At the same time, you have the overall religious community giving poor examples of what it really means for women and men to conduct themselves with and around each other both in private and in public. Why? Because of feminism, hyper-sexuality, as it was in ancient Rome, Egypt, Persia, Greece, etc, dominates the world over — Lawlessness and lack of sexual morality are greatly declining here in the USA ALONE, and other westernize countries and allies are equally suffering.Men are being taught to be sexually aggressive and women sexually repressive. Now when I talk about ‘repression’, I do not want comments about holding out the sex until marriage when one is a virgin being repressive. I will get to that afterward too. But the attitudes between married and unmarried people until it goes into marriage before there is NO MARRIAGE. Men no matter if their married or not are EXPECTED to be aggressive. Women are called and expected to be docile, unassuming and sexually pure. The problem with this image is that it damages everybody. It is not fair for men to be expected to never be a virgin while women MUST be a virgin. Healthy sexuality is remaining pure inside and outside both while as a virgin and even when you are sexually experienced. In other words, God’s design for human interaction sexually is purity in everything, and that includes heterosexual sexuality. This is why he condemns porn and masturbation and seeing ones nakedness before marriage. Because your ‘purity’ is jeopardized and causes problems sexually in the bedroom. When we have more than enough of this, over 70% of society NOW have this problem. We instill this into our children after it was instilled into the US, and were creating a dangerous demonic and destructive cycle.
Women now are embodying everything regarding sexuality: sexual aggressive, repression [if your already sexually active], obsessive and oppressive. Men are also falsely taught that they're sexually repressed as virgins as women are, and that is false. As a virgin, I can contest that there is no such thing for virgins because we never had sex. Repression is for the sexually active. You can’t repress something you never had. Libido doesn’t work that way and the body can care less if you desire sex or not. You simply don’t have to do it if that is not what YOU overall desire to do no matter why or how. That myth needs to end if we expect things to get healthy. Virgin shaming is another problem linked to this. No virgin says 'I never had sex in quite a while'. Libido for virgins mostly, change due to diet, stress, age, and environment. Occasionally poor perceptions about sex. But for nonvirgins, its everything, but mostly lacking healthy sex in their lives. Bodily needs are VERY different. Leading to #3.3. Selfish desires is another reason why men lack confidence! I have dealt with so many constantly arguing with me from what I hear is selfish sexual desires. Why? Because the law premits sexual consent from ages 13-18 but no marriage without parental consent under 18 years old. THAT is a PROBLEM. Many years ago before 13-year-olds were allowed to marry with permission, there were no such consent laws. Because it was expected that you got married before having sex, and if you didn't, you would be forced to marry her especially if she got pregnant, the man/boy [13-year-olds were MEN, not boys] probably got sued. And further back in time stoned to death. They didn't play. You either treated their daughter right, or that was it. Now, it is no longer like that for most 'men'. Now men are demonized no matter what they do. Everything is wrong with men. Women get similar treatment but harsher treatment is towards men as a whole. This is bad.
This also leads to my issue that Women get treated like sex toys. If men did what was done in the past, ask parents for permission, boundaries were set sexually, etc, and the intent was presently given, many men and women would not SUFFER. As a pastor and few guys have spoken out about, is that men today are deliberately trying to take daughters away from their parents to mold them into their sexual taste. Hence why they do NOT want to meet the parents. Parents can protect their daughters IF done rationally. There are too many wolves out here. And because men have lost their place at the home, he has to deal with a daughter's heartbreak and can't give her advice on how to deal with toxic men and wolves because what can he say or judge? He was a wolf himself. He banged girls and her mom's too. Shaming the other guys who whored his daughter would make him a hypocrite. This is how backward this has become.
4. Men have very low self-esteem, like girls, based on the status of his penis and whether or not he is involved or having sex. From my experience, it is horrible that not only I have to keep a heavy guard up around men, both shy and timid and aggressive and haughty all because they can't talk to me. I have met guys who feel entitled to have sex with me because I'm 'pretty' when all I ask is a friendship, and THEN see if it's possible to date. Yet they want to know why they have a problem with women and say we switch up often. I find this to only be true because men switch often. When men expected women to remain virgins until marriage, many women were on the bandwagon. Now that men are expecting sex before marriage, that leaves so many women confused and they chase men for commitment and a relationship by giving away free sex. Yet again, we women are the problem? Did I also forget to mention that men's self-esteem is so shot that if I try to be gentle and give a guy the platonic love he needs he either shuts down or get hostile? It's that toxic! I can't even smile at a guy without people assuming I want to have sex with/date him or something. Also toxic sociology.
I cannot even talk to a guy by the approach to start a friendship without even getting anybody the idea that I am trying to date him. Now if I say friendship, he thinks friendzone and denies friendship. This is a big no-no for men. This is why women and girls hate having male friends trying to date them and now have poor views of men too. Friendship is essential, especially platonic for everybody. Romantic friendships are wholesome and healthy. It should not be forsaken gentlemen. Friendships with the opposite sex, especially when healthy boasts CONFIDENCE. Most people with unhealthy friendships have toxic relationships. Its a given. To call women users because they value your attention, handiwork etc is disingenuous and hurtful. Toxic people loves to step in and hurt your chances at good relationships with the opposite sex. Yes, girls love to receive attention [as long as it's healthy], to be pampered [AS LONG AS ITS HEALTHY], to be seen as special especially through chivalry [AS LONG AS IT'S HEALTHY!!]. But what's not healthy when a woman feels entitled for wrong reasons, is vain and greedy and uses everybody. To assume all girls who ask for friendship only sees you as a friend is wrong! Men, you MUST communicate! Sacrificing your wants and needs for hers is the only way you will ever win a woman's heart let alone her hand. We are worth it as you are worth it. I do not understand how men lacking the confidence to talk to me is so difficult if all they have to do is be kind, be themselves, unique and come CORRECT. If men dumped the idea of getting sex out of their minds, they would have better relationships with women. This is why many men who don't seek out/chase sex often end up getting it eventually. Also, they keep going after women, when they should work out building connections with one woman and branch out. Build personal relationships and getting to know women will get a lot easier. Don't put the cart before the horse!
@btbc92 I hear what you are saying but men want a relationship friendship because we are made to procreate, very few men are interested in being your friend and not pursuing you for anything else. What your wanting is dam near impossible for me to comprehend. You get sex or you get a relationship. Friendship is friendzone, but mainly that's so much effort to get nothing out of it, your asking way too much of any guy
Actually that is where you get everything very much Twisted. Has nothing to do with you being make appropriate. But the fact that you choose to use it as an excuse to have such poor Behavior towards women as a whole. We are not made simply just to procreate. We are human beings with thoughts, emotions, and feelings are my own too. If she does not desire that, and you said you care about, then what is it really? Do you care about her and when she feels or do you care about getting what you want out of her? Have nothing to do with being near impossible is the fact that you choose not to do it. And when you choose not to do it that's what we cut you off altogether. There is no such thing as a friend zone. You develop as a friend and getting to know each other. You use that as a chance to see if there is compatibility with each other. Just because your friends doesn't mean you going to be compatible with everybody. That's not asking much for a guy. It's a simple matter of just doing it or don't. We're not supposed to be having sex before marriage in the first place. That's asking way too much for women. There is no you get sex will you get relationship. You form and build relationships with others from the ground up. If it's too hard for you then that simply means you don't need to be in a relationship with anybody until you actually learn how to properly form relationships with others. Because it's simply not hard for somebody like me who values relationships. Men who are not interested in being a friend are simply interested in sex. That's why women don't want anything to do with guys. Because they don't want to be used for sex in relationships. It doesn't matter if the desired is there or not. We want to be loved and treated with respect. There are so many women out there who what promise things that were never kept from Men. When you come with motives like that that's what makes women not trust men at all.
That's not a relationship friendship. A relationship friendship is where something a relationship friendship is where something is innocent in nature. Not provocative or erotic in nature. A woman should not have to be in a dating environment bearing that a guy is going to touch her inappropriately or trying to have sex with her when that's not what she's looking for. That's not what that's for. There's a good reason why traditional roles were set up. To protect the interests and the Investments of both the male and a female and their families. If your Investments and interest is not her Investments as interest then you're simply wasting time pursuing her.
Fearing*This is why instead of a woman picking her Suitor, the family pick suitors for her. That's why I missed the very old days of the early 1900s and earlier when men were taught to be chivalrous towards women. Who had good intentions and focused on building strong emotional bonds and had good standards.
