Have an opinion?
Always? Not really. But most of the times? Yes. Look, there's nothing wrong with being a nice guy. It's not what really turns off women. They actually love it if you're a nice guy IF you are doing nice things for her AFTER you have won her respect, attraction and affection. ONLY THEN she'll respect your niceness.The problem occurs when you -rely- on your niceness to win the girl's heart. Because it's not something that works for her. You can be nice to your friend, your sister, your mother. It doesn't invest any kind of boyfriend-ish feeling inside her and doesn't create any sexual tension. She will start thinking that it's the best what you can provide to her and she is too much for you, thus leaving you into the friendzone as that's what you have always did... you were too friendly to her. In order for you to get her, you need to show the personality traits that sexually and romantically attract the women like confidence, charm, humour, charisma, social intelligence & emotional strength. And all of these can be shown while still being nice to her. You don't have to be a dick.
But that's not my true self, even if I did fake those things, there are still too many better looking guys going for them.
You shouldn't fake those things. Girls are very good at noticing that you're faking something. You have to be those things. They'll be helpful in other sectors of your life as well. Keep practicing and improving yourself. And I'm not saying that looks and money don't matter, but 80% of the girls look for personality. That's why you'll see a lot of average or below average looking guys having hot girlfriends. They know how to talk to women and make them feel for them.
They choose based on looks a lot more, and even if what you said were true, there's always several guys with everything going for her, so they have no reason to give me a chance.
You sound a bit scared of the competition. You should build some self confidence and tell yourself that no matter how many guys are after your chic, it won't matter because you're better than them. You may not be a 9/10 handsome guy but as long as you know how to groom and dress well, your looks won't be a problem. Yes, if you had 10/10 looks and a lot of money, you'd easily be pulling girls, but that are only 20% of the girls. While the rest 80% of the girls do find the looks and money attractive, it's not their sole factor to judge the guy. It's ONLY about what and how you talk to the girl. If you think you don't have a value as a man, why are you even complaining then? You have eliminated yourself.
You don't get it, I have 6 severe mental illnesses that have been unresponsive to any treatment, and two chronic health conditions including one that cuts my lifespan in half, those things alone take me out of the game.
True. It's a disadvantage, sorry to hear that but...You don't need to tell about it until she's attracted to you.
Not really. Pushovers and weak men get friend zoned. I would never want to be known as a "Nice Guy" but that's just me. From my 26 years of life, I've learned that men should have a sort of threatening demeanor to create sex appeal. Whether that's to a lesser or greater degree depends on you and your personality. Being genuine to yourself is also very important. If you disagree with a woman, then vocalize that and don't be afraid. But, no woman ever has ever lusted over a man who's "harmless" or "innocent". I pride myself in being a stand up man who holds strong morals and values when push comes to shove. I've been tested plenty of times in life, and have always held strong to my values. I feel as if more men need to. This opinion is kind of all over the place targeting different perspectives on the concept, but you can probably guess what I'm trying to get at.
I'm not a violent kind of person, I only threaten or cause harm to others who either deserved it, or I had no choice but to do so. Even if I faked being violent, they still wouldn't like me anyways, so there's no use in me pretending to be what I'm not.
Not just violent man. A threat as if you have to be ability to steal her heart and make her vulnerable.
No, it depends on a multitude of things. 1. Look for the right girls. There are plenty of girls out there who want a good guy and are not into the "bad boy" crap. 2. Actually be a real nice guy, but not a Nice GuyTM, a. k. a. the type of guy who gets butthurt every time a girl rejects his advances and starts throwing insults and having a temper tantrum like a toddler. 3. Accept that not everyone is going to be into you that way, and that's okay. There's nothing wrong with a girl wanting to just be friends. If a guy I was into still wanted to be friends with me, I'd be happy and see it as a compliment that he thinks enough of me as a person that he still values me as a friend. Of course, don't let people pretending to be your friend use or take advantage of you, but don't throw the baby out with the bathwater and throw away a perfectly good friendship unless you just really don't want her as a friend.
I don't insult them after being rejected, but I get frustrated. There is everything wrong with wanting to be friends, no girl wants a guy as a friend, they're just saying your value is too low in their eyes to date and they won't be straight up. Such girls are always taken, even if they weren't, they'd have so many options that they'd have no reason to give me a chance and don't.
That's not true. I have many male friends and cherish them. Just because I don't want to date them or have sex with them doesn't mean they're less valuable to me. To be honest, most of them are better than any female friend I've ever had. I'm also not taken, I just have no interest in a relationship at the moment and am trying to figure out if I'm asexual or demisexual (leaning heavily towards demisexual), honestly.
2. oh you mean like the president of the USA...
Depends on what kind of nice guy we're talking about.Most guys I friendzone are not because you're a "nice guy' but because you're really not a nice guy, you're just trying to show that you are as a way to make up for no lack of personality or as simply a way to try to score with me. Same as male feminists. They all are pro girl but that's only because they're pathetically weak and think this is a sure fire way to get a chick. It's not. Knock it off.Want a girl? Be yourself, not some projection you think people want to see. Even the dumbest girl can see when you're not being yourself and we'll reject that straight away.
