Who Has Most Difficulty in Dating?

  • Straight men (Explain Why)
    Vote A
  • Straight women (Explain Why)
    Vote B
  • Lesbians (Explain Why)
    Vote C
  • Gay men (Explain Why)
    Vote D
  • It's equally difficult for everyone (Explain Why)
    Vote E
  • It's only difficult if you're unattractive to most people (Explain)
    Vote F
  • Other (Explain What & Why)
    Vote G
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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7d
I think LGBT due small dating pool and homophobia. Unattractive people because few wants to date them. Especially if they've no nice personality. And then straight women. It's much easier for straight men to date than women due there's a lot of pretty ladies out there, but almost all guys looks average or below. Handsome men like Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom etc. are rare. Pretty ladies are everywhere.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • TLDR: We all have our crosses to bear, but the rewards make it all bearable.

    I don't know anything about lesbians and homosexials or bisexuals so anything that I could say about their experiences would merely be a guess. I don't think that there is anything inherent in gender that makes dating more difficult for guys, or for girls.

    These comments are based upon strictly heterosexual people who follow traditional gender roles:

    For guys, dating is difficult because we must initiate the relationship and we must face the prospect of being rejected once again. We are usually more eager to have sex in a relationship because that is a means of getting closer, but girls misinterpret that as us just wanting to use them for sex. We are expected to be the sole means of support when we have a family and we must deal with our insecurities about that. When we are dating, some girls will judge us by the car that we drive or the price range of the restaurants to which we take them. Girl tell us to be more expressive of our feelings but when those feelings are negative, they don't want to hear about it. Girls won't tell us what they want because, if we really love them, we should be able to read their mind. It's not easy being a guy.

    For girls, dating is difficult because if they try to initiate dating a guy, they will be seen as aggressive, pushy, or maybe even a slut. They must wait for guys to approach them and that must be very frustrating. When they have a first date, they generally don't know the guy very well and they don't kn ow whether we will act like a gentleman or try to slip them GHB so we can rape them. Girls have more insecurities that make them hesitant about sex: "will he laugh when he sees my 32B boobs, is my butt too small/too big, will he want to do some kinky stuff that is a turn off to me, will he immediately go tell all of his friends, etc.' If she is too eager to have sex, will we think she is a slut but if she wants to wait, will we think she is an ice queen and move on to another girl? Girls have a cultural set of expectations about maintaining their appearance and getting ready for a date can be a major undertaking for them: hair, nails, maybe a new dress, etc. If the guy has any alcohol on the date, will he turn into a nasty drunk and then they won't feel safe. I think most girls feel more responsible for maintaining conversation in the early stages of dating and that can be intimidating for anyone who is shy. If she acts interested, will we assume that she is clingy? If she keeps some distance, will we think that she is not interested?

    For me, it doesn't matter whether you think girls or guys have it easier. I am a guy and that is the burden I must carry in dating and relationships. However, I have tried to learn to focus on the positive aspects of dating and just accept the difficulties as the price that must be paid for trying to find an attractive partner who will want to merge her life with mine.

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    • So how does the clingy and distant thing work with guys? Like, what is the middle ground for how much the girl should be talking to the guy so she doesn't come off clingy or too distant? I actually always come off distant when I talk to a guy. I don't like texting all day every day, it stresses me out. And I try to only text an hour a day if its possible. I prefer to do everything in person however sometimes hanging out for hours straight is tiring for me. I have no idea why I feel that way but maybe it's a sign I am dating guys I am not really that into or it's just how I am.

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    • 7d

      @BluesheepOwl For a few minutes two or three times per week. Five to ten minutes is not a big time investment. You can accomplish more in 5-10 minutes voice-to-voice than you can in two hours of texting.

    • 7d

      If talking for a few minutes 2-3 times per week is a waste of your time, then you are dating the wrong guys.

  • Men. Girls aren't expected to pay for the date, perform chivalry and get blamed often during a break up and get no sympathy. What do they do for they're boyfriends? Sex is for both genders. Make ups and have to buy fancy dresses? They do that to envy other women or for themselves because men don't care about those much. www.dailymail.co.uk/.../...ress-impress-other.html
    www.bustle.com/.../68594-who-do-we-dress-up-for-other-women-men-or-ourselves-the-great-debate
    Not to mention they sometimes get those dress with their boyfriend's money. Some women be mad about guys being at work when they're suppose to take them on a date forgot who they are working for.

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    • 7d

      In my country it's more egalitarian. People pays for their own meals, both are expected to act romantic and everyone would get blamed on in a breakup.

