What should I do? am I just being paranoid?

I met this great guy through an online dating site and we got to know each other pretty well we chatted and emailed for 2 months before we ever met in person. when we finally met in person there was none of the awkwardness that is "normal" for people that are meeting for the first time and I had and AMAZING night. the second time we never made it out the front door to go on our date and ended up spending the next 4 1/2 hours in bed (last week). Now he's telling me he loves me. it all kind of seems like its happening to fast now. I really like this guy and I want things to work between us but I don't know what to do should I slow it down or am I being paranoid because we have only PHYSICALLY known each other for such a short time? could he really mean it when he says he loves me or is he just saying what he thinks I want to hear so I'll keep giving him sex?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Recently I re-connected with a woman I knew as a girlfriend of one of my high-school buddies. We met while simultaneously looking for a mutual classmate. We chatted through Facebook, email, texting and phone for a couple of months. We had a lot of shared memories but really didn't know each other.

    When we met (she lives 2.5 hours away), like you it was very, very easy to talk and we ended up sleeping together the first night (no sex, just cuddling). We discovered some real chemistry between us, but I waited for her to say she was falling in love with me. I concur that men need to be very careful in this department. I would not make such an admittance so early in the game.

    To me, your guy's motives are very suspicious.

    If you really like this guy, I would pace the relationship over a period of months going forward just to see if yours and his attraction continues. Although you may not want to, you may want to confront him and ask what his motives are.

    • I did ask him and he got really hurt and said "why do you think I said it? to make you feel good.? uh no I said it because that's how I feel! I REALLY do love you."

    • Well then, like I said. Pace it out over the months ahead and see how it goes.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Run. Hide. Dodge.

    He spent 5 hours with you and he's already dropping L-Bombs? I'd get in the bunker.

    Yikes. Stage 5 clinger? I'd have to say so.

    Either that or all he wants is sex.

    It has already turned you off either way. This guy is already gone. You know it. I know it. He just doesn't know it yet.

    Guys who read this: Never...ever...ever, ever ever ever say "I love you" first. EVER. Make her say it first. This lady could have been the woman of his dreams and he just blew it by opening his dumb mouth.


What Girls Said 1

  • He doesn't love you. It is possible that he is infatuated with you, but once he realizes that you're not his dream woman, his interest will simmer down tremendously. You're 30-35, you need to realize this and know what you want in a relationship. When you have sex with a guy that fast, he won't really respect you. The longer you wait before having sex, the more he waits if he likes talking to you + being near you. My advice is to talk with him, tell him how you feel.