People tell me to be myself, but then complain constantly about it
Being myself has never worked for me.
@Slim57 @RangersDon't "be yourself" if you are failing. Be a "better you". Just not a "fake you". There's a difference between improving and pretending
Depends on the girl, but almost every girl has a phase when they are into people with green eyes, sharp cheekbones etc, it is like a enthusiasm. When they either get cheated or hearts broken, most of the time they realize people who were honest, just a normal good person was actually worth to be given a shot. Unlike guys, they mostly care about purely and doesn't have those cliche filters, however guys are also bastards on their own way. Most of the team easy to break once you get what you want from the girl and you mostly don't know at all if his intention was just sexual benefits or not. Both genders have pros and cons, but can't generealize everyone. Every people may be different
My boyfriend is a nice guy. doesn't cheat, take cares of grandmother, shoveled me out during a snowstorm then shoveled every handicapped spot in my unit, got me medication when I was dying at work, etc. Nice guys only finish last when they're self-proclaimed nice guys who aren't really "nice guys" and think they deserve something simply because they didn't do anything wrong.
Nice guys finish last every time no matter what, actually. The only relationships they get are one sided ones
"Nice Guy" is a broad term. You will have to be precise. Based on my definition, yes. Nice guys are considered losers in modern times. And with more women wearing the feminist label, things are only going to be worse. So a man either needs to fake it or stay single. I took the red pill. Easier to live.
Even if I faked it, I'd still be single anyways
Then take the red pill and you will be happier. Life is not all about finding the perfect woman. Focus on other things. As long as you accomplish those other things, you will be proud of your success and won't need a woman to validate it.
It really depends on what you mean by nice guy.Most girls interpret this as one of two things.A genuinely respectful and good man. Or a guy who expects his interest in her to be accepted simply from treating her the way he’s supposed to treat everyone.That’s why so many women will say “Yes! I love nice guys.”But coming from a guy’s perspective I can tell you that term is usually used to describe guys who aren’t very aggressive, confident and agreeable to a fault.Girls do want to be treated with respect and a guy who won’t ultimately hurt them. This is what most people want in a relationshipsGirls however don’t want a guy who’s so unsure of himself that he never makes a move. They don’t want a guy who lets people walk over him because he thinks that’s being nice. She also doesn’t want the guy who uses kindness to get her to sleep with him. She wants to sleep with someone who sexually excites her and makes her heart race.
And that person is someone who will hurt them, many times they know he's going to hurt them, but they choose them anyways.
Not true. There are few men who can truly balance all the desirable qualities. Sensitivity/aggression, confidence/humility, being kind but firm. They’re the best and women definitely go for them. They’re just extremely rare
Women don't go for guys, guys go for women and they choose amongst the guys.
For what it’s worth, this is what I had to say about the topic:Conflicting Understandings of the Notion that Nice Guys Finish Last ↗
To All the Men Who Think They Have Been Friendzoned, Passed Over, etc. Here is a Little Advice... ↗
In my experience, the proof is that yes, being a nice guy ends up in a lot of being friendzoned. I think it's stupid and irrational but that's what I have experienced. But, as much as it sucks, do you want to be a dick to get the girl? Could you act in opposition to your beliefs and values and feel okay about that? My answer was no.
In my exp, yes but well once we go on date, date is just a status for me it is not important at all, what is important is how she feels about me.. Hard to explain but if u r really nice guy, sometimes or many time, she will treat you like she own you which is kind of scary when she is having a boyfriend.. If she have a boyfriend then I will take a distance on her and let her choose when she cannot choose then u know that u r always in her heart and that is enough even just being a best friends..
Nice is waaaay too all encompassing a term. What are his motivations? -is he nice just for the sake of being a good personOr does he have ulterior motives? Big difference here.Man opens the door for an old lady=niceMan opens the door for a hot chick but slams the door on the old lady=asshatThe end
It depends on how you define "nice guy". I'm not super nice, but I'm also not a complete asshole. I've seen the really nice guys get walked on and then pick up the pieces when the girl gets dumped. But they also tend to keep the relationships they get for longer.But if you're "a friend", then that's probably all you'll be.
Because no so-called nice-guys use being "nice" as a sort of mating-strategy without being genuine and while lacking a backbone.But being nice doesn't necessarily mean you are a harmless person. Being toothless is for the weak and that's unattractive. So is pretending to be someone you aren't.
Girls sure seem to love the guys pretending to be tough
Because being strong is more attractive than being kind. Biology at play. And those girls who fail to pick up on it being staged fall for it.
I had liked a boy for a very long time but he was so nice that it was almost boring, when he asked me out I said no. Not because I didn’t like him but because I knew if I dated him I would bored within a month and break up with him. Saved both of any heartache
That's sad. You didn't even give him a chance. Who knows what secret sides of him would have been revealed to you if you had only put your trust in him.
Maybe so but I ended up dating someone else who I have bee with for over three years so I am happy and he had got a girlfriend now aswell, we are both really great friends and both happy with our more suitable partners
Oh, okay. I'm glad to hear that.