If you feel that is that hard that means that you need to work on your character. There is a lot of selfishness you need to give up if you ever expect to have healthier attitudes towards women and people. You need to learn how to properly Court a woman.
you seem to have a lot of time on your hands thinking about these kinds of things, however, the question was 'why do men lack confidence with women.' would you please shorten your answer into a thesis statement so that I may properly understand your position on this issue.
If you have to ask me to Short in anything then that's why a lot of you men have problems with women. I simply answered the question. You lack confidence because you don't understand how a woman works and what a woman needs in her life. And that's the number one issue right here you not listening. The position on this issue is everything. There is nothing to shorten.
it seems to me you have a bitter attitude towards men, and me in particular, even though we have not met. I'll take your answer to really mean that, men lack confidence because they do not understand how a woman thinks and what she really needs in her life, as there is no way we could possibly know each other. I would say that is a very good answer and concur with your findings. perhaps you should ask yourself why you assumed my curiosity to argumentative. if confusion is the overall explanation to this issue then perhaps women learning to be more vocal and clear with their intentions, and men becoming more understanding to others...
however, your response troubles me greatly, perhaps with this in mind, a new perspective can be seen on your previous engagements with members of the opposite gender
See this is a major problem that I have with you people. I don't have a better attitude towards men. I left my bitterness long time ago. I don't find your curiosity be argumentative. It's something that's just very simple. The problem is even if a woman is vocal your intentions is very clear. As I had to tell another female user, men only approach women for sex. Not going to approach a woman out of friendship. And that is the problem. There are two different ideals regarding both sexes. And our ideals don't match because they don't come in concurrently as it used to be. It is a toxic environment when men feel entitled to premarital sex in women getting into sexual situations that they now regret and they can't be responsible for own personal decisions. But blame men for everything that they choose to do.
Bitter attitude towards men*Because what I wrote is the Pinnacle of issues that men do not want to hear. And that many women refuse to voice out because they don't want to be judged by Society. No matter what a woman talks about when she speaks about these things you want to call it bitter. And it's not bitterness.
If you see my response troubles you, then you need to really pay attention to what is being said and not try to current by asking a person to shorten it. Because no amount of shortening it as I said before is going to change anything. Problems with you people you just want to do whatever it is that you want and you don't really want to listen. Because it's based on actions not words.
Curve it by asking*
it is true, men do have the tendency to seek and experience sex if they havnt tried it or desire sexual gratification for themselves, as at times women do as well, and have no hindsight to see that they hurt the person they left behind. however that is not the way to see every person of that gender afterwards
assuming me to be a sex-crazed male who doesn't listen is doing just that.
Did I say that you were sex-crazed male. I'm sorry but that's basically your perception that you're Gathering From Me Out of offense and defensive attitude. If you're not waiting for marriage to have sex than sadly that's exactly what the issue is. As I said before if things was done as God's way we would not have this problem. I made no assumption. I simply told you that you're not really listening. And just by you making that Assumption of me alone shows and proves you're not listening. There is nothing wrong with having curiosity for sex. But that time and place for it is within a marriage. Not within a dating or courting relationship. You would know what was being said if you read even just the first paragraph of the original posting. Develop a friendship, when you have a courtship then decide if marriage is the place for you. Because sex is a marriage and marriage is all about having sex. And if you have sex with a person outside of marriage you're screwing up not only your life but you're screwing up that person's life too. That's the point that I am making. Where there is sexual immorality, there is trouble.
That's not the point. Nobody is trying to say that everybody sees a certain gender or certain way. It again boils down to intentions. If your intentions are not good and there is no rational and logical reason behind him and you're not being honest and authentic with what it is that you're seeking, you're going to cause problems in your relationship with others. I tell every guy that approaches me that if you are seeking for a sex before marriage that is not happening. I believe in young marriages as long as the person is of age, and that person is willing to stick to their vows. Relationship requires trust and stability. That's what women needs is simply a given it's not that hard to understand. It just baffles me that this is a constant reminder not just about communication but that this is what women needs and just sounds like to me that a lot of you are still not listening. Because many of you find what I got to say to be religious and prudish when it's actually truth.
Men of very unaware of the destructive patterns that happens when you choose to imprint on sexual encounters outside of marriage. This is why so many men are miserable sexually, have erectile dysfunctions, and can't even handled their relationships with their partners and wives. And this in turn leads to divorce. And caused these women to go wild and remain sexually unfaithful. The Bible is very clear about the consequences of these things and actions that people take is wickedness. As much as it hurts me is not my problem the others want to destroy himself sexually. But I'll be damned if somebody try to destroy me that way. I'm a virgin this long for a good reason. And that's me loving myself too much to just give myself to just anybody who missed handles others and themselves.
I'm trying to help you and understanding your reasoning, but your making it very difficult to do so. I bid you a good day, ma'am.
What are you trying to help me with? My standards are clear. And my stance is clear. If you can't understand my reasoning then maybe you need to read the Bible sir. Because my reasoning comes from the Lord, not my own.And it all boils down to what kind of women you men want. Ladies or whores? Because it's very clear from what I'm seeing you guys keep going after the ladder. And still seek a lady then get pissed when a lady gives you men too many chances and leaves, or she shuts you down because you we're too busy playing the field while you were younger.
I'm not making anything difficult. It's really not that hard to understand. If you feel that I'm making you out to be something that you're not then no offense but that's simply your problem. Because I made it very clear that I made no assumptions of you.
This is what I have experienced so far. Totally agreed. Men don't want to talk, but only want sex from women (well, me). I think maybe they get used to having free sex, assuming it's the norm, interacting with women with sexually inappropriate manners. They don't have to put any efforts to get to know a woman, just puking "I like you." and see who's dumb enough to buy it and give away her body right away. How possible a man saying that to a woman who he can't have a friendship with? It's purely physical. Men don't understand that mental connection matters. *By the way, can I have your answer as a reference, please? I'll post it for others to see, on a social media. You have everything I would like to say.
an excellent point, and that type of male behaviour shouldn't be rewarded and hopefully as they mature they will learn not to treat women with only lustful intentions. I think perhaps still these men should be given a second chance to become friends with the woman they covet, and if they can't ask respectfully then the relationship will end. I have plenty of friends that are girls but it seems that many women have this one size fits all attitude when it comes to men, and that's just unfair and incorrect.
@el_Te_de_la_RosaYes, you may! 😄
Thank you. Have great days. We'll meet good people from now on!
Those are good points. People actually put the time and effort into meeting people a long time ago. You can now easily swipe on someone and change your mind in seconds and go back to watching Netflix. It's a vicious cycle for sure.
@coachTanthony You're right.
Yes, it's very dehumanizing. It objectifies people, distances them, makes it easier to judge them harshly, and therefore easier to dismiss them, not accept them, treat them more as an object to be rated and quantified.It has been said on gag that there was a poll done on some dating site (I forget which one) where the females rated 80% of the men "below average", which is, of course, statistically/mathematically impossible. This is really sad and unfortunate, and shows a harsh critiquing of attractiveness. I don't know if similar polls have been done with men and what they would conclude, but I doubt the results would be thaaat much more satisfying to all. I believe the reason is simply the platforms on which dating mostly begins/occurs now, are in and of themselves structured to begin (stressing 'begin') with looks. But the larger the photo, the more emphasis on it, the less people ever get to any stage 2. Which also brings me back to 'the paradox of choice' - the seemingly endless stream of options available to all, which therefore creates less acceptance of any minor/could be overlooked in person if all else seemed appealing... flaws. And 'the paradox' is about the idea that an abundance of choice actually creates more stress, and decision fatigue, then if there were fewer choices available.
As an online dating coach I know that the online dating poll is very accurate. Women aren't judging men and their attractiveness they are judging their lack of attractive photos. Men could do much better with photo display but choose to put up shitty photos to be judged. So they got judged and now are complaining about it. Women expect a man to have their shit together and that includes a simple online dating profile and photos. They sent a message and Men didn't listen... they cried instead.
Ahhh very interesting. "Women aren't judging men and their attractiveness they are judging their lack of attractive photos. " Good point. We need to spread that information around - it could be valuable to men. Yes, I have observed that women tend to spend a lot of time taking way more photos, use filters, have friends critique and take the photos of them, whereas guys do much less of all that.
@coachTanthony Just one more comment from me, and I am done - I wanted to say thanks for the MHO, Anthony. I normally don't say anything about it, but I have to admit I am particularly proud that on such a long and important string, you chose my post as one to feature. I have never come across a question with (at this point) 216 commenters. Is that a record? It got extremely heated, but nevertheless, an important topic to bring up. And I'm somewhat content to see that of all your multiple choice options, the "Confused on what today's woman really wants in a man" was voted the highest. That is a reasonable issue to have, and one that can potentially be repaired. Culture seems to be in huge disarray at the moment, but perhaps the dust will settle in the future.
