I'm 22- is a long-term relationship with a 32 year old man possible?

I went on a few dates with a 32 year old man from a big city and slept with him.which I usually would never do so casually. I lived there temporarily and now reside in a nearby state.

I really liked him. He asked me when he could see me next- etc. I told him it would be great if he could come visit me sometime soon- his response was "I'd love to- I'll get working on that."

What kinda response is that? I have never dated anyone over the age of 26- so I question how seriously this man takes me? I hope not a joke. I'm smart, have a good job, went to a good college, am classy, and cute.

Why wouldn't a 32 year old see me as a good catch? How often would someone really want to date a guy that old? I think he's got it good for right now.

And should I call him or text him or just wait for him too? Are men that much older any different?


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • If you are in a relationship at all or want a relationship then don't hesitate to call or text your man. It's that simple. If you want to see his pretty face or hear his pretty voice, then don't let your cell phone just sit there. These rules about who should call who and when to call are all crap. This man is old enough to not care anymore. I am sure he would be overjoyed to hear your voice at anytime.

    But can you make a long-term relationship work with him? Sure you can! Hopefully he is still a 20 year old at heart and has the same interests as a 20 year old in the year 2008. For example a 20 year old now (such as myself) grew up in the late 80s and 90s, so I am familiar with many of the movies, toys, cartoons, music, and pop culture from those 2 decades. And you should be familiar with the same things from at least the 90s. And there are certain shows geared towards your generation. Hopefully he has not lived under a rock and is familiar with some of those things from the 90s (he probably is). And if he is not familiar with some of these things then he will make references to things you might have never heard of, and he might make jokes about celebrities you don’t know and you won’t understand him. My professors who are really old try to make jokes about celebrities who died before I was born and nobody understands them. You don’t want to be in a situation where he is living in a completely different world than you are, because you will not understand the conversations. But hopefully a 10 year age difference is not a big deal, and you will be able to connect with him and you will be able to understand whatever he is talking about (and hopefully he will understand whatever you are talking about).

    For example I have seen a 20 year old girl date a 40 year old man. And she liked watching movies like “American Pie” and “Napoleon Dynamite,” and he had never heard of them. Their taste in movies alone is not what killed the couple, but it is the fact that they had so little in common and were incompatible. A generation difference can cause that (obviously). Not being familiar with the world (and decade) that each other grew up in can be an indicator of incompatibility. But it’s not a sure sign that the couple is doomed to split.

    Also there is no rule that says most men in their 30s grow up and want to settle down, because most men are immature and don't grow up for a lifetime. But the fact that you found a mature (and hopefully good looking) man is something rare. You may not meet many more mature men for the rest of your life (if any at all). So if he seems promising, hold on to him and don’t let him slip away.

    • Thanks! Yeah I have a lot of mature interests for someone who is 22. I love politics, cnn, fox, etc- I the show Mad Men, don't like dressing slutty- definitely keeping it classy. I met him through my job- I work for a financial company that works with attorneys and their clients. I met him at an event we had for lawyers we work with. I have no idea how he feels about dating me long distance- oh & IL aren't too far- should I straight up ask him if he sees us taking things further?

    • Wait until after you have been dating him for some time. Wait until you think it's a good time to ask him that question. I don't know how long you have been dating him, but don't ask that question too early and risk scaring him away.

What Girls Said 1

  • Sure, that can work. A lot of girls I grew up with ended up marrying guys about ten years older. I'm not saying it will work, but the age thing is no reason that it wouldn't.

    Older guys are a bit different in that they are more likely to be looking to settle down. A lot of them have seen all their friends get married and the single life has become boring as the amount of available friends to go out boozing has dwindled. There are some guys who never reach this stage, but most reach it somewhere around this age.

    Also, I don't think his response was bad. He said he'd love to, and it sounds like he just wants to figure out the logistics.

    • Thanks! I agree-just the last night we went out when I was in town I drank a lot and hopefully didn't come across as a typical young drunk person.

      Settling down doesn't bother me-I wouldn't be against marriage w/in the next few yrs, but I never had that convo with him so I'm not sure what he thinks. He's a lawyer and I just hope he isn't full of bullshit. I got back into town last night and spoke to him yesterday morning- should I wait for him to contact me or can I call or text him?

    • Like as in you're in the town that he's in? If that's it, I think you should totally contact him. Traveling can change a lot of expectations about male/female roles. If you're only there for a short amount of time, then you should call or text him and not feel bad about it.

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