    • 7d

      Well at least you're country is more egalitarian but that doesn't really change the empirical data of what men have to face in the world. Look for the suicide rate of men also the article women are wonderful effect.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Straight men obviously voting straight men lol

    I think straight men have it hard than straight women. But I do also find that gay people have a difficulty straight people don't have which is that they are fewer. So I think a gay guy have it harder than a straight guy and a lesbian girl than a straight girl. I know there are gays who are very popular and had many partners but also gays who can't find a SO because others don't want serious relationships or because the only gays around they know aren't attractive for them.

    Besides if I think deeply those who have it harder would be "asexuals", at least if they don't hide it, as they are a very small part of society and rest of society is sexual and most of it, logically, want a person to have sex with so would reject to have an asexual partner.

    Plus looks also play a great factor. Even if generally straight girls have it easier than straight guys, a straight girl under average would have it more difficult than a straight guy over average.

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    • I'm agree with you in most of the things, but I don't think it's harder for most straight guys to date than most straight women. It's easier for a guy to find a pretty woman than for women to find handsome men because of nice looking women are more common than men from my experience. In addition men aren't required to look as good as women because most women goes for personality and status, because they knows handsome men are very rare. There are more women who lowers their standards than men because they've to.

    • Im biased as a straight man

      However i feel like its easier for a not so attractive woman to get laid because men are usually more desperate for sex

      Now some not so attractive men do have dilusional standards that have no connection to reality. Same goes for some women Who aren't that great looking

  • Gay people, because they have a relatively small dating pool.

    I'd also say conventionally unattractive people in general no matter what their gender or sexual orientation is.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I think women like that they can say they have it easier and that men have it harder, and like that it bothers men.

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  • It's harder for straight men and unattractive people. Straight men have to have balls to go up to whoever they like and ask them on a date or whatever. Straight women don't usually go up to the people they like (they don't really need to). Straight women have men thrown at them. Gay people can have a hard time if they're not looking in places where LGBT people are like LGBT dating apps or bars.

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  • I think it's hard for everyone for different reasons but I do think men have it the hardest especially in this time.
    This video explains why pretty well. Just to get laid and start a potential relationship is harder for most guys than all the challenges women have in dating combined.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EX9mUO9R588

    A lot of people have said sex is easier to get than ever before but that's only true for a small percentage of guys. For the rest it's harder than ever before because in the past maybe a girl thought she could do better than this guy she was with but there weren't that many guys around and there was no social media so she took the best she could get and was happy with that.

    But today every girl knows some guy who is not gonna commit to her but just because she knows him and maybe has sex with him she thinks that's the type of guy she wants even if he's out of her league so women are less likely to date a guy who might be above average but not in the top 5% of attractiveness because they're thinking they have a chance with this guy who probably has ten other girls thinking the same thing. So in the past guys were helped out by limitations in communication and a limited pool of competition only other guys in their area, but today the competition is almost infinite.

    It's like that with most species though, just go to a farm. 1 Bull is kept to breed with all the cows and all the other male calfs get turned into barbecue.

    Women do have challenges as well, but we can tal about those another time.

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  • Men generally pursue women. This makes it hard on guys because they have to prove their worth, but it also makes it hard for girls because they have to be desirable enough to make men want to prove themselves.
    End of the day, it reallly doesn't matter who it is harder for. Being in a relationship is about being a part of a team. Teams don't end well if you focus on who 'has it harder'.

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    • 6d

      Actually, I disagree. You don't need to be TOO attractive. I won't want to try to "prove myself" if I think it's a waste of time.

    • 6d

      I like the last thing you said, though. I'm with you 100% on that.

  • who’s putting straight guys? do you have to put a tracker on your phone so your friends where you know inncase your date murders you?

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    • 7d

      Nice try but men have more violent crimes committed against them than women do.

      Being a man is much more dangerous than being a woman and women tend to live longer than men.

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    • 7d

      Women are very close to being 50% of domestic abuse cases so that is not relevant when the statistics are so close.

      Where are The battered men's shelters? If you wonder how a man can get beaten by a woman, imagine the state of a man who cannot defend himself without fear of legal repercussions and when he reports being assaulted, the police just laugh.

    • 7d

      @Juxtapose why are you talking about domestic abuse? that’s irrevant to the conversation

  • I agree with it being hard to find a good person. If attractive people date people who are not attractive the unattractive people can do some crazy stuff because of the attractive person. The lengths that some people will go to to sabotage someone they desire is frightening.

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    • 7d

      Which brings me to the conclusion that dating seems most difficult for unattractive people because unattractive people are the most oppressed.

    • 7d

      Pardon my generalization but literally almost all of the unattractive women I've been friends with became possessive out of the clear blue.

  • It's obviously straight men don't even fking kid yourselves you fools. Just look at which demographic has the most people in it who rarely have sex and the numbers speak for themeselves

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  • Unattractive people and straight men.
    Depending on where the person lives I'm sure gay people have a difficult time too.

