3 mo

Been in relationship for 5 years and lately having some major red flags. Do I listen to my gut or am I reading it all wrong?

So I’ve been dating this guy for 5 years now. He’s an all around good guy but I feel he has a much deeper dark side to him and there’s times my gut says he’s got some major issues that he really tries hard to hide. First he has asked me to sleep with other men because it turns him on. (Never would I that’s gross) second he is always watching documentaries and a lot are about sex scandles, prostitution, escorts, sex trafficking... he always wants to watch date line and forensic science and for me I’m a super sensitive to all that shit because I was date raped once and it has really made me not trust most men because I don’t know who is genuine and who is not.
He also drinks a lot and when he’s super drunk he tells me he likes dirty girls and could I be his.. there's playful but this is downright off in my eyes. . (like who does that) during the week he is a manager at a Mill and people love him but I’m seeing a side that he tries not to show or I feel he tries. The things that come out of his mouth sometimes baffles me. Oh and he reads the news on his phone like 4-5 times a day. He read about college girls needing money and having sugar daddies and then goes and tells his newly single rich friend about it. :( Our sex life is extremely boring because he doesn’t like lengerai, he only likes me on top, doesn’t bother trying to get me off , so I have to do it myself. It’s just weird.
The thing is I’ve fallen in love with this man and his kids and grandkids and I’ve become dependent on him unfortunately.
I don’t know what to do. Do I listen to my gut or do I ignore or am I just being to untrustful?
I would never sleep with another man and I am a very loving and caring person. I do more for people then I do for myself and money means nothing to me if I don’t have the love and respect from the man I’m dating and I’m love with. My children love him too but no one see this side of him that I do and that’s what makes me question my red flags popping all over in my body.
Been in relationship for 5 years and lately having some major red flags. Do I listen to my gut or am I reading it all wrong?
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