I always pick the best answers! Wink! And I think I’ve had over 600 commenters once before so... anyway thanks again for responding!
Ahhh. And what was that topic/q, may I ask? Link?
Not sure... probably about cheaters lol that always gets a ton of responses !
Ha! Yes I've noticed that's one thing people can unite on! (And yet, so many cheaters still. One must do the math...)
What do you think it is that is blocking you from such a connection?
A very interesting story, @bimmy5000! It is sad you had a tough time at school and afterwards. Despite me being the opposite of you at school and afterwards, in the end I experience a similar problem. I have never been bullied possibly due to my sheer size as I was bigger and physically stronger than any bully at school, I am good-looking, and I totally ignored any form of typical teenager competition/dominance challenges at school which often lead to unnecessary violence (fights) as one side does not knlw how to lose. However, I also find it difficult to establish close friendships as I do not relate to people easily, and my relationships are rare as I seem to "miss"/not notice any signals sent by the opposite sex unless they are rather direct in their approach which probably leads them to think I am not interested. I do not seem to have any disorders as I've been checked by various psychologists and neurologists. So yeah, no idea why it is happening, but I wish it were different...
I’ve lived the same life as you my friend. I understand and feel your pain!I’ve been working on it since I was 13. I’m 33 now and only recently starting to understand how to be around people.I’m out of the house now and the app is trash. So I can’t type a nice response. But when I get home if you want I could try and help you out. I’ve come a long way personally. If you wanna tell me more about how you feel and experience people, and when I get home I could try to help you out. I feel your pain. You deserve to be loved by people too!
CoachTanthony for me I'm not sure, it's like the fight or flight is always in effect and it's always choosing flight. Other times it might not be but if I'm talking g to someone for a bit it's like I'm already thinking of excuses to go cause I'm already exhausted talking to them. Like we like all the same things but there's no click. If it's a group it gets a it easier as I am not center of attention but because of that I'm an absolute wall flower most of the time. I just can't connect. Last person I really was comfortable hanging with was a high school buddy, but killed himself in 2006. No one else since.
You are already of thinking of excuses to go. You are already thinking of excuses to go. You are already thinking of excuses to go. These are not excuses my friend. These are self preservation of a deeper fear... once you figure out what that is.. you will be free but until you do it means nothing. I know because I have been there.
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Sorry, but being nice while rejecting them will give them a hint that you are just playing around or sh*t testing them, so they will keep trying to because they think its just a game you are pulling. You have females to blame for this because of some like that type of thing.
@Ljd213 I am always in favor of a soft approach first because there are enough people that start immediately by being rude or impolite.If I tell them off in an improper way, I will also be labeled as cold bitch and just add me to the long list of those that do deserve that adjective and name.But perhaps you are right, I should start first being rude and see how the message is understood.
I am not saying being rude at an instant. You'll look crazy and like a red flag towards other people except for your friends. I rather say to walk away if they can't understand the word "no" in a nice way.
@Ljd213 Walk away is nice. If you are in a constricted or closed room, they sooner or later will be obnoxious again. When you are outside, that is the best action of course
I think the only way would be to not wear attractive clothes. And I don't know why girls don't get this point. Flies will always jump on exposed honey!
Doesn't matter if a woman wears attractive clothing though, a lot of guys just have this odd mentality to just go for it until it becomes a problem. Like the word no isn't a statement or a request but a challenge and can be real sore losers should they perceive they are losing or have lost.
@alex_x988 You have no idea to what extend I go to be left alone. No make-up, don't wash my hair and put on baggy clothes.But when hormones call, I guess anything is good enough ;-)
Nope that way you must be getting significantly lesser attention honey😏
@alex_x988 Thanks for your input.But that is exactly what I want. I want NO attention.
Men will be men baby 😏
@alex_x988 Unfortunately I agree with you and I experience it every day.
Even here on gag someone wants you 😉. Life's so easy for women 😪
@coachTanthony And what's your idea?
I agree. The generalization is too broad. You have to narrow it down.
Let me clarify that I actually mean this for both men and women.
No I meant like, generalizing by race/nationalityBLACK MenMEXICAN Men
And my favorite, Pervert INDIAN men
I didn't think she was talking about race. But I could be wrong.
@Jamie05rhs She wasn't I'm teaching her how to properly generalize people
LOL I just meant that the question was about MEN lacking confidence but it applies both ways. Or all says, if you want to include race and other factors
OH...So you think men EVERYWHERE lack a confidence?Men have been pussified.BUT... whatever confidence they once had must've transferred over to me. :p
@SydneySentinel I think I'm with you on this, I purposely only ask questions where I want to learn about the individual, I never bump into someone in real life and expect them to answer for their race, their gender, their sexuality, their age etc but on here questions are asked expecting them to answer for a whole stereotype. I just want to learn about each individual, I think generally people are fascinating and most have their own story to tell, so why generalise.
No. I think people have reservations about wanting to date or have a relationship in general.Glad to know you're a confident man, @ZeussLightningBolt.
@AndrewMG Same!! Although I will be the first to admit that I've been guilty of generalizing before.
I wasn't always this confident, Ms. RayI used to run FROM hot girlsNow I run TO hot girls
@SydneySentinel Haven't we all mate! lol
That is for damn sure!
Mothers don't want strong sons. They want obedient sons.
They may want their sons to be successful businessmen, so that gold diggers can leech off from them /pessimism off
Who was the so called famous female dating coach? Ill be the judge LOL.
Myself and the other woman I was talking to basically figure we'll just be ourselves and see what happens.
Do you know the name of the famous female dating coach?
I don't remember the name. She wrote a book and I think her first name is Katrina or something. the woman who was telling the story didn't agree with the method she had just been invited by someone else to go listen.
Okay cool... there are many great coaches out there. Just curious on who she was referring too.
I dont understand why someone considers herself a dating coach? Have they been very successful in picking up men?
@Freezer110 who knows. Most of the dating coaches for my age just basically tell women to give into the fact the men our age are more traditional and we just have to live with it.
Damn I'd love it if the woman took charge at times. No flipping guessing or mind games, just right into whatever it is she wanted with no hints or vague ideas.
I don't guy want girl take the lead. Like calling for check or telling how horny she is. If she dateable guy can tell easy
@bimmy5000 I only know of maybe one or two male dating coaches for women who advocate that. One is Mark Rosenfeld. I think as we women age most of us tire of wasting time. I'm wondering if it's only men under 40 who want women to lead part of the time or at least show they are interested. I guess I hear stories mostly from younger men since those are the guys who show up to the interest meetups I attend. I'm not sure if men my age would want the same thing.
What the hell is a "lean back", if I may ask?
That dating coach you mentioned doesn't sound good.I watch a lot of reality TV (real stuff, not scripted), which all focus around relationships (all types of relationships). I can tell you that of the dating coaches, and I've seen a ton, they are not giving any outrageous or different or new or worse advice in 2019. They are giving the same advice and 'rules' I have always heard. Someone writing a book has to come up with something new, some catchphrase, some new concept that will be 'the hook'. But in the real world, under normal conditions, people still want (basically) the same things - be nice, be cool, show interest if there is any, don't play games, meet me half way, and be honest about your intentions. (Except for all the people who just wanna f**** nowadays - wth is up with that. No wonder STD's are rampant.) Let's face it, half the dating population doesn't do all of these things (0+0 doesn't equal 2). And people are confused why it's not working out for them? Just go back to basics, people. It's not rocket science. Did you forget how to be a nice human... and by the way if it's not glaringly obivous by now, you have to also put your heart out there a little too, both sexes. Both sexes.
@AmandaYVR 27% of all new HIV cases are 50+ adults. I guess people aren't wearing condoms or asking for lab tests. I've talked to women around my age and they seem a bit clueless about being careful.
@anonymous Yikes! Put a raincoat on it.
@Jamie05rhs show interest then back off a bit. I guess it is like dangling a carrot to see if the man pursues. Seems like a lot of wasted energy.
If men had the confidence to leave toxic women then that would solve it too.
Well I think maybe you are saying Men were led to believe they could do online dating and play outside of their league. And that just don't happen.
Girls also have competition because of the internet and because travel is easier than it was in the past. Girls have competition from all around the world because some men will only date foreign girls. Most people will date people within their own country but more guys are choosing international dating or travel to meet a foreign girl.
