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I made my boyfriend cry on his birthday and I feel like I can't go back?

like these past few days we kept on arguing over and over again. and even though it was his birthday, i made him cry. he’s never a type of person to cry at all. and i’ve never seen him more upset than ever. he told me that he felt like our relationship was extremely unfair and one-sided since he felt like he was the only one showing affection. he also told me that i need to change myself and actually try to change. i’ve been trying to improve myself constantly for him, i feel like i need time to slowly improve on my insecurities. this makes me feel pressured from time to time but i think i’m just overreacting. he puts in so much effort in our relationship and i never want to lose him but i feel like i’m never enough for him. i always feel like i cause the trouble in our relationship and i’m not sure if i’m ready for a serious one. he’s my first boyfriend and i recently, i’ve been making same mistakes over and over again and kept messing it up. i feel really selfish in our relationship now and i don’t know how i can ever make him feel loved or special. we’re taking a break now and i don’t know what to do.
I made my boyfriend cry on his birthday and I feel like I can't go back?
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