Have an opinion?
Depends on the guy and his motives I guess. There are intelligent men who just can't take someone dumb and want a partner who can keep up with them, there are smart men who want to feel even smarter so they choose someone dumber in comparison. Intelligent women however rarely choose less intelligent men unless they have some other prominent qualities like being willing to learn, strong physically, very kind and generous etc. Again, depends. However I have noticed people with very high IQ (130+) have it the worst, the ones I have met are pretty bad at creating social bonds and understanding human emotion therefore a less intelligent but more emotional partner will not feel statisfied with them but if they find someone equal, there will not be much attachment and feelings in there, it looks like more of an arrangement than a relationship with those people. Everything comes at a price I guess.
Intelligent men like intelligent women and vice versa.
Makes perfect ends
It's not a top priority to me if you're talking like some stereotypical notion of "intelligence", like academic bookworm type. I tend to value other types more in a girl like social intelligence (both intra and inter-personal), wisdom, maturity.That doesn't mean I favor "dumb" girls but I find intelligence in many forms, like even a high school dropout who is very artistic and creative has a type of intelligence I find admirable. I even find athletes possess a type of motor intelligence that I find admirable. Same for musicians and such, writers, girls who possess street smarts, etc. And I tend to be drawn more to girls who excel more in the arts and humanities than STEM types.So it's not important to me that she excels academically, for example, or understands calculus.
Haha but you like creative artistic types for sure? And could you elaborate on street smarts? Social intelligence?
I do have a huge soft spot for the very artistic and creative types (in all forms, from music composer to creative writer to fine artist to theater performer).Street smarts include like figuring out how to navigate daily situations including difficult ones (perhaps I consider it attractive because I like a woman who is fairly self-sufficient and independent, not like a damsel in distress, and maybe there's a deep side of me that thinks she would make a superior mother).Social smarts to me include being able to navigate social events, click with a good variety of people, not being the nervous person in the corner unable to get along with anybody. I value those types of smarts because I find those types of girls easier to get along in my personal experience, and easier to communicate with and resolve conflicts if we run into a conflict of interest.
The social/street smarts I think I favor because I did date a number of shy ones (there are a bunch here in Japan). But I found even when they open up a lot, they shut down if they get upset/stressed, at least in my experience. And I found it very difficult to get along in those times. Whereas the more sociable types are usually a bit tougher in this context and can stay level-headed and talk things out, work things out together, instead of shutting down and want to escape. So I value that type of quality where we can still work as a team and resolve problems even if one of us is upset.
I agree with all of this you put it extremely well 😊
@VIVANT Cheers :-) For the soft spot for kind of artistic and creative types (and I have a very broad notion of what that means), I'm not sure why exactly but it appeals to me more than like someone who is good at mathematics. I think it's because I can more immediately appreciate the beauty and expression of whatever work they create and I like people with an imaginative component about them. Even though I'm a software engineer, I never got along so well with hardcore technical types of people. I get along, for whatever reason, better with designers and artists and such (we see the world in a more similar way, I think).
What way is that?
You lost pot everything so well I couldn’t really even think of what to respond lol I agree with artistic third of personality can be appealing -but I really respect the way you can see deeply into how intelligence can exist in many valuable forms. Such a beautiful honest humble observation.And I think the point about your communication is so insightful and spot on!
>> What way is that?That's very tough to articulate perfectly, but I'm kind of an imaginative type. I'm not a great artist by any stretch but I do like to draw here and there, like so:And I'm into making some tunes on a keyboard like so:https://vocaroo.com/i/s0kkzD0z36jaI'm very good at any of this stuff but maybe because I'm not very good at it compared to STEM subjects, most of my admiration goes towards people who are very good at these sorts of things.But I'm also imaginative and maybe a bit impractical (I'm ENFP by MBTI). I'm a bit of a dreamer and like going on adventures. My sense of humor (at least in person) is quite warm and affectionate, not dry and sarcastic. And I'm not very pedantic and technically precise.I've gotten into arguments with colleagues who made it a huge thing to point out that a graph we encountered in a presentation was more specifically a "tree" and not a "graph", and I'm kind of like, "Who gives a shit? A tree is a type of graph. Why are we arguing about this?"But they're very precise and technical people who are obsessed with being as technically accurate as possible, and I'm not. I even value figurative language -- some metaphors and hyperbole here and there, to better communicate emotions and thoughts rather than trying to be as technically precise as possible.
