How do you get to know someone?

My boyfriend and I were talking about this the other day and I guess we have different ways of getting to know someone. I prefer to spend time with them and let them tell me information about themselves when they're comfortable with it, but her prefers to ask direct questions

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Go for trial and error method. Getting to know each other also involves which method works for you both. Ask some ice breaking questions, then work your way out to thought provoking questions, spend some time cooking or playing together!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Depends. If it's something small like favorite color or something, I'll ask directly. But if it's something traumatizing, I'll let them tell me if and when they want to tell me. It depends on the topic of getting to know them.

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    • 7d

      Haha I'm the same way. I ask trivial things no problem, but don't like prying ingo people's lives. If they bring up something serious, I don't want to ask the wrong question

    • 7d

      Exactly. There's stuff you should ask like favorite things. And then there's stuff you shouldn't ask about until they want to discuss it. I actually had to go through a serious discussion with my girlfriend recently and I didn't want to offend her, so I asked questions that I know wouldn't offend her.

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What Girls & Guys Said

713
  • I think you need both methods and each has their place. Some things you can't or shouldn't ask directlt.

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  • Time of course, having open communication and listening to them is best in my opinion.
    Asking too many questions can stop someone from communicating all together, it's like crossing a line, if someone wants me to know something they'll tell me without being asked.

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  • I'm a little bit of both: I'll ask them common, cliche questions at first just to see what similarities, if any, we have.

    But as we're getting to know each other, I listen and let them tell me things about themselves as they're more comfortable opening up to me.

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  • It’s a mix of both. I enjoy conversations and am curious so I will ask questions and listen actively. But I also like to hang out and observe how they react to different stimuli. Sometimes when people let their guard down you get a look into who they really are.

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  • Start by getting to know them through your time together, and once you’re comfortable with one another that’s when I think direct questioning is okay. If he’s asking questions that concern dealbreakers, then it makes sense.

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  • You stalk dat ass then ask the questions you already know the answers to and act surprised and if he was honest, you admire his honesty

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  • I’m the same... spend time and let someone open up as they feel comfortable. Probably because that’s how i prefer. So until i get to know someone, I’m a good listener rather than talker

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  • I like to hang out with limited talking 😉 I feel like talking too much and asking too many questions ruins any relationship prematurely.

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  • Find interest in their passions. You don’t have to love them but by talking about them you may unearth an answer for a question that you’d never ask directly.

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  • I talk with them.

    I never volunteer information so asking and spending time with me would be 'her' best way to get to know me.

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  • I like both methods and 20 questions can help with the basics.

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  • I honestly do both I spent time with them and I ask direct questions

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  • I would ask direct question, open ended. Also for a date, then a second one

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  • I try to talk to them, but most girls tend to get shy... 🙇

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  • Asking questions

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  • It depends on time and the type of relationship

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  • Direct questions are good, depending on the topic

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  • Talk to them... it's the only way

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  • I don't know.

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  • YOU DON'T

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