Women reject. It's part of the game for any (mostly) monogamistic (biologically evolved) primate. Yes, we screw around like Bonobos, but the human biological model is monogamy. Our offspring are too resource-intense for us to survive as a species any other way (with a fringe of non-compliers). That means females actually do the mate selecting, so they biologically are very picky. Successful males just move on from rejection to rejection until they find a female that's loopy enough at that particular moment to not reject him. Then it's monkey sex, offspring, repeat the cycle.Industrialization and effective birth control screwed all that up totally, but the biological imperatives still exist, so women are hardwired to be picky. Unfortunately, many men somehow lost the hard wiring to just not let it get to them.
"Play outside their league". My wife is TOTALLY outside my league, dude! TOTALLY. There are times when it completely pisses her off, then there are the times when she realizes that the guys who are in her league wouldn't bother doing the things for her that I love to do.
That's actually kind of true
@ZeussLightningBolt, she sometimes tells her whiny, physically hot, LONELY female friends that they want to go for nerds, total geeky nerds. They're the men who will end up worshiping the hot girl forever, even when she gets old and not hot. Do they listen to her? No. Are they still single and miserable? Yes.
Love the phrase playing outside their leaque. Gotta use it some time.
That reminds me, my friend and I met a girl in a dota game few years ago, she used voice chat during the game, the moment he identified she was a girl he proceeded to capslock flame her all game and suicide to the enemy base to prove his devotion to her. Somehow it worked and they added each other. A month later he was on the plane from the UK to Romania to meet her. 4 months later they went to Fiji together for 2 weeks. 6 months later she moved to England, got a job and they have been living together for a few years now. They were married last week. How can her local guys ever compete 🤔
@IlyaTheImpaler, by not being pussies?
@purplepoppy On the other hand, you need to ask yourself why did he need to expand his search to 50 miles? I bet he's not doing nearly as well as you think he is in his local area either. And 'hot' is completely subjective. I've tested this many times. I'm sure of it now.
Too much logic dude... stop making so much sense. Ha
Advice for men who can't handle not scoring:Keep score, actual score, of your strikeouts.Do play-by-play running commentary when you do strike out.Whenever you strike out, do an improv performance of KC and the Sunshine Band's "Boogie Man", while dancing away.If you strike out all night long, cheer and shout "PERFECT SCORE!".If you get hit with a retort that is really SHARP, respond with "SICK BURN!" and congratulate her.
Things like this can happen for sure!
Growing up with a toxic mother is in a similar realm.
I'm sorry. I accidentally touched dislike. And I'm sorry for what happened to you. Wish you wouldn't meet that kind of person again. Fight!! 😤 Keep improving yourself physically and mentally.
and we all know exactly what you all want and that is why so many of us are avoiding you all at all cost
@CasaNorba I feel a bit personally attacked with the word you. Lol.
you did sounded like you were speaking on behalf of all women out there
@CasaNorba I know. I was lol most.
Hahaha. NO. Don't believe him. Not all Asian ladies are like that.
And the same for MGTOW. What on earth has that got to do with men's confidence?If some men choose to do their own thing - fine. But how does that affect some other chap?
The only way to find out is to ask the question. Many men have claimed that this movement is toxic and have men giving up on women all together. I want to know why and have listed it as a choice. Not here to debate the movement itself. Thanks for the comment.
Getting sucked into the MGTOW movement could be one way someone embraces their lack of confidence.
@ differentpixel , Men worry metoo will go too far.I'm all for more people reporting assault etc.But it's not just that, they try to enforce their own justice.I agree some cases can be slow but with no evidence or witnesses you can't be fast on these cases or you risk jailing an innocent.It's also got into attacking men who any woman says is a rapist. Leave the justice to the court, just positively reinforce the assumed victim to speak out and go to court, don't berate the assumed attacker.Besides rape is an attackers issue that has female victims.People go about solving it all wrong.You aren't going to stop it by protecting the victims.You will stop it by preventing it from even happening.Which means developing men's mental health stigmas, so they can talk to someone instead of taking there issues out in others. As well as education, but I think all men know rape is bad already.
@differentpixel I don't understand anyone's issue with the #MeToo movement, either. It's pretty simple: Don't rape.
Unrealistic expectations? Do you not even understand the term unrealistic expectation. Of course these guys aren't going to read all of this because they don't care! It has nothing to do about attention span men have. I know perfectly well what an attention span man has it's up to him to decide how much of he really wants something that he goes get it. We know this is real life nobody told him about fairy tales and all this other nonsense. It's about the what you choose to do. You are an adult and you got to make adult choices. if you can figure this out within a year and you and this person have the standards, the morals, the principles, the faith, belief, religion, and anything else that aligns then you don't wait anymore if that's what both you and this person desire. It's all about how badly you really want to form a relationship with this person. And for some people it takes time. Nobody's saying for you to wait 10 years to figure this out. That's why you think about these things while you're children and not allow idiotic adults try to tell you that you're too young to think about these things. You are never too young to learn and to grow and mature into the type of person you want to be as an adult. Now wait until you're 18 or 21 years old to figure these things out and then you still don't know what you want. I knew as a child what kind of person I needed and wanted in a man. What I'm realizing it a lot of you men do not want to do what's right by a woman and you get pissed when a woman says what she says. And then you see men get jealous when she starts dating and having sex and marrying or even having kids with that other person.
So come on. This is not unrealistic standards I'm speaking about. Unrealistic standards is when a woman wants a blonde hair blue-eyed person or once a man of a specific stature or physical race. That's unrealistic standards. What I have and what you're trying to say is that I have high standards. And you got that daggone going for real I have high standards. I only believe in being with one person and with one person that got approved is who you stick with for the rest of your life. The problem with you people, you keep hopping back and forth with different people and you still don't know what you want. If you only you knew the kind of damage you're doing to yourself and others.
You men act just like unwise women who do dumb stuff and make us sane women go insane.
The only reason why you are suffering as men because you make too many freaking complaints about what you got to do as men. How long do you think women are going to tolerate that? Plenty of times I had said I would have been married as young as 18 but these guys did not want what I wanted and needed. They did not want to get married young. They did not want to wait until marriage to have sex. They did not want to get married at least within a year or two of dating. So that is not my fault. It was I that I had premarital sex with them and chose to shack up with them before marriage or no marriage at all, or else they was not going to give me commitment. So please don't give me that BS.
Either I had premarital sex*I got shut down for having Godly principles. Not for having unrealistic expectations. You men can meet those expectations if you do whatever it is you got to do for yourself. But you don't. And you don't want to. It's all about choice in this life. I respect men who say their dogs, then men who say they want to do right by women but act like cowards. And still can't even keep not one woman in their life. That's sad.
And the point out your hypocrisy, if you say you're not wasting time then where's your wife? If you don't know how to keep a person, then you just simply wasting your time trying to get one. One thing I refuse to do is to date will be with somebody I am not compatible with. Understand the meaning of the terminology before throwing it out there.
@btbc92 sex is not a reward. You really want a guy to wait til he marries you to determine you suck at something as important as sex? You might also not sex but that is a huge gamble because once your married and find that out you got to live with it or divorce (a headache) their is so many options these days that nobody is going to take that gamble, I would not take that gamble even if I loved a woman although keep in mind I'm divorced already but my wife never denied me anything related to sex I asked or wanted and we had sex hundreds of times before marriage so that is the opposite of you but I'd never have married her a virgin
@btbc92 you talk too much. Good luck with your man hunt but you talk so much that it stresses me out and this is just here I can't even imagine you in real life I might eat a revolver ugh
Excuse me!! Since when has sex became a competition! First of all you don't go ahead and get married for you to get a divorce. If you went ahead and got a divorce then you're the one that stupid. That's why you have problems with your marriage because you chose to do that crap before you got married. You're the idiot and you're the one that destroyed your marriage. You should have married her a virgin otherwise you would have been able to keep your wife. You did not love your wife. Hate to say it but that's not my problem you don't cherish your wife over sex.
I'm not on no Manhunt. Because men like you disgust me enough. Has nothing to do about me talkin so much. You just simply don't care! That's why you're divorced. I think God I'm celibate. I rather die alone and die a virgin then going to be stuck with you people. Can't even hold a marriage you got nerve to lecture me. No offense buddy but that's why you have no marriage and that's why you don't have no wife.
@btbc92 And before you let your shpeal out I filed for divorce in 2017 because I married her at 18 and she was too young to get married, I'm not mad because now I can fuck anyone I want again:)
Sorry, but sex is a reward in marriage, and it's a reward you gladly share with your spouse.