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  • Men have a harder step one women have a harder step two.

    Men have to learn how to shoehorn themselves into situations where they can get attention from the opposite sex. Women have to learn how to navigate a mind field so they don’t get screwed over by a bad choices.

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    • 7d

      Yeah. But just because the one option is having to deal with bad choices vs. no choices at all doesn't mean the alternative option is the preferable one. People will imply that it must be "better" to have no choice than a bad choice while that isn't always true in every situation.

  • Unnatractive people if nobody's attracted to them they can't date anyone

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  • I think we all have our problems, obviously exclusively gay people are going to have more trouble in places with smaller gay populations. Men will have trouble in places with more men than women, and vice-versa for women. It sucks no matter who you are lol

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  • Id say its really difficult for both

    Not everybody is gonna find u hot even if most guys in school/college or work found u hot and cute there is 1 guy that u are crazy about he may find u ugly

    It works the same with guys

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  • That's laughable, men. Men have to do the approaching and be among the very best to even have a chance while women can just sit there and all the men come to them.

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  • Attractive women for sure. Guys are too intimidated to make a move so you never actually get asked out. Just lots of small talk.

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    • 7d

      I see you feel very strongly about this. 😂🤣

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    • 6d

      You just asked if I would potentially "marry" any of these guys. I responded no. Please stop trolling me.

    • 6d

      I'm not trolling you. You mentioned online dating. I'm not the one who brought that up. Also, I can't see my previous comment.

  • Lesbians. If a guy is gay it's typically quite obvious but it's harder to tell with girls so I probably wouldn't notice if a lesbian was flirting with me. (Not that they would lmao)

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  • Being "successful" with higher paying or fulfilling work to go along with the typical taste for confidence and basic physical attractiveness, is just an option for women. It's a requirement for men.

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  • I feel like it generally has to do with if a girl is shy and introverted and like myself I have trouble talking to guys. I decided to delete all my online dating apps and trying meeting someone old fashioned.

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  • I would say straight men. They're expected to initiate everything and a lot of women have high standards. lol @ anyone who says women. The only reason dating would be hard for a woman is because she has so many choices and doesn't know who to pick.

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  • That’s hard to really say One side.
    It’s like this...
    attractive people may have it hard because yes they will have a lot of people after them but most of them may be only trying to sleep with them. Bigger chances enduring assholes, liars and so on. Hard to find an actual good person. If that’s what they’re going for.
    Unattractive people,. Lots of people are shallow and do care about looks which makes it harder for them to even get dates in general.
    Gays and lesbians. Might be harder too because depending where they live they may be more quiet about it.
    So. It’s really all a mixture of different reasons for all kinds of people.

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    • 7d

      True AF!

    • 7d

      @Rubenmk yep. Basically for everyone just different scenarios

    • 7d

      Meh, I think it's still tougher for guys. Even if you're an attractive guy, women don't throw themselves at a man unless he's literally model good looking which has to be like 1% of the male population. Or high status which is a great minority. How many Chris hemsworths are out there with the combo of looks and status? A guy still has to be willing to play the numbers game and take rejection even if good looking. It should be easier for a good looking guy, but that also doesn't count social skills. A good looking woman can be socially awkward, maybe even weird and won't have a problem finding dates and from attractive men. A good looking man could still have problem if he isn't extroverted and isn't putting himself out there socially. A guy has to definitely put forth effort even if good looking. Just less good looking guys have to compensate and show more whether personality and more rejection and tries than good looking guys. I've had people find me either cute, hot, handsome, etc and from a decent number of pretty girls too. Doesn't matter, anxiety made it hard for me to get dates until I really pushed myself.

  • Well unnatractive people definitely have it the worst and attractive people have it the easiest, but if you take looks out of the equation I think women are a lot pickier and have higher expectations than men do which makes it harder for men.

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  • Ones that spends their lives in front of a screen. Them are the ones that don't how ro interact with a live human. Put down the phone and start talking to a human.

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  • Well the average woman and man have no issues, the above average man too. Maybe some attractive women but not always.
    Unattractive people are half and half lol some don't struggle at all somehow others do.

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    • I know lots of average men that struggle a lot to have a woman interested in them.

  • Straight women. Because they are never satisfied. And they have a lot of suitors and may have a lot of dates but they usually don't end up in a good relationship.

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  • Men have it harder. Women don't have to do anything.

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  • Men if they’re the ones who have to push their confidence or bravery to approach the girl to beg the romantic/sexual questions

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  • I can say It was hard for me when i 1st started dating, bc I'm not very attractive. I had to go online to find someone who liked me, bc I never got approached by anybody & tht was back when i was 19-20.