I'm [NOT] very good at any of this stuff but maybe because I'm not very good at it [...]
Holy my god that’s impressive if you actually did that, what are you talking about? You have potential for sure in art
Thanks! I was a double major in visual arts and computer science, but I excelled much more at the latter. I couldn't see myself doing art as a professional (ex: illustrator), as much as I wanted. I got into the whole art and music and programming making video games as a kid. I couldn't hire an artist or musician so I had to learn the basics of how to draw and write music. I ended up excelling much more at programming (I think because most people don't start off writing code as a kid), but my passion is more towards the artistic type of endeavors.Most people who are programmers I've met are interested more in solving technical puzzles. They look at things differently from me. I got interested because it's like, "If I can learn to code, I can make anything I imagine a reality on the computer screen. I just need to learn how to talk to the machine in a language it understands." So I got into it that way, and the technical puzzles are more like annoying things I have to deal with than the source of my joy and interest. So I'm wired differently from most engineers and scientists who got into this field.
@VIVANT >> I agree with artistic third of personality can be appealing -but I really respect the way you can see deeply into how intelligence can exist in many valuable forms. Such a beautiful honest humble observation.Cheers! Well, I used to be considered "intelligent" at one point in my life in a stereotypical way (I'm not sure about now since I'm not as sharp as I used to be, and might have killed too many brain cells from drinking). I was a member of Mensa before and had a high enough IQ to qualify as a member through the official Mensa test.But I found being a member of that organization very disappointing. There was this sense of intellectual elitism that I didn't find interesting at all. It's like, "yes, all of us here excel at solving certain types of problems and scoring high on certain types of tests", but I don't like looking down at anyone. It's like none of us are likely to win Olympic gold medals, or compose a symphony, or paint a masterpiece, or write a best-selling series of fictional books, or even win a beauty pageant. Many of us were also lacking in street smarts and sometimes basic common sense.So I find intelligence all over the place of all sorts of forms. At least I find competence and a neverending set of things that other people are better at than me in ways I can always admire. But the kind of intelligence I admire most might be the most social and creative kind.And I'm a bit crazy. :-D My idea of love is like break open a hatch and plunge down a cliff together. I'm speaking metaphorically, of course, but most people I work with in my field, like mathematicians and scientists and engineers, would find such an expression deranged even when qualified as metaphorical, whereas artistic and creative types might understand what I mean. I have a fondness for the figurative, and irrational, and abstract, and imaginative, in ways I think the most technical types of people would find bizarre.
Yes I did get that impression about you / which made me appreciate your view somewhat more. Hmm do you really think you could have lost that many I Q points lol
@VIVANT I sometimes worry from all the partying I did. I'm definitely not as sharp as I used to be. :-D My hearing also isn't as sharp these days, I think. I probably exposed myself to too much loud music. I have to ask, "Pardon?" a lot more these days.
Speaking only for myself, intelligence is highly attractive to me. I find it hard to be with dumb people of either sex or any gender. I like a good discussion, varied viewpoints, and expressions of perspectives. I like women who know a lot about something or a little about a lot of things, and who are willing to exchange ideas by listening and talking intelligently. There are so many things one can enjoy with an intelligent woman. Give me a friendship with intelligent women over a dumb one every time.
Intelligence is an absolute must in a partner for me. I prefer that she have at least a 130 IQ.
WHat that cuts out like 1/2 of people
No, it eliminates 97.7249937964% of all women. I have a high IQ and i have tried dating women of average intelligence but it just doesn't work out very well.Between 2015 and 2017, I dated a women who had about a 140 IQ. Unfortunately, she is rather self-centered and loves only herself but, otherwise, she is the best match I have ever found.
Does she think highly of herself?
She wasn't arrogant but she knew that she had exceptional intelligence. She is a retired judge. If you are an intelligent person, you know it, and pretending that you are not intelligent isn't modesty at all. She didn't think she was more intelligent than me.
@OlderAndWiserIt’s cool she was a judge
I am an attorney and it wasn't a big deal to me. It did mean that we had many common interests, we spoke the same language, on the same wavelength, etc. We also had many friends in common though we had never met before I met her on POF.
Some do, some don't.
