Boyfriend wants to join frat, his girlfriend is worried. What should they do?

Amie and her boyfriend, Jed, have been together for nearly eight months. After a summer apart, they meet back together for their second year of college. Jed tells Amie he wants to join a fraternity. At first, Amie is worried; how much time will it take up of his week? Will their relationship stay the same?

Amie expresses these concerns to Jed. Jed furthers her concern by telling her that the fraternity will take up four nights of his week, as well as functions on the weekends. Amie tells him that she doesn’t want to jump to any negative conclusions without having gone through it yet, but it sounds like he won’t have any time for her anymore.

Jed asks why she’s so against it. Amie responds that she was under the assumption that men join frats for the drinking, parties, and girls. She thought she was enough for him, but he doesn’t seem to understand why she thinks this way. All she wants is for him to spend a decent amount of time with her.

Jed tries to compromise with saying he’ll come over to her house at 11 PM every night and spend the night, but has to leave at 5 AM for the gym. Amie tells him she appreciates his effort, but they wouldn’t really be spending time each other, since they’ll be sleeping. Jed begins to get angry, believing Amie isn’t understanding of him and isn’t supportive enough.

Amie tells him she’ll support him in anything he does, even things like this that she doesn’t particularly like. Jed still doesn’t understand that the only reason Amie’s upset is because he won’t be able to see her for long periods of time, or spend any quality time together. Amie is afraid their relationship will crumble as a result of him not having enough time to spend together.

She’s also afraid for him, considering he’s got a full course load, a part time job, and the fraternity to fill his time. He’ll have no free time for himself, she worries, let alone their relationship.

What should the couple do?
Boyfriend wants to join frat, his girlfriend is worried. What should they do?
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