys said there is a "the taller the better" ideal for women in Scandinavia. Which is bizzare in US. :D

      ww. girlsaskguys. com/dating/a57854-here-is-why-men-prefer-tall-women

      He didn't say "I personally prefer tall women" but rather "We prefer tall women"...

  • it's all nice, but I first look at looks. then comes the rest.
    looks and personality are the most important imho.

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  • Personality, intelligence and a minimum of charm and looks.

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  • All must be there, some morevthan the others though

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  • Personality, Looks, Intelligence, Charm.. How much money they have isn't that important to me.

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  • I find a person more beautiful the more I get to know them if they're good people

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  • D. Personality is the key for me. I want someone that I can relate to and has the characteristics that I am looking for

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  • Personality is the biggest one for me, but looks definitely matter. Intelligence is a close third.

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  • Offcourse you have to go for looks in the beginning, no one carries a visual representation of their personality around with them.

    But the way someone chooses to present themselves to the world can tell you something about their personality. Some examples, I would not date someone, who:
    1.) dresses only in black
    2.) is dressed very lazy
    3.) has a bazillion of tattoos and/or piercings
    4.) Smokes tobacco or, even worse, weed
    5.) Drinks way too much alcohol

    and so on...

    These are all things, that are part of someones looks. That does not mean, judging someone by their look is shallow. You just have to start somewhere

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  • 1. I acceptable looks. The main thing is not fat. But for me I just could never be with a tall girl. So not tall either.

    2. Treating me with respect.

    3. Good mother qualities and wanting to be a mom.

    4. Sexual history. Little to none ideal.

    5. Now is extra looks, ie are you hot.

    6. Intelligence. Its not necessary but its nice to have. I was in a wonderful relationship with a very simple girl and I am extremely intelligent.

    Things that do not matter to me at all.
    - Career
    - Money
    - Education

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  • I look for looks, personality, morals, some similar/compatible hobbies, long term life goals.

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  • Looks and personality. If you are not sexually attracted to someone your interest probably won't be to high for their personality

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  • It's 60% personality
    30% intelligence
    10 looks, or actually presentation

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  • Looks, intelligence, personality and kindness. Who gives a shit about how rich she is...

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  • All the above has to have kindness none of the fake nice.

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    • Also got be active.

    • People now a days see kindness as weakness. I do charitable work from childhood with my father who is a doctor in rural areas. Some days ago a women fell from bike in front of me on street she was senseless I picked her up , I have always some primary care in my bag she taken care of that before ambulance came in.
      Kindness to strangers is ok but close people actually hurt you most , some months ago I helped a friend in almost everything even when she got sexually molested , you know what she did she left me after that. The problem with kind people is , no one will be there when you get hurt 🥺

  • I should like him as a whole. He doesn't have to be perfect but good for me.

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  • Personality , and know what it means to be in a relationship

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