She was a virgin I just didn't wait until after we were married to fuck her like your wanting 😂
That's a load of BS! Stop using age as an excuse budding. You are never too old or young to be married. Neither you or her can handle marriage.
@btvc92 no one will ever marry someone who thinks sex is a reward, your very close minded I would commit suicide if you were my wife because it would be torture to deal with that mentality
You are utterly disgusting as a human being! Now you ruined her life because you couldn't wait anymore. Can you never love that woman. You never loved anybody. And anyone talked about how you can screw anybody. Then you should have never got married to her. You should have never touched her. You should allow her to find somebody who is going to love her and cherish her. Because you had no desire and cherishing anybody. You just wanted to get your penis served. I feel sorry for her she got involved and married a fraud. You literally are a Thief. I am literally hurt for that woman all because you wanted to turn her into your whore.
You know I would be torture because you don't know how to love. You probably don't even know how to have sex properly! What you don't. If that was not a reward, people wouldn't be getting married for centuries, let alone be having children or even bother to be touching the opposite sex in first place. That just goes to show how much of a loser you really are.
Has nothing to do what you wanted to commit suicide. You had no business being mad in the first place. And first of all you already married to her because the moment you stuck your penis into her you already made her your wife illegally. So there would have been no backing out from that.
How old are you? @ btbc92
Wow I didn't turn her into a whore she was showing unfaithful tendencies so I divorced her
I would never treat my husband if I had got married way how you treated your ex wife. I can't even call her your wife because she deserve better. I pray she's with somebody who does do better than you. And how old do you think I am I'm 27 years old soon be 28. I don't see how my age have anything to do with it. You are the age that you are and you still act like you're a freaking horny teenager. Really pathetic.
No I said suicide if I was YOUR husband @btbc92
How do you think she showed Unfaithful Tendencies, because you already screwed her before marriage you dumb dumb? She learned it from you through sex. You don't see how much premarital sex really damages a woman. And first of all, you decide to have sex with her before marriage she is a harlot at that point. So yes you did.
And you wish you could have me @btbc92 your most definitely going to want your first experience to be a much smaller dick than mine or your first sexual experience will end in the ER, you could not handle my dick, although maybe your mouth could to shut you up @btbc92 😃
I know what you said about that. That's not my problems that's the way how you feel because that's how you always felt. That's why you should have been loose from the beginning and you should have never been involved with her.
First of all I want you. Your a hoe. You don't see how much disgusting how much of a pervert you really are. Posting that drivel on here. I can even constitute what you're doing as sexual harassment you pig! I don't wish I can have somebody like you. You too dirty for me.
I don't want you*
@btbc92 she wanted to have sex not me, so you don't even know what your talking about, she insisted and she was already freakier than I imagined, what's funny is how it's always all the man's fault and you and other woman are so innocent, you crack me up but I'm also thankful you ain't my broad. Like I said, whoever marries you is getting punished for whatever they have done in life
You just called me a 🐖
And I don't treat men based on who they are sexually! I treat them as people and I treat them how they desire to be treated! I care more about the heart then somebody so-called size! What matters is that I love them for their spirit. You care so much about a performance get a hoe.
Ok I will
Thanks for the permission, you know at first @btbc92 I thought you were just a talk too much psycho femenist but now that you gave me permission to have a ho I think your alright @btbc92 🤣
It don't matter what she wanted! You knew better. And now you got what you got. And I think I already made it clear before then nobody has to worry about that because I'm not interested in getting married at all! There is something seriously wrong with you people. And yes I did call you a pig because you really are. And if you got a call a woman a broad that's how disgusting you really are as a person. Nobody ever said it had nothing to do with being a man's fault all the time. And no no woman is all innocent either. But you still knew. Therefore you are still just as guilty. Just as she is guilty for choosing to be naive and ignorant of the choices she choose to make.
You don't need my permission. You are a grown ass man you need to be responsible your own decisions. And first of all I'm not no feminist. You can thank them for the way how women are behaving you getting what you're getting. Because if it wasn't for feminism you wouldn't be getting sex outside of marriage.
You got some nerve to be saying that about her, and judge her for something that even you do and allow. You are a male version of a feminist.
@btbc92 as much as you go back an forth with me it's like we are having word sex haha, does it turn you on to talk this much? I bet you get ignored a lot huh? It's ok I think I understand, your just lonely because of all these men rejecting you for lack of sex, my best advice is you better get good at blow jobs if you want any quality dates, @btbc92
What in the world are you even talkin about? Is your mind at Twisted that you got to try to make up stuff just to feel validated for what you do? Who said anything about me being lonely? I am perfectly capable of handling things on my own and I don't need to be involved with this crap. And first of all I don't do any of that crap. And last I checked I'm a lady not a whore. And first of all I don't like those kind of men anyway I don't even call them men. Not interested in dogs. Them rejecting me lets me know there's better out there. And I can care less about being ignored I actually prefer it. Save me the trouble of having to kick some dudes butt for harrassment.
Are you sure you replied on the right person? @btbc92 what in the hell are you talking about? I can show you some twisted shit though, you ever tried anal sex since your trying to keep your virginity intact? You can still have sex in your ass
Do you even know what the hell you're talkin about! I find it laughable that you are telling me all this garbage and you don't even know what sex is. Anal sex is sex you idiot. Virginity is a state of your mind not just your body! Any form of exchange of bodily fluid is sexual contact there for you are no longer a virgin. Go back to sex ed class! And I am not going to be having some homosexual acts being done. It called gay sex for a reason. That's how you get tons of disease. Your penisn of mouth don't belong there. Study Anatomy. And that's how you also transfer parasitic worms. Omg.
And I have met plenty of gentlemen that don't treat women like you do. I can see why plenty them has said not to pay attention to guys like you. And second of all, I'm the one that rejects them. They just get mad because I said no to sex before marriage. And I most certainly do not want to get some disease. Glad that my late mother taught me better before she died of cancer caused by HPV. It's a shame how you men sell yourself short. I can very much attract men as I always done without the need of sex and flaunting myself. And a good amount happen to love the fact that I never been doing those nasty things you suggesting for me to do. Anybody tries to suggest anything like that and run for the Hills! That's filth man. Filth.
Whoever told you you can't lose your virginity through that lied to you. Ignorance at its best.
I can see how many of you get gonorrhea, HIV, Aids, HPV, syphilis, etc and rashes on yourselves. Talk about unclean. You people just asked for the stuff.
Take my dick in your ass @btbc92 :)
@bigcuband You are a nasty piece of shit. You've been reported.
@Jamie05rhs nobody especially me cares what you say or think 😂
I see. Less and less men now would like to be a hero, an activist, fighting for and protecting something precious like this planet earth.
I wouldn’t even call them men... they are boys never able to grow up to be men. I told my ex-wife a long time ago that I would step out in front of a moving bus to save her and her response was “you would do that for anyone including a stranger”. The reality is she was right. Today’s men are scared of everything including women!!! Us old timers are not afraid of anything lol. @el_Te_de_la_Rosa I looked at your profile picture and I am not afraid to say that I think you are a beautiful woman and I would love to take you out for dinner... the young men of today wouldn’t say that because of fear of rejection or fear that it’s somehow sexist calling you a beautiful woman... or they are just afraid of their own shadows... I don’t know lol.
I'm from a country full of ladyboys and lots of effeminate men. We have discussions on this issue quite often. The cause is certainly not because of soy products. 😆Anyways, thank you very much for your kind words and insight. I don't think "beautiful" is sexist. However, hearing this a lot from many who have no intention to be in a serious, long term relationship is meaningless. I'd prefer "you're interesting / smart / or even weird" because, at least, they learn something about me too, not only the appearance.I'm from a cou
I hear you about the “smart or interesting” comment but you must understand that the first thing anyone sees is the outer you... so the fact that you hear “beautiful” a lot is because real men aren’t afraid to say what comes to their mind. After getting to know you even a little is where the compliments “smart and interesting might come in to play. So out of curiosity... why do you think you are weird?
My personality regards to MBTI is INTJ. The ways I process things are different from other women. Most memes and quotes about INTJ are mostly accurate. I tend to think like men. Flowers, gifts and sweet words don't work. I'm more intereseted in mental connection (through deep conversation) rather than physical appearance and superficial things. If a man says he likes me, but never tries to talk, getting to know me, I wonder it's lust, not love. No matter how strong the attraction towards a person is, if he is not single, get married, I can dismiss the person right away since I analyze what would be the outcomes. I consider being emotional is not wise. Logic and knowledge are my favourite. Hence, "you are different." is what I heard from them many times.