An honest answer
Depends on the guy
I do, but they're pretty rare from my experience. Not trying to insult women or anything, I just haven't met many smart women, most have been average or slightly below. For men as a whole, men tend to marry less intelligent women while women tend to marry more intelligent men."Women who had ever-married achieved mean lower childhood IQ scores than women who had never-married (p < 0.001). Conversely, there was a trend for men who had ever-married to achieve higher childhood IQ scores than men who had never-married"www.sciencedirect.com/.../S0191886904003137www.sciencedirect.com/.../S016028961000005X</a>
I totally agree with SuperManiac's answer. Social intelligence really matters. Not shutting down thing that he pointed out was very insightful and spot on. I am a shy and introverted. I am not witty or smart which makes it difficult for me to interact with these social butterfly type of girls but I do appreciate their emotional intelligence.
I genuinely don't care either way. As long as the girl isn't a complete idiot I'm good. She can be average intelligence or a genius. Makes no difference to me. The only things I really care about as far as a girls intelligence are:1. Don't be a complete idiot2. Be secure enough as to not have a superiority complex about your intelligence.One of the most annoying things that some intelligent girls will do is constantly trying to PROVE they are smart or acting superior towards others they view as less intelligent, because of their personal insecurity. I hate that shit. If a girl is just smart, but a normal person then that's fine. But the girl that has to always rub it in your face. Pass. Every situation is win/lose with that kind of girl.
I prefer intelligent girls but not necessarily just academically intelligent. Somebody can be a great artist for example and well versed in literature. But it doesn't mean there aren't other things desire as well, for example girl putting effort in her appearance, somebody who likes going out be it hiking or museum.
... Guys like *attractive* girls. Physical attraction comes first and foremost. Period. Everything else is secondary. Still important, but secondary.If she's hot/pretty first, then yes of course we want her to be intelligent. Duh. Who wants to date a dullard?
That isn’t always true, lol, if a girl is hot but a total jerk then I wouldn’t date her
Well I'd fuck her; who has to date, necessarily?
Me. I need a companion
Depends on the guy. They might want dumb girls because they feel like they are doing their duty as a man by helping her. At the same time, intelligent girls might be a turn off because it doesn’t provide as much of an opportunity like that and would be afraid that she will constantly emasculate him for being an ignorant of certain subjects.
I don't mind some intelligence on a girl, but if she has like more than 1 bachelors or masters or doctoral degree from 1 of the big universities in the world like M. I. T. or Harvard or something like that,... not to sound like a jerk or anything, but I may just pass on that.
Why is having more than one degree a turn off? She can solve some of the world’s complex problems
Yeah,... that would mean she can,... but you can't.
Why would you want to? You have a hot genius girlfriend sitting there to help you with anything. I would like it but I guess not everyone is the same
Just because you have hot genius girlfriend, that doesn't automatically rule out that you have "The best of both worlds" so to speak. I once hand a fiance' who was a very intelligent & an attractive nerd. I'm like that as well, but she had it better in life, so she was far beyond better & ahead in the whole genius game than I was. Just because you have a hot genius girlfriend, that doesn't mean your life will be much easier. If anything you may even try to think of ways to intellectually match with her & try to impress her more if you think you can. I was a little jealous of her & told her she should be thankful for something like that, because there are a lot of people who do not have what she has.
Lucky you, I want a nerdy girl like that
I'm not a very lucky guy if this attractive, nerdy girl has already left my life. If anything, her & I haven't spoken in about 13 years. She's been gone & out of my life for a long time.
Jeez what happened
Her & I were together for just a little of 7 months, her & I were so into each other to the point where we were discussing marriage. I was going through & sorting out some issues. Some of the problems were my fault, but most of them were not my fault at all, but unfortunately I still had to take care of them, all of this was weighing her down, she couldn't take it anymore, she felt like she was acting more of a mother to me than a fiance. She wanted to break it off from me without working it out between her & I and unfortunately that was it. She offered to just be friends again with me, but I literally told her "Fuck that. Not gonna happen". I wanted to work it out with her, but she wasn't going to have that. That experience had impacted me pretty bad to the point where my personality changed, & I went from being a sweet, awesome guy to an asshole who doesn't give a rats-ass anymore. ... yes, women can do that to you. Especially the kind that you are absolutely, incredibly in-love with.
I can't tolerate stupidityI seriously can'tIm too smart for my own good, and i need someone that can match my witI need someone that can not only keep up in a conversation, but challenge me to thinkAn intelligent man needs some mental stimulation from his woman tooOnly reason an intelligent man would want a stupid woman, is because she would likely be easier to controlIm looking for a partner, not an emotional slave
Sure guys do like girls who are intelligent but then that intelligence should turn into over smartness and arrogance and if that happens then it won't take much time for the guy to start disliking and become distant with that same girl.
