I've given up on trying to find my soulmate (if that even exists). I'm done. It seems like no matter how hard I try, I'm just brought back to the revelation that no guy will ever want me as a girlfriend. That all I seem to be good for in the eyes of men is a quick fuck. I know this sounds ridiculous coming from an 18-year-old, but this 18-year-old just got blocked and ghosted because she explained to a guy how she felt about relationships and herself. Because she wanted to be upfront and hoped he'd understand. Now, you may be wondering what did I say? I told him how I want a relationship, but I'm also terrified of being in one. That I need to take things slow because I've never done this before. I'm scared of being in a relationship because I am giving this person the power to destroy me. I have to trust that the won't break what's already broken and fucked up. As for myself? I'm insecure as fuck, that's just how it is.