When does dating someone get easier?

There's this guy, I met him when I was in my late teens, and we had a relationship for 2 years.
We never got close back then. He respected me in that matter and he didn't want me to infatuate on him because of sex, so he never touched me. I knew that he had the desire, but he was a gentleman.

During all those years we have met several times and on different occasions, kept a light communication, lost touch but got back in touch again, he always shows interest in what I am doing and how my life is going when we meet randomly.

We've been out many times, more than I can count really, and with time we became more intimate, like he always kisses me on the lips when we meet and by now we also had sex, but only twice. (That's to make clear that not every date ends up in bed. So I know for a fact that he's not trying to use me for sex)

I can't say we're JUST friends, I can see the spark in his eyes when he looks at me. I know he's sexually attracted to me, he doesn't hide that.

But the strange thing is, although I've known him for half my life, it never gets easier when it comes to going out together. Always the same heart beating, the same anxiety, as if we're meeting for the first time...
I don't know know to describe it... and the funny thing is that he seems to be anxious too...

Why doesn't it get easier?
Updates:
4 d ago
I just realised I should have used "nervousness" instead of "anxiety". Guess better late than never 😅
10 h ago
Well, thank you all for your help. Some of your answers, combine with a few things that happened recently made me see things on another perspective. Long story short, I'm putting an X on this guy...

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Most Helpful Guys

  • heart beating fast, having anxiety, feeling like a teenager means YOU ARE REALLY INTO HIM. It can also mean that YOU BOTH DON'T HAVE CLARITY on what kind of relationship this is...

    So the anxiety will come down a little once you two have a chat about what you guys want and where you are going!

    Good luck!

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  • I suspect the communication between you two has left out a needed discussion on feelings and expectations. Is this possible?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • When it's the right personπŸ’™πŸ˜‡

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    • 11 d ago

      Then why does my heart beat like a teenager's everytime I go out with him?

    • 11 d ago

      Because you're emotionally still a teenager. Go! Be an adult! Bring your relationship to Adult level 😝

    • 9 d ago

      Thanks for mho πŸ–€

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Have an opinion?

What Girls & Guys Said

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  • You guys either need to make more of a commitment to your relationship, or you need to end it. You are both hovering on the edge of a relationship but not really in one, and that's the source of your issues.

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  • Sounds like a pair of "butterfly lover". 😁

    If you keep your "relationship" at this same level, I think you'll never get past the anxiety level.

    in my opinion, be brave, go to the next level. That should put you at ease with each other thereafter.

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  • You might be really into him. More than just love. Not just a boyfriend or a husband, but truly the one. If it feels like anxiety though, do go ahead and talk to him. Describe it the best you can. Maybe something in you needs reassuring. If you previously had a problem with anxiety, it might be the cause.

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    • 9 d ago

      I just realized that maybe I didn't phrase it right... it's not anxiety in a bad way. It's more like excitement. How do you feel when you go on a very first fate with someone? That.

  • That's poetic, a beautiful and rare relationship. I loved reading it. Would love to again. 😊

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    • 4 d ago

      Thank you for you comment! ☺
      Ps. I will tell you when the sequel is released! Haha πŸ˜„

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    • 4 d ago

      Tbh I have no idea... The week was and will be quite busy, but I hope I can find time to see him this weekend.

    • 4 d ago

      You both are in such a beautiful relationship. I still have the goosebumps after reading this post. 😊 Lucky him. 😊

  • I still get butterflies in my stomach when I am going to meet my girlfriend.

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  • Psychotic disorder. I would recommend professional counseling. This is definitely not normal behavior.

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    • 10 d ago

      What part exactly do you consider not normal?

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    • 10 d ago

      Relax. You need some help determining why you're so uptight. This isn't going to win anyone over.

    • 10 d ago

      I will try and sort things out with him next time

  • I'm not sure what you mean by "easier". Like when will you feel "at ease" around him, or relaxed?

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  • When you're already with someone

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    • 10 d ago

      ok let me clarify that this is an attempt at a joke

    • 10 d ago

      Lol! Nevertheless I guess you have a point... knowing that there is an actual relationship will definitely put some ease on that matter.

    • 10 d ago

      That is usually very true, yes

  • Never does. It's a fools game really.

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  • I don't date.

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  • it never does

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  • When you're in heaven..
    or...
    Dating with inorganic beings :P

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