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Yes! You are not entitled to anything. You should communicate with this person and find out what is going on. Not just hop up, dump a person and then you want to know why you have problems in your dating life. He shouldn't be buying you gifts unless he WANTS to. It's his money. And if something is stopping him from going out, make plans to go on a walk or a picnic or something. Or have a family date with the parents or get some friends to hang out. You been with him for 2 years. You should know how he is by now. And if this is new behavior, give him a chance. And if he tells you he doesn't want to do those things anymore, then think about why you got with him in the first place, and then do what you have to do. Don't do it based on emotions and fleeting feelings. Because trust me, if your not ready to end it, you will regret it and try to get him back. Make sure there is nothing else that is holding him back from doing any of those things.
Just for some clarification I'm not in the relationship purely for that stuff. I wouldn't have stayed if i was. Honestly I've gotten pissed at him the few times we've been in the store together and he spends more than $10 dollars on me. The thing that upsets me isn't the lack of things I recieve but the fact that I have to ask for stuff. He could honestly get me silly putty from the dollar store as a spontaneous gift and id treasure it forever. And a little extra is we're in a LDR. The only reason I'm asking this question is lately he's been talking to me less and less and its made me reflect back on the fact that he originally promised to take me out to 3 places when we were first talking and then we never went. But thank you for your opinion.
Well in any relationship you should at least ask. You're not married to him. It is not about what is materialistic, but WHY are you and him in a relationship in the first place. Even though both of you are in an LDR, you both are still subject to the same rules as if you both are physically together. It's just tougher when your distances apart. And both YOU and HIM should have known this. LDR's are no walk in the park. It is not easy. I just think that right now, you need to focus on other things and getting to the bottom of the communication which is a MAJOR issue. Not the dates or the gifts. COMMUNICATION.
Think of this as a TEST. If you fail, you will keep running from doing what is hard. What if both of you were married, would you keep thinking about leaving him too? Seriously THINK about it. If you love this guy, work it out somehow. You may not even date for a month or two. DEPENDING on how far you two are. If you don't, just call it quits. But at the same time, he needs to make an effort for YOU to spend time with you. Give him an ultimatum. If he doesn't step it up, your walking. That's all.
I have told him numerous times how i feel about him talking to me less and everything. If I'm feeling off about anything i tell him. So I don't know what else I'm supposed to do! I've told him and asked and tried to seem indifferent to get him to notice and its not happening! What else should i do?
Wow, sounds like to me do not just going through neglect , you are going through abuse. You really just need to end it because he's not being an attentive person or boyfriend towards you. Skip the gifts, skip the dates. If you got to tell him numerous times that should have been a No-No. Because now he knows you are never going to be somebody he can take seriously. You have no boundaries and you need to learn to develop healthy boundaries in your relationships with people. Cut the cord. You owe him nothing and at that point with all of that neglect and abuse you shouldn't be seeking no gifts from him.
Okay thank you for all your help and for going through my long rants. Ik I can get wordy sometimes 😅
It's okay. What matters is that you get the help you need.
The more information you give. The better people can help you.
Seems like this is the culmination of some unsure feelings about the relationship and this would be a good reason to pull the trigger on the break up?
Yeah lately its been rough with us and I just... I love him so much but I just feel like a friend w/ benifits he keeps around instead of his girlfriend
That is tough and not fair.. he sounds like he takes you for granted to be there?
Thats how I'm feeling
Then you need to end it... never worth wasting your time and love on something that won't last
You're welcome. Good luck
I'd first have a conversation with him and ask where the relationship is going If he's being completely denying any wrong doing, then it's time to dump
Yeah its gonna be a tough conversation
Don’t beg for his attention it just shows him that he can do whatever he wants. But please have a conversation with him and ask him why it happens.
I've told him my same feelings all month long but nothing has changed. So I'm guessing thats looking very desperate?
Just a bit in his eyes perhaps if you think it’s a pattern then you can break it off
And you must be so comfortable of being treated like a queen everytime that when we take a break "he's not taking care of me properly anymore" just like plenty of guys who faced divorce who commit suicide
I mean you must be so comfortable of being treated like a queen everytime. Read again
You never planned a date for your boyfriend. Do it and see if you like it
I did plan a date for my boyfriend. I took him out to one of his favorite studio ghibli movies with a walk in a park with deer and peacocks which is the equivalent of the max I expect and we werent even a year into our relationship. A year and a couple months later he's never planned a decent date for us to go on. So no I'm not used to being treated like a "queen". I've never been on a real date that I didn't have to plan.
Well sure thing. Just consider yourself lucky you had a date. Anyways I don't know what you experience. Why are you even with him for a long time? Want anything in return?
Why should i consider myself lucky I had a date? And I've stayed cause I love him but I keep hoping he'll make actions to show me the he does too but he expresses it in word. I've stayed through a lot to keep this relationship going and I just want to see that it's worth it. Not just hear. Obviously though you think I'm a diva who expects thousands rained down on me and I can't change your mind.
"Am I wrong for wanting to break up with my boyfriend for not taking me on a planned date in our 2 years and not buying me any gifts unless I ask?" That reason alone is shallow and you couldve elaborated more. Now you're saying you feel like he doesn't love you then go ahead. I still don't know the real story tho
He doesn’t seem interested and stringing you along. Best to end it.
Thank you very much
You aren't entitled to any gifts unless you're giving gifts as well in my opinion
I've bought gifts for him but haven't given them to him cause they're just a stupid little teddy bear and a little hot wheel. I feel like they'll be insignificant to him but its all I can afford on a college budget and I planned a whole date to go see his favorite studio ghibli movie with a fun outing to feed deer and peacocks trying to show him like the absolute max but he still hasn't planned anything for us.
I think you should talk about how it made you feel. Communication is important in a relationship, blindsiding him like that isn't right.
Why did you stay with for so damn long?
I keep hoping it'll change
It will change as soon as you make it change. There's no need to wait.
Seems like you want some qualities that other guys have. Leave
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