2 mo

Should I pursue him?

I would really appreciate if someone would answer for me. I'm a single woman in my late 30s. Due to several abuses I went through, I struggle with my self-esteem the whole life and it deeply effects my dating life among other things. I've never dated any guys as I usually feel so shy, nervous and not worthy whenever the guy I'm attracted to is around - so usually I got misunderstood. In terms of physical appearance, I got a feedback that I'm not that bad looking and there were a small no of guys who wanted to date me but I didn't like them.

Recently I met this coworker. He was known for being a handsome one among girls and first, I didn't have much attention/interest on him since me (with low self-esteem) automatically think he wouldn't interested in me. But, I started to notice he's always nice, pay much attention to me and try to have conversation with me a few times... so I started to say hello/ morning/ bye etc and we smiled a lot whenever we bump into each other. I started to have crush on him and I (my gut feeling) thought we had chemistry. Once we had a chance to talk (just two of us), I felt the chemistry was so intense and we both enjoy the conversation and smile the entire time... and I got a little nervous and end up cutting the conversation first (but in a nice way). After that day, the next time I see him, I don't feel any sparks between us anymore and I feel he only gives me this polite smiles. And, I noticed this woman (who has long-distance boyfriend) - who doesn't get along with me, is pursuing him. She's really good at flirting.

I'm tired of being loser in dating my entire life. Please tell me what I should do? Should I pursue him (I'm scared!) Should I stay friendly towards him even if he acts a bit withdrawn? Should I keep trying to have long conversation with him? Am I making myself a fool doing so at this age?

Any kind of suggestions/guidance will be greatly appreciated.
Should I pursue him?
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