I obviously like intelligent women , they are more confident , they know what they want , don't creative drama , and more understanding of emotions and relationship. An intelligent and well adjusted women is always attracted. , but they can also be more dangerous , since they can also easily manipulate you
I do. I'd like a girl that smart enough to teach me stuff but dumb enough that I can teach her stuff. Like, maybe she can teach me about stuff that she's really into, but I can teach her about stuff I'm really into, but I don't want a dummy. A body AND a brain would be great!!
Hard to say, really. No girl has ever tried it. www.wakingtimes.com/.../Smug-Look-296x300.jpeg
No girls has tried it
Who is that?
Guys like smart girls.I’m old and grumpy, so I’m too stuck in my ways. I don’t like dumb girls.I’ve kinda always didn’t like girls who couldn’t be bothered to learn something,
It depends on the person. For me definitely intelligent. I'll have a good conversation over sex pretty much everytime. The worst girls are the ones who pretend to be dumber than they are.
Yeah ugh that is so annoying, do you find glasses attractive?
I have no particular meaning about glasses as long as they wear a pair that look good.
I like it when they are sciency or good math, I think it's cute. Also I need them to be close to my level of intelligence to keep up. If I feel I'm teaching a 5th grader rather than discussing something with an adult then that's a problem.
Smart yea maybe... Smarter then them I really don't think so. Still depends on what guy but to me at least. Doesn't mean you necessarily favor 'dumb' girls it just means you look for other qualities, it's not all about the smarts, anyone can be smart but be an incessant brat that you can't stand, intelligence doesn't mean much
There are plety of giys that like so called intelligent wpmen. It gives them someone to connect with i stead od having someo e wh o if s just their. The thing is also it depends is their intelligence well rounded or on just a few specific things.
Only, recently met one and sh's proof that what's between your wars determines just how desairable as what's between your legs
Ah ah... I think clever guys like clever girls and only a stupid guy would want a stupid girl... and I think this is even true for a ONS because someone's intelligence is part of her attractiveness...
Yeah no it’s not true for a one night stand
Depends on the guy. I prefer intelligence. If you can have meaningful conversation then the relationship or date is pure physical. Those don’t end up going far.
Guys definitely like intelligent girls. They are more interesting and more fun.
Of course. You can't have good conversations with simple minds. Not to mention, guys don't want the mother of their children to be dumb as a brick.
I like intelligent girls. I like having a good conversation and they are perfect for that. I usually learn something new.
Intelligent guys tend to seek intelligent women. But it's more just a test score.
It depends who were talking about. If they want easy sex they obviously go for dumb girls. Or girls they think are dumb. If they like intelligent girls, it would be evident on trying to get to know how she thinks and apply it to their lives.
Umm. The biggest, hottest sex organs are NOT your genitalia. It's your BRAIN!!!
And how many people actually waiting for marriage to have sex? You cannot be speaking for all men. I know for myself a lot of them do not want anything to do with me, because I'm not an easy woman for them to mess around with.
And I'm talking about mentality not levels of intelligence. Dumb chicks fall for guys without even knowing who they are, don't wait for marriage for sex and then get upset about the type of person they've slept with and call it dating. They go for them because of physical attractiveness, personality, and how they make them feel. Instead of going for a person because they share the same values and standards. That is a dumb person when they know better. A smart woman waits it out.
I make jokes that require some intelligence to understand and I would prefer a girl to understand them. Explaining every joke makes them less amusing.
Gods, yes! Give me a smart, lusty girl over a dumb virgin bombshell any day! The conversation is better, and they're more imaginative in bed. and out.
Working on physics in the bedroom
Oh, NOW I have a scene in mind... Bad, evil inspiration! You should be ashamed! ;)
Yep, I’ll keep fueling it- she’s calculating the air speed and velocity of first hit plus the time it takes to gasp multiplied by bed width
*sigh* You ruined it. Oh, well...
Fine go for a dummy, she can’t can’t even spell your name right
What you babbled wasn't physics; just nonsense. Now, if she were calculating the likely moment when she'd orgasm, based on the pulse rate of her vaginal walls and my thrust timing, THAT would be sexy. But you just tossed in nonsense...