I as an engineer am a big fan of logic but emotions are important too. I didn’t know what INTJ was so I had to look it up. There was a little personality test there so I took it. Turns out I am a ENTP... it’s mostly actuate. I too enjoy mental stimulation or emotional stimulation... again I think emotions are important I prefer a mental challenge. You are a joy to talk with. I requested to follow you.
My pleasure. Thank you very much.
If I was younger I would agree with you but now it just seems hard to find girls with good feminine traits, good health, and a fun personality.I mean there could be plenty of out there but I don't meet them in the places/hobbies that I like going to. I don't try too hard, I don't want to go for a chase either I think it's stupid. Current females that I meet in my case want to provide depression and misery and expects me to sexually subdue them. That is no fun for me.
If there are no girls you like to begin with that is unfortunate, but I wouldn't call that lack of confidence.
Well, women are certainly head cases.
That guy was absolutely right. Females have always chosen mates using a broader set of criteria - being really attractive is only one factor, there are many others of greater importance. (Not for a hook-up culture, however - in that case looks become paramount. Thus, one of the situations that's occurring right now.) But for longer term relationships, attractiveness drops significantly down on the scale of importance.
Plus he was good looking too?
@AmandaYVR, males are optimized to bring in high-density nutrients, rich in fats and protein. They are also optimized to defend offspring against other males, who instinctively would kill the offspring that aren't their own. Thus, more criteria would need to be evaluated to determine a suitable male vs. a suitable female, who need merely be fecund.
@HereIbe Until the invention of birth control and DNA testing, men didn't know for certain if the offspring was theirs (aside from obvious cases of differences in skin and hair colour, etc.). Go back far enough in time and you see that the young were raised in communal tribes, and all males who had mated with the female would share in the responsibility of raising and protecting the child, because they didn't want event their potential offspring to not survive. They did not kill them off.
@AmandaYVR, go back in time? BULLSHIT. Show some hard evidence for your stupid speculation. HARD EVIDENCE. Show the data.
I asked you that
I mean @sageevalentinee, he was much good-looking too?
For all those asking, I would not say he was particularly good looking. I would say average, maybe just above. But if you didn't know by now, there's more to attraction then just your face. Even if you're lucky enough to have nice face, the initial reaction to that will soon wear off.
Yeah. I've done a lot of research, on my on, on that too. I've a friend who's just average looking but slays 9 or 10 type girls. And I'm good-looking but still it's hard for me to get even a 7 to 8 girl for casual hook ups!
So to piggy back off my answer from above I think that’s why men lack confidence in women. Men feel that if they are not apart of this social perception through the eyes of others they can’t get a woman because she won’t give him the time of day. However obviously, not all women will act or behave that way. There are women who love a guy regardless of size or job. A guy could be a construction worker and look like a tooth pick but still attract someone out there. I don’t have a confidence issue per say, I just have an issue with what girls look for nowadays, same case for girls/women who want to find a special guy in her life.
I do respect guys who work with NGOs too. Well, one thing I disagree with you is about "size"... Why do men think it matters so much?
@el_Te_de_la_Rosa technically it’s true, women want to be with taller guys, and guys care their dick size because they feel it defines them as males (it’s a guy thing).
I've never thought of that. I'm more interested in a chivalrous man. Well, FYI I turned down all men mentioned about how big they are. Don't worry. Your brain and your heart are more important.
So men shouldn't be lazy too then. I am one who comment (well, complain) that some are not attractive enough. It's not because of the face, but the body. They lack of discipline in the first place, to look good and have a healthy lifestyle. Thus, it's a cause of lack of confidence.And what would you do if you find someone who is attractive for you? How do you approach her?
@el_Te_de_la_Rosa Yeah I agree guys shouldn't be lazy either, but I see a heck of a lot more guys who are overweight and unsuccessful in dating decide to stop being lazy and start exercising hard at the gym; I don't see as many girls doing that.Anyway, how do I approach a girl I find attractive? Well sadly I have always been bad at that. Perhaps I do lack confidence because of times in my life where I have tried to speak to my feelings with a girl or approach a girl and have been shut down, which is a hard thing to take. Plus I'm currently in a relationship so unfortunately I really don't approach other girls often anymore, even though I'd like to.
That's good. Being approached by non-singles is not pleasant as well. I respect you for that.I have no idea about girls who don't watch their own bodies and health. Maybe it's because we live in different areas. Majority of men in my town have big bellies since they drink a lot. Having deadly visceral fat. Most women here are natuarally skinny. Even they don't workout much. Food could be a factor I supposed.
@el_Te_de_la_Rosa Where's that?
Thailand. Yay! I'm selling my country. But it's true.
@el_Te_de_la_Rosa I would love to go to Thailand.
Welcome. Our food and nature are still attractive.
MGTOW is men going their own way.
Well that is a good point for sure!
Yeah. Some Thing can't be taught. Had to go out trail error.
For me i don't care about confidence. It doesn't get food or car or house. It doesn't change how i look or act. It might impress the girl or might not. Who care. Job is simple ask you like out. Ask what she like, if don't match next
Soy boys LOL
Agreed , and this is all deliberately engineered too !!
@anon some really freaky anti-metoo people on GaG. Seriously scary.Thanks for trying to raise the issue, as I did. I'm concerned that 'the coach' (or however he styles himself) is leading many young people astray. The options on this poll - very freaky weird. Sinister. No basis in reality. Really anti-women stuff.But, I guess that's the age we are living in, right.
Because men want sex. MeToo will bar them for the most part from getting access to sex with a woman via hookup or dating. Men would not approach a woman he doesn't want sex with. It's not solely because you're pretty, trust me. It's not about the law. It's how far in intimacy is too far before she screams 'rape'. In that situation, its the fact that men openly fondle and touch girls and girls, in general, assuming it's natural and desirable in dating situations to allow it before they encounter somebody like me who doesn't agree with it before a certain time frame or marriage. THAT is what they hate. They hate feeling 'restricted' sexually. Neither side gets that about the opposite sex. They listen to society and society fails us.
Most inexperienced and naive girls and women also don't SPEAK UP about what is uncomfortable because many assume doing such things is normal in a relationship. And if you say no you must be a prude, religious, aka anything to shame your sexuality as a person. Until you do GIVE IN sexually through peer pressure and now you not only feel 'raped' but ashamed of what you did and who you now became. A lot of men sadly don't understand and many don't care. That's why MeToo is very important for people like that. But for those who allow this practice only to shame the man later are toxic. There is no sexual liberation in that. I ALWAYS tell people do NOT touch people you don't know. And if you're concerned, ASK, TALK, COMMUNICATE. One side the women say it's okay to go for a kiss! Men do it and then gets slapped. What does that say? Assumption's is a BAD IDEA. Miscommunication and lack of understanding can put either of us, but mostly them behind bars or left for dead and raped for real. I was taught to open my mouth. It's a shame a lot of girls aren't vocal about what makes them sexually uncomfortable. Just explaining.
@differentpixel I am not leading anybody anywhere. Get off your high horse. I am not anti MeToo because I ask a question. How do you come to this conclusion? You don't know me.
Never have I heard any of my single guy friends bring up MeToo as the main reason they lack confidence. I find that disturbing that a guy would say that because to me that says he's a predator who feels threatened by a movement designed to keep predators like he would be, away from women not the good decent guys who are just looking for a date or sex or whatever with no intention to force, pressure, harm, coerce, drug or black mail them to get what they want. I think that kind of statement does a huge disservice to the plenty of good men out there and makes it seem like the women who have actually suffered in the dark at the hands of predators need to go back in the closet and shut up and keep getting abused to appease these people. That's why that is very odd to me that that's even on the list, let alone the first thing there.
You have to understand OP that again, MEN want SEX. It doesn't matter if he's a good guy or a bad guy. If he sees that sex is not possible by assumption ALONE, he will walk. MeToo just helped raise the awareness for men in general that unless he's willing to take a risk to speak to any woman, he just may toss himself under the bus. Remember, nobody really believes in waiting for marriage to have sex anymore or hold godly standards. This is the world we now live in. Can't really trust anybody anymore. Not even family or friends.
@btbc92 I'm not really sure I follow your train of thought or support the idea that no one is waiting for marriage, and all men want is sex. I don't speak for men or pretend to know what they all want. Confidence can be about approaching women for dates or sex or just the ability to talk to women in general.