    But I really don't know, I think thts a very good question though. I do think a lot more comes in to play other than gender. Like people with disabilities (deaf, blind, autistic, DS, paralysis, etc) and even mental illnesses like depression, anxiety, dementia... and there are also people who've had injuries that have disfigured them permanently... I digress.

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  • Women. The respectful reserved ones are constantly harrassed by assholes while the wild bad ones are chased by good men.

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    • 7d

      Good guys are cancer. You need a guy who will be honest to the point of embarrassment: no concern about being good. "Good" guys are needy and often put on the false appearance of being good. It's best to have a guy who is radically himself and won't cover any of his being up to be called "good"

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    • 6d

      "good" men translating to attractive enough... don't pretend anything else matters

    • 6d

      If a "good man" is chasing a wild bad woman, then is he still a good man? Isn't that a character flaw? Does that not display a lack of judgment?

  • Any women who is struggling to find dates or stay married or get fucked must be a loser.

    Dating is so easy for them.

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  • LGBT people have a pretty tough time. The dating pool is smaller, and there are biases

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  • Natural selection, something to do with your surroundings state, city, etc. Also how you appear as a potential mate very child bearing. I don't know really read up on natural selection.

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  • Straight men because women have a lot more standards and spend more money.

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  • Lesbian sometimes it’s harder to tell and to find a some right for me thankfully I found my wife.

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  • My argument is: Involuntary celibacy is a real thing and most of them are men.

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  • Reserved, unattractive people. If you're a reserved and unattractive or even average guy, very few girls will approach you and they'll still expect you to take the lead, so you'll get nowhere. Even if you do muster up the resolve to approach, most girls won't give you the time of day, which they would to a more outgoing, charismatic, and attractive guy.

    If you're a reserved and unattractive girl, then chances are you won't be approached because you're too much effort when a guy could go after a more attractive or outgoing girl. And if such a girl were to take matters into her own hands and approach, she'd probably be shut down.

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  • Including LGBT people, I would say gay men, but maybe only because I (as a straight man) would have no idea where to find a gay partner. For straight relationships I think men have a harder time (but it might just be a 'grass is greener' problem) because I feel people have higher expectations of men (as far as confidence, success, money, social status, etc). I also feel like society is less aware of these kinds of pressures on young men than they are about the pressures on young women which has been blasted on the media for the last couple decades. That's not to say other people don't have pressures on them to look or behave a certain way, I'm just speaking from my experience.

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  • Straight women. They have the rough issue of having almost no guys ask them out because they're shy, then the girls take a hit to their self esteem, assuming they're not attractive and maybe leads to self-hatred, not realizing that the missing link is with guys, not her.

    In addition, if they settle for a guy who doesn't have the balls to ask her out point blank to her face, she has a high risk of settling for a needy boyfriend who will smother her emotionally and make a toxic relationship.

    Everyone keeps going on and on and on about homophobia. I have never seen homophobia actually hurt someone in an unavoidable way. Usually it's a gay joke and some jerk can't resist the temptation to play that sweet sweet victimization card and claim righteous indignation.

    Show some evidence that homophobia hurts.

    Hitchen's razor: that which is asserted with little evidence can be dismissed with little evidence. You are dismissed.

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    • 7d

      It's interesting to see the girls voting almost equally for every other group while the guys mostly think themselves to be victims.

      Only nice guys are the ones thinking they have ot rough.

      I acknowledge that I don't have a girlfriend because I don't have the balls to ask one out point blank and because I'm a bit too needy.

      I wish more guys could do that. We'd all be better off rather than acting like a wannabe incel community

    • 5d

      I’ve found it pretty easy. Since age 15 I’ve hardly ever been single. Women actually have more options than men. Men face rejection at a much higher rate.

  • It's a crapshoot for both but women have more options.

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  • Men.. do I even have to explain?

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    • 7d

      Yes, you do. I think it's harder for straight women than straight men because there's many nice looking women out there, but there's almost no handsome men out there. Often there's ugly men dating pretty women, but rarely the other way around because there's not enough handsome men for even the pretty ladies out there.

    • 7d

      I'm bisexual and I heavily disagree with you. There are plenty of attractive men.

      Getting dick is easy.

    • 7d

      I dates both too and at least where I lives there's not many good looking men.

  • Women expect to much.

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  • Depends on how hot the person is.

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  • There is such a small dating pool.

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  • Women

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  • Ugly guys and ugly girls

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  • People with a relatively small dating pool.

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  • men, in my case I been out of the game so long..

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  • ugly and/or ill adjusted people

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  • Being fat

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  • I'm unattractive so it's difficult.

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    • 7d

      That's not true Don't think that

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    • 6d

      If you were closer you could reject me lol

    • 6d

      We're about the same age. While it's true I prefer younger men, I have no reason to eject you, darling.

  • Depends on the person at hand

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  • Alcohol

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