Oh god that imagery is gonna leave a scar
LOL! Yeah... remember, I look like Santa, and my wife is even older than I am. So two wrinkled, fat, white haired people getting in on while shouting out equations... ;)
You need to shut your mouth
Guys in my class do favour intelligent girls over the pretty and dumb.
Just saying you can be pretty and Intelligent :)
My girlfriend is one of the smartest, mot clever women I know. Her friends are kinda thotty though.
It doesn't matter what I like because a woman is going to pick me based on her hypergamy.
Why would she pick you?
Intelligence is good as long as she maintains that feminine aura & charm.
Aura and charm?
I tend to favor those who utilized a bit more of their gray matter.
What is gray matter
I'm thinking you better stick to the dumb ones...
@zagor Probably, less humiliation for me
Grey Matter, simply put, is part of the brain
I find intellect extremely attractive. Way above physical beauty.
What’s your reasoning?
Beauty fades, intellect doesn't.Id like to think of myself as at least semi-intelligent and I love talking about life, studies, interesting facts and just random things. If she can't carry a conversation with me, then the relationship in only physical.
Would it turn you on if she was ten times smarter than you and got you to learn new things on each date?
It would be difficult keeping up, I'll give you that, but it would be a challenge I'd be willing to take. If she was cool about the fact that she's smarter, and not smug about it, then all the more reason for it.
What if she was smug? That would be a turn off?
If she was smug, or had a superiority complex then I wouldn't give her the time of day. Relationships are about being equals, if one thinks too highly of themselfs, the other would grow to resent them.
Well that’s fair, do you ever find a superiority complex a total turn on?
Only in a sexual scenario 😉
I do. I want one that can play and understand D&D, Stratego, and stuff like that.
Difference between nerd and smart
At this point I need stupid girls I don't have time to play games with someone intelligent
depends what kind of smart. guys that truly want a partner won't mind at all if a girl is smart. a guy that wants a fuck doll wants someone easily manipulated and easy to control
Men like women of any intelligence. All the woman needs is to have a place for his wiener to fit and he is pleased with her.
Most guys I've met prefer women with fewer disruptive thoughts.
@Guardian45 You know it.
@SnowFoxy1I really like your username
@SnowFoxy1How did you come up with it
Snow is my last name, a fox is my favorite animal (plus it's ironic to be called foxy) and 1 is so that people call me Foxy One.Get it? It's a joke.
@SnowFoxy1Yeah, it sounds cute.
In order for there to be sympatico, brains are a must.
What is sympatico?
I could tell you what it means, and make it easy for you, but that wouldn't be very educational.So, why not consult a dictionary and a thesaurus and expand your vocabulary?
LOL... the smarter the better. Shouldn't that be obvious?
Depends if they r evil. or not. Smart women can b pre evil
Looool do go on my friend!
Yes, I'd live that at least one of us has a functioning brain.
I do but most of the intelligent ones are ugly... Which seems like a loose loose situation...
I like smart girls but some end up being boring or unable to hold a interesting conversation.
Yes because of social skills
intelligent girls don't like dumb guys. To answer your question I noticed that some men freak out when there's a smarter girl around them like colleagues or classmates, but in a relationship they don't they actually like it.
Why don’t they actually like it in a relationship? Why could this be?
There are people who are insecure. In a relationship, a guy wants someone he can talk to.A smart girl can help alter a mans view on things.
Ahem. Not every guy.
I like smart girls. Dumb girls are kind of a turnoff. Even for a fling, blatant stupidity makes me lose interest. Only thing worse is a snotty attitude.
Dumb are risky make shit, unaccountable harmful moves.Intelligent will only care about themselves.
Given a choice anyone would like a girl to match his own intelligence !
I don't know why someone wouldn't like an intelligent person unless they were the manipulative type or it was due to a self esteem thing
Intelligent and conversation everyday over dumb. Regardless of beauty...
Intelligent girls are far more attractive than unintelligent girls.
I believe most men like intelligent women nothing good like a nice conversation.
I wholeheartedly agree with you on that!
It doesn't matter to me what level of intelligence guys like in a girl. I need an intellectual connect if I'm to see him as partner material.
I don’t expect them to be a genius, but if they are too dumb I really can’t deal it…
I absolutely prefer intelligent girls.
I'd like a woman that I can talk with about well everything, so she can't be dumb :/
I prefer smart girls, or at least average ones. I can't stand dumb girls, they infuriate me so much.
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