OP, never said anybody is waiting. The fact that most are not which goes into the same as what is being said. Men lack confidence because we're changing the landscape that allows both sexes to be in healthy environments. When its overly sexual things go bad. It's not that your speaking for men. But that each man has different agendas in how they wish to obtain sex. And most of us women are not just going to hand it over freely, and again, that's what many hate. Which leads more than 50% of rapist and such to commit sex crimes. What am saying is that most of these problems would not happen if we stuck to how things were traditionally done. Ask any male. They will not approach a woman without some sort of sexual contact. If you told them there would be no sex, 99.9% would run, unless they claimed asexuality.
Confidence is not the issue. Is whether or not a sexual relationship will occur. If sex was never part of relationships most men will not bother with women. That's the point I'm making. It's not about just sex. Its sex in general. No sex, no relationship. Men see women as access to sex in general. I should know. I don't believe in sex or porn or masturbation anything before marriage, and many ran the opposite way. There is a reason why so many people say 'a relationship without sex is just a friendship.' Sex is importance for 90% of people mainly secure people or nonreligious before marriage, but not many hold that same for marriage. This is why there is a confidence issue. If a man holds no sex appeal to her, he feels unworthy as a man and may want to commit suicide for himself. Sex is tied to a man's self-esteem and being. Its a part of him. Men are not like women.
Metoo is fringe TBH. Solution is not be rich or famous and the likelihood of being conned (she lies about some sex act and you get #metoo’d and SUED is slim.
@buttcrackjoe That is not going to save you. Keeping your hands to yourself will. It is wise for men to not touch women. Period.
A woman can't get away with a lie if you never touch her. I don't pity men when they don't listen. She's not your wife, don't do it. I don't care WHAT she says. Do it and she claims rape, well, it ain't gonna matter what you thought, it's what she thinks of it that's going to matter.
@btbc92 im sure people lie about it
@buttcrackjoe Its not about lying. Its the fact that men touch women their not married too then get upset when she feels that she was raped or harassed. I have been harrassed plenty of times. Men don't approach me now because they now know I will not do things sexually before marriage. If they even try they know they where they're heading if their no husband of mine. As I said, don't touch her, even if she thinks it's okay. If she is not trustworthy and is bold sexually, their a red FLAG. Even in the Bible, Solomon talked about such women. She will lead you into hell. Literally.
@btbc92 And you've just blatantly described why men fear the me too movement. "Keeping your hands to yourself will. It is wise for men to not touch women" But how do you know what her limit is? How do you know she won't consider it harassment or assault if you so much as tap her on the shoulder? You have no idea what will set her off, so why even bother risking it in the first place? This is why i say women who support #metoo are either blissfully ignorant to how that complete uncertainty terrifies men from approaching any woman, or know full well the fear it instills in them and just don't care.Which one are you?
I tell girls all the time. Do NOT allow him to touch you in any way sexually, I don't care if he is your boyfriend. He is NOT your husband. Because if your uncomfortable, and you don't say anything, you are at fault for not speaking UP. He doesn't deserved to be seen as some 'rapist' because you didn't set boundaries from the start. Bad enough he shouldn't have done so without asking. This is what I was taught and it protected me from potentional rape. Have self control. I was randomly touched always from boys in Kindergarten because the boys thought I was pretty. Were taught to ask first for a reason. The rules have not changed. It's just people who think they don't have to follow that breaks them and then get into trouble. These girls only bring you trouble if you pursue them yourself. Men need wisdom. And they lack wisdom.
@Malik00 "But how do you know what her limit is?" Ask her: "DO YOU think it's okay to touch sexually or have sex before marriage? Yes or no? If yes, what are your LIMITS?" What the hell is so HARD? This is what I mean by communication. You people don't ASK!"How do you know she won't consider it harassment or assault if you so much as tap her on the shoulder? You have no idea what will set her off, so why even bother risking it in the first place? " Ask her if she is sensitive to certain things. For people like me who are spiritually sensitive or called Empaths or Highly Sensitive People, look us up, we have sensitive EVERYTHING. Our bodies, immune system, etc trap and absorb everything. Not just as an introvert, like many introverts, for the most part, don't always want to be touched. This is why being FRIENDS is IMPORTANT. because you study and learn everything about a person. Because this is who you're going to be dating and MARRYING if you get that serious. It doesn't change like you men don't like to change often. The problem with you people, women included is that you feel ENTITLED to do whatever the hell you want. I don't even like to be hugged all the time by family, parents or even friends. That's just me. If I say 'stop', I mean STOP. Not keep going. Others will mock me for my sensitivity and this causes us to lash out until we kick you OUT of our lives for disrespect.
@btbc92 But then who do you trust? You know damn well very few people these days wait until marriage before any sort of sexual interaction.
"Which one are you?" I am on the side of the innocent. The side for God. If he says these things are unacceptable, I don't care what society thinks it's acceptable in dating and opposite-sex interactions. Boundaries must be set and sexual interactions are only RESERVED for married couples. SO. If somebody screams MeToo I make SURE I get the entire view of the said victim and the perpetrator. Meaning if they all believe in premarital sex, I don't feel that sorry for most. Because I was taught better to not allow a guy to touch me inappropriately. I get called a prude for it. I don't care. Most women and girls sadly put themselves in those positions and very few like me are stuck into those problems.
@btbc92 Points for self awareness.
@Malik00 I trust who God says for me to trust. The same way you have to ask people direct questions is the same way I ask God direct questions. I ask God "Lord, is this man trustworthy for me to be around?" And if I get in my spirit 'NO', you can impress me all day and night, the big man upstairs said NO. That's all.
I’m glad you have your head screwed on straight. Me too sounds like a great thing but now it scares people to make them believe that we live in a rape culture. This isn’t the case because to imply that is to say we celebrate and protect rapists which we don’t and we send rapists to prison, even for life in some jurisdictions. Me too also seems to love painting every male human as a potential rapist in which is a label the vast majority of men and boys don’t deserve. This lead to the massive false sexual assault outbreak where even a good friend of mine wasn’t immune. Me too taught to believe women at all costs which is why the alleged rapist, regardless of the trial verdict becomes a pariah for the rest of his life because no one wants to associate themselves with even an accused rapist, and the woman goes scot free. Now men are afraid to accidentally bump into a woman because she could easily misconstrue it as an unwanted touch. The metoo movement had good intentions but the people who used it heavily abused it influence and all it did in the end is make sexual crimes harder to solve because it groups rapists with all men in general and it made the relations between men and women worse.
The problem is that what most men are not understanding or refuse to understand that is not accidental if it's intentional. What matters again is how she feels. Me too never taught us something that is instinctual for us from day one of our conception. Like I said in my original post. If it was back into those times when men were taught to be chivalrous whether they were knights or militia, the overall behavioral standards that men and women of call to, many of us would not be in this fix. Especially having Godly standards. Ever since my poor encounters with men stimming all the way back to my first time in the kindergarten, I now have to watch my back, as well as watch myself. Because there is nobody to protect me. I now must protect myself. The same way you men now have to protect yourselves.
It's the same way I get painted as a gold-digger or user or prove because I refuse to have sex before marriage, and believed that men on the 1st date should offer to pay for meal since he ask me to date. I don't believe in chasing after men. I don't believe in using a man. I rather take care of myself and be by myself, then to be involved with a guy who can't even trust me to do the right thing by him. When I cannot even trust him to do the right thing by me. That's why I never dated and that's why I never bought it with men in the first place. It's not fair that I treat every person with respect but I get treated like dirt because I am a woman of standard. Or that I should be touched because I look attractive to most. We need to start treating people like human beings again and stop treating people like sex objects. But that is never going to change because we're too far in. This is why sex robots are to take over. Human interaction is being replaced with technology.
Women have to protect their womb since men no longer desires to be her husband to protect her, from thieves who desires to use her body. Women are highly prized in this world and that's what makes it hard to be a woman let alone what makes makes us feel that being a woman and female is a curse. The real world has now become more unbearable.
@Malik00 don't tap them on the shoulder, then. That's her shoulder, not yours. You have no right to touch it.
"Me too sounds like a great thing but now it scares people to make them believe that we live in a rape culture."We do. Apparently you've never been in a high school boys' locker room."This isn’t the case because to imply that is to say we celebrate and protect rapists which we don’t" No; we do. Many famous and powerful people commit sexual assault and get away with it. And they are protected. (Jeffrey Epstein being the exception because he took it way too far and his luck just finally ran out.)"and we send rapists to prison, even for life in some jurisdictions."This is also not true. Have you ever heard of the rape kit backlog? And that's just the women who have reported. Then what happens when a suspect is arrested and the case goes to trial? A lot of rapists get off and go free. And for those that are convicted? Even if they are given a lengthy jail sentence, a lot of them get out early due to liberal policies. (Thank your local Democrat politician.)
