Is the karma principle exempt in dating?

For you older guys and girls out there do you believe that karma applies to dating?

I'm a believer in karma in most aspects of life. For example I have been very generous with my time with volunteering this year. I went out my way to help the less fortunate. I didn't do it to impress anybody or because I felt guilty about something. I did it because it makes me feel good and I believe in Christ.

Well I ended gettting offered a very good paying job (after strugglign for 2 years) in a very nice location (SoCal). Coincidental? Maybe, maybe not.

I'm often friendly and kind to neighbors. I help people in sports and fitness (I used to be a pro fighter). Although I had some low points...for the most part I feel like the universe reciprocated in those regards.

But in regards to dating...and women...this is where I have the strongest doubts about karma. When I was younger I was a typical "nice guy"...because I am usually a giving person. Not perfect, but I almost always mean well. So I applied that to everything...including my search for a decent female. After all if I was a nice, caring and complimenting and would seem fair that the universe would give me an ideal women who would meet my needs, respect me and love me just as much as I love her. I'm some rare occassions I see this happening with other people...but more often than not this is not the case. . I'm 29 and it still hasn't happened for me.

I got frustrated with this since I was in my early teens. Being educated and good looking (as some people told me) I thought it would be easy to find an ideal girl. WRONG. Being attentive to women and listening to they SAY they want didn't bring me anything.

After moaning and complaining about this I finally in my mid 20s I wised up a bit. I read some good books, got advice from some real players and made myself much less of nice guy. I don't think I can be asshole, but I sure as hell withhold my nicer aspects. I can not call. I can stop saying sorry. I can NOT care about her feelings. I can withhold my attention and emotions. I can overall be much LESS available. And despite the karma principle...I got laid with several different girls last year behaving that way. It was an empty feeling...having random sex...but not nearly as empty and pathetic as being lonely.

But I don't like that part of me. I rather be myself, but myself has been a bachelor...for a long long time. So much for karma.

So tell me OLDER and WISER girls and guys. Do you believe that karma and love interwine? Can a SINGLE and OLDER guy or girl believe that karma applies to dating?

Like to hear thoughts.


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What Girls Said 2

  • I'm not going to fully discuss my thoughts on karma because I think I can get complicated a/b it...

    so I'll stay specific to dating, especially your situation:

    Think about it. You say you got laid, sure, but in the end, you felt pretty empty. So, in a way, don't you think your behavior was karmic? Sure, you got laid but did you find the girl, fall in love?

    And, I get it a/b being the nice guy and not getting what you *want* but when it doesn't work out with the right girl because the girl doesn't like you as a nice guy, i.e. yourself, then is that really the right girl for you? So, it's not a/b who you are but who they are. If a guy doesn't like me because I'm honest, speak my mind, and whatever other great qualities I have (haha), then I know he's not for me because that's me.

    There's one thing I don't get a/b the nice guy syndrome. Why do guys think that's all they have to be? For me, it's not the only thing I'm looking for.

    Being nice is basic, a given.

    However, I need to be attracted to that person for who he is. If a guy is nice but he's boring (not funny/witty), has no real interests/hobbies, isn't a deep thinker (a big one for me), and I don't respect/admire who he is inside because of his values, outlook in life...well, for me, that's not enough. Just being honest. And probably why I'm single, hahahaha!

    When something doesn't work out with a guy as much as I'd like it to, in that moment...after time/introspection, I can see that he wasn't right for me, we weren't right for each other, and why it didn't work out.

    I don't know if you've heard of the book/film, The Secret and/or The Law of Attraction. So, yes, I do believe in karma in regards to love but I don't think karma can be so simple in certain situations.

  • It depends on whether you believe in karma or not in the first place. I don't believe in karma. I believe that good things will come to good people, because they work for it, and they strive for it. They create for themselves a situation for good things to happen to them. Usually through great struggle.. because great things typically don't come easy. Bad things will come to people with questionable actions because that's the kind of situation they put themselves in.

    There's no karma when it comes to dating, in my opinion. It's only the person that you are, the type of people that you meet, and the chemistry and connection there is between the two of you.


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