3 d

My low self esteem is causing my breakdowns?

I have a gorgeous sister, she's slim, active, and hot. she's older than me, dresses reveling Every. Guys. Dream she even modeled. She gets hit on all the time, yeah she's the hot sister. Me on the other hand I'm the opposite of her, pale, brunette, short, fat I struggle everyday with it. When I find a guy whose interested (usually happens online) cause they feel bad for me I push them away. Somedays I wish I was never born, i am worried that if i find a potential partner in the future he is gonna want my sister more than me and try to get her (it's the thought that kills me more than anything) I'm worried he's gonna leave me, worried he's gonna not want me. I'm honestly hideous and dont know if I should leave or run away. I'm a burden to everyone and I'm ugly on top of it all. What do I do? :/ I'm struggling.
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3 d
My break downs happen all the fucking time, sometimes 3 times a day where I just dont wanna be here and so on.
My low self esteem is causing my breakdowns?
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