@Jamie05rhs 1. I have. Everyone is either quiet and minding their own business, picking on each other, talking about their own personal lives with one another or complaining about gym class. Not once did a girl ever come up in conversation.2. The only reason famous and powerful people are less likely to get punished for sex crimes is because people accuse him with nothing but their say so in an attempt to make them become pariahs but it doesn’t happen because the fans will defend their hero on any crime not just murder. Look at how many people still defend OJ Simpson after he was convicted of murder. The fans don’t believe the accuser because their women or anything stupid like that but because they know that associating yourself with a celebrity will allow them to ride the coattails and become famous themselves. That’s how people like Kim Kardashian got famous. When it comes to rape accusations you don’t really have to do anything. Just say that a celebrity raped you and you get sympathy, every one calls you brave for coming forward, you might get interviewed on tv and you might even get people to donate money to you. Once people eventually see what you could gain from it, that celebrity will get accusations from dozens of other people. Even if some people are telling the truth, it doesn’t matter because all the others are tarnishing the group’s name by crying wolf. I personally don’t agree with labeling the accuser a lair unless the evidence is forthcoming but I’m sure you can see where the fans are coming from. In my original comment I was referring to those who aren’t famous at all like the average college student. Rape is apparently a heinous enough crime in our culture that any random dude who gets hit with a false accusation will have his life ruined by the court of public opinion even if he was proven innocentAlso, I don’t know a single person on either side of the political spectrum who defends Epstein, I didn’t even know he existed until recently.
@Jamie05rhs 3. I’ll admit this concept is new to me but when I looked it up, people seem to be becoming more aware of the situation and are starting to audit the evidence labs to make sure all evidence gets processed. I don’t know where you are getting off claiming that a lot of rapists go free. According to page 24 of the Bureau of Justice Statistics, State Court Processing Statistics in 2009, it says that roughly 2/3 of the people who were accused of rape got convicted whether its rape itself or for other felonies and misdemeanors. Lastly, I don’t know what liberal policies let rapists get out early but if that’s true, I am even more glad that I don’t associate myself with them.
MeToo is against good guys because how would we make our interest known if we can immediately be slandered as a pevert and punished for sexual harrasment for even trying?
@btbe92 I grew up with a mother who thinks that belittling and hitting her children is the only way to get them to learn, but I don’t think all women were evil (I did at the time but I had no perspective yet). I have had a girlfriend who cheated on me, but I don’t think all women are evil. I have witnessed my friends have abusive relationships where their girlfriends beat the shit out of them in public as well as cheat on them even though I know they will never intentionally harm their partner, but I don’t think all women are evil. Do you know why I don’t think all women are evil after all that? It’s because of the few women I met who would never dream of hurting anyone and don’t blame an entire gender for the actions of an individual who stabbed them in the back. Those women helped me realize that perpetuating the notion that women are people who should be tiptoed around is intellectually dishonest and not true. I also honestly believe that there are men who are the same as those good women I mentioned, as all of my friends belong in that category. Even RAINN, America’s largest anti-sexual assault organization, said in a letter to the White House addressing the topic of why there is no such thing as a rape culture in 2014 that “While it is helpful to point out the systemic barriers to addressing the problem, it is important to not lose sight of a simple fact: Rape is caused not by cultural factors but by the conscious decisions, of a small percentage of the community, to commit a violent crime.”www.rainn.org/.../...rce-RAINN-Recommendations.pdf
@btbc92 That being said, I don’t blame you for being cautious around men as I tend to be that way around women too based on past experiences. I am learning to get over it now and I hope you do too.
@SnakeEyes71. You must have gone to a Christian school.2. O. J. Simpson was acquitted of the murders. He was only found liable in a civil case many years later.4. Only 2/3 of rapists getting convicted is still a VERY big problem. That means if you commit rape right now you have a 1 in 3 chance of getting away with it. If you had a 1 in 3 chance of winning the lottery, everyone would play. Those odds incentivize more rape. This is not a good thing for society.Also, the RAINN statement is not saying that rape culture doesn't exist; it's just saying that the perpetrators of sexual assault can't use that as an excuse for the crimes that they choose to commit. We all have a choice to engage in or reject any part of our culture that exists. Some of us are non-religious. Some of us don't vote. Some of us don't watch Game of Thrones. So it is definitely also an option for men to choose not to participate in rape culture.
Actually no. It's possible to be raised believing that any sexual advance without explicit verbal cinsent is rape, and therefore a guy could be too scared to make a move for fear of raping someone even if the other person is attracted to them.
MeToo makes it worse, because now they might be scared to say hello at work for fear of harassing. Some people are just more hormonal/more genetically fit. In which case they probably can't help but feel attraction to multiple people all the time and get caught staring by accident. At a certain point the guy just thinks 'wtf.'
@Robertcw The sexual advance itself isn't rape. But as soon as you touch them it kinda is.
@Robertcw I understand being more hormonal, but we still have to conduct ourselves in an appropriate manner.
I guess this also means that black folks who have an issue with the KKK aren't decent people. same with the Christians in the middle east towards ISIS
@CasaNorba I'm sorry but I fail to see how your analogies fit into the topic at hand.
@Snakeyes7 she claims a group of ignorant and hateful people who fear and demonize men have the right to condone their ignorance and hatred
From personal experience, and from real life observation, plenty of women are liars and accuse men out of jealousy when she can't have him, out of revenge, and out of regret. Lots of false accusations happen. It is pretty common.
Rejection in our day wasn't so psychologically damaging as it is today.
I think the “ nobody loses “ idea was damaging. No one learned to brush themselves off.
For sure... every kid getting a trophy did not help at all!
Nope. I didn’t get a lot of trophies but worked for the ones I did get.
I’m also a gentleman. They say woman don’t like gentleman, i find it completely false.
I am with ya. It's a different time and men are struggling... I wish I could just say "Suck it up Skip" but that just doesn't work. They really need a kick in the pants but in a 2019 way.
Darwinism. Aka “hard times” builds character and men. And sadly some perhaps many will fail because of the “ no one loses” was very damaging
Why would any of that bullshit matter to a sane human being?
@HereIbe bye bye butthurt.
Butthurt? It's obvious that you're the one wallowing in butthurt and cowardice. NONE of those so-called "reasons" are worth the tiniest piece of cockroach shit. Only a weakling and a coward would be deterred by any of them.
@HereIbe lmao... Someone is pressed over a simple opinion... Cool down your red hairy butt
How CUTE! You think being taunted for you obvious stupidity is being "pressed"?
@HereIbe Yess little guy. Stay pressed... You'll get better soon
@Herelbe you are way overreacting. Natasha actually made a lot of great points.
@Jamie05rhs, she made no points at all. That crap only matters to cowards and weaklings.
@HereIbe lmao... You're getting old now... Get off the internet butthurt potato
I get it, you're butthurt and a total coward. Absolutely NONE of the stupid, silly little non-reasons you cite would matter to anyone who isn't a coward and a weakling. Since they matter to you, you're obviously a coward and a weakling.
@HereIbe awww... Baby it's ok... You'll be fine soon. Calling others a coward and weakling really doesn't do much... Prove me how my point is wrong lame ass..
I don't have to prove it wrong, because it only applies to cowards and weaklings. Nobody but a coward and a weakling would care about that crap, and cowards and weaklings don't deserve to have the world handed to them on a platter. Comparing yourself to others? A weakling's trait. Worthless, not done by worthwhile people. Change yourselves for others? Again, a weakling's trait. Fear of not being liked back or replaced? So what? Only a coward would let that stop him. Again, not worthy of being bothered with.
@HereIbe incase you were living right at the bottom of a hard rock... You aren't the only person who exists... There are people who go through these problems. Be a bit more compassionate and you would know. You probably have a sad life that's why you come up here trashing others for having an opinion
I don't trash people merely for having an opinion. I just point out the really stupid opinions. Why on earth would I want to live with a woman who is a weakling and a coward, a crybaby? My wife is STRONG, not some sad little sissy who lets other people dictate who she is. Me? As they say, steel sharpens steel. Most men are too weak to handle her. But you go on being a weakling, a coward, and a crybaby. Someone might eventually take pity on you or decide to take you on as an appendage to his will.
@HereIbe lmao... 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂get off the internet wrinkled dick
You just proved me correct. You're single, alone, and you have no clue why.
@HereIbe lmao... Bye bye butthurt grandpa.. Hope your dick falls off.
So, which wedding anniversary are you going to be celebrating in the coming year?