Are we dating or in a flirtationship?

I have a friend who I have known for a month or two now, but we can't seem to stop bantering and flirting and insulting each other and play fighting. He made a huge effort to befriend all my friends and take time to talk to me and everyone said we were heading for a relationship. We ending up acting on the chemistry, and since then the play violence and flirting has only got worse. He calls me woman and pokes me and mocks me all the time, but is really nice when I am down or when we are having a serious talk. Sometimes he comments on how hot unattainable people, like celebrities are, but never other girls in front of me. When people say "Oh he likes you" in front of him, while we are mucking about, he just laughs, like a chuckle, but never confirms or denies it. I have asked him out once or twice as friend, but he has never answered. I told him I was into him, but he didn't run away or ask me out, and its so confusing. Oh, I'm 21 and he is 19 and we are at uni together.


Update: Quick update that I forgot to mention, quite a few times when I am with other guys, single or taken, he will text me or find a way to contact me to make a jibe about me and the other guy getting together or doing stuff, even when he knows we aren't.

he has just put himself into a chivalry agreement of his own making to treat me like a queen for a week,no more bantering , just plain old fashioned holding doors, pulling out chairs, all that stuff. he said he would for a week. no idea why
he still constantly insults me, but when I decide to

Ignore him or act bored of his behaviour, he tries to get my attention again and stares at me when I'm around other people, especially other guys.

I am starting to get a little bored, truth be told.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think the key to finding out if he really likes you is to keep seeing other guys apart from him. Then see how he reacts. If it is with a degree of jealousy, ie. he texts / contacts you about you seeing other guys. I'd take it as a YES, he likes you and I think you're in a flitationship right enough! He now knows for sure you like him! Hope that helps.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I'd say just keep riding along and see where it goes. Just don't get pushy with him, could wreck it.


What Girls Said 2

  • Outside of wanting to find out about his upbringing--family relationship dynamics, previous relationships, imparticularly how they ended and his version of how they treated one another. Two things come to mind, the first one, which we will assume not to be true but could be one of those "you never know" situations...he is gay and is not out of the closet. Or two, his confidence and self perception of the interaction between a girl and a guy is so mixed up and has no real foundation for him to reference as a guideline on how to treat the opposite sex. Now, since he has decided to behave like a gentleman towards you, says, he's either gotten some advice from Dr. Phil or Oprah and is trying out the advice or he's mustered up the confidence to smarten-up before it is too late. What would really help in clarifying the situation once and for all, is for him to hear from your own lips, your own heart, your thoughts and feelings on what your ideas are concerning your ideal man. You've got to give men the hints or in some, aka most, instances a flat out blueprint to what is on your mind and how you want to be treated. Describe to your friend how this dream man of yours would treat you, how you would treat him, some of the things you would do together, so on and so forth. The trick about growing up is about avoiding games (unless they are fun) and recognizing the times and signs when you need to step in and find ways into bringing out the truth and the best out of people we call friend and along the way, give Cupid a helping hand. Good Luck.

  • I'm 21 seeing someone this age. We've been dating for about two months now and I really don't know what I think or what's going on or anything. I mean I know I like him but ?!?!?

    They don't really tell you what they're thinking much. It's heaps frustrating ! It's weird I get so many mixes signals like you but overall positive vibes...

    I think they just want to see what happens kinda thing. Go with the flow and see what eventuates. ... Have you dated someone this age before? I've never dated a guy younger than me so if you have any prior experience then please share!

    (I am aware this isn't much age gap but all my boyfriends previously have been 2+ years older than me)

    • Ah! Someone in my shoes! Fab. I haven't, no, I only have dated one guy ever and he was 6 months older than me. I don't want to ask him, but it is helpful to know what's goign on. What would you say?

    • I dunno. See I would normally be pretty straight out with these things but I don't feel like I am in control of this situation. I feel like if I'm straight out about it I will get the whole "well what do you think this is" as if it should be obvious to me. O guess I'm only speculating so that doesn't help at all.

      I guess I'm trying to think of a flirty fun way to get at it indirectly and maybe start a convo about it... But that's about as far as I've got :/ any ideas

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