Yes, they get friendzoned, used, and even divorced!''A WOMAN is seeking a divorce from her husband because he showers her with gifts and cleans the house without being asked, it has been reported.’''www.thesun.co.uk/.../However, something to bear in mind. Given the state of most western women, all guys now finish last. There are no winners...
Nope! I LOVE nice guys! I would want to date them and maybe have something serious with them! GENUINE nice guys though, not just one that pretend to be in order to get something! However, keep in mind it's not just NICE I'm looking for, I have to be attracted to them too!
Uggg you actually have to be attracted to them too? The nerve
@buttcrackjoe wait what are you getting at? :) It wasn't exactly stated in the question now haha.
I was being sarkastic
I'll tell you this I very much disagree. When I was cold to people and girls they just pretend I wasn't there. Soon as I started being nice, it was like a damn magnet. Still is too. Have so many especially from parts all over the world for girls I have even just met or been with for a few weeks or even a few days. A bit annoying but its better than being alone.
I feel like you're trying really hard to justify your life choices after being faced with the fact that bad boys don't really get to have long lasting strong relationships.
I really don't agree with this, most nice guys I know are in serious happy relationships while playboys are desperate for love.
Keep on dreaming in your fantasy land, reality couldn't be any further from it.
Well nice simply doesn't cut it. Being nice is good, but any guy needs to more than simply nice, the girls grandpa is nice so a guy needs to be more than nice for sure.It no difference than looks. Good looks is nice, but more is need than just good looks.Guy who's only attractive side is being nice, get friend-zoned, nice guy's who has more to offer than simply being nice, get married.
I know a guy who's barely attractive and dangerously insecure, yet girls always storm towards him every chance they get.
Think everyone has met people who were overly nice to cover up something else. It comes across as dishonest and untrustworthy. Be nice if you feel like being nice - otherwise just be you. Don't be nice to get laid.
The friendzone doesn't exist if you believe it do than you're a bad friend to say that you get friend zoned by your friend who you like And a nice guy also doesn't exist a nice guy will never call himself that he will just be
We wanted to be in a relationship, but they rejected us and said we could be friends, that's the friendzone.
Sure if you're one of those "nice" guys. But if you're a genuinely good person and I find you physically attractive then no you probably won't get friend zoned.
Of course. We can all see it. And whoever tried to be the nice guy has experienced it. Women want fuckboys and abuse. I remember with my first girlfriend when I was always like "can I do this? Can I touch you here?"One day she said "why don't you just fuck me?" Then I thought alright let's try the other way then. Few minutes later I mouthfucked her so rough that she ran to the bathroom in panic. Maybe she even puked, I don't know.
Dude, don't listen to anyone's bullshit - BE AN ASSHOLE. You will see your sex life get a lot better almost overnight. If you are halfway attractive, have a decent job & car, and a place to fuck - be a piece of shit and act like a smartass. TRUST ME.
I've already tried, it didn't work
Keep doing it. Eventually you'll get lucky. Being nice WILL NOT work and if you have a history of being friendzoned the nice guy shit will keep your dick dry. Trust me. Next time be an asshole as a smart, not asshole as a guy bitter at women. Women can sense it and will avoid you. Be a smartass who is HAPPY and doesn't give a shit whether he's liked or not
People don't and won't like me regardless, including women
Stop being a defeatist. WOmen get a whiff of that shit and run away,. Find something you like to do, be creative and have fun regardless of being single, eventually you'll look good doing what you do and it will attract women.
I do have things I enjoy that I do, but girls never do those things there, it's all guys.
Boring, thirsty guys who pretend to be "nice" in an attempt to get laid will be seen through by women and friendzoned. Non-boring guys who are genuinely kind might be, but it is far less likely.
If you put a woman on a pedestal from the start she will see that and you will get friend zoned. I've learned a woman wants a confident good guy. If you act like she is so much better then you she will not want you. We all want a partner who will treat us as a equal.
Depends on the guy and the girl. Plenty of genuinely good guys (which are presumably nice) get in relationships.
Not at all. I only date Nice guys now. I'll Fuck Bad Boys, but want a relationship Nice Guy. I've always had more fun with Nice Guys than I ever did with Bad Boys...
Three losers who want to keep making excuses for why you can't get a woman. Stop down voting get off your asses out of your parents basements and take a real look at yourself!!! Put some effort into your life... Hahahaha.
Depends on the nice guy you are talking about. Genuinely nice guys, no. 'Nice guys' who think they're nice guys but are actual trash? Yeah, they'll get friend zoned faster than anyone else.
" 'Nice guys' who think they're nice guys but are actual trash? Yeah, they'll get friend zoned faster than anyone else." - You just contradicted yourself. If they're actual trash then why even be friends with them?
@ronaldo75 Trash as in trash of a person to date. Plenty of people are friends with trash people lol.
"Plenty of people are friends with trash people lol." - I'm not. Why the hell would you waste time like that?
@ronaldo75 I don't know. Ask someone who has trash friends lol
Then quit being a nice guy that’s not women fault it’s the guys fault quit blaming women for being to and quit being desperate all these desperate men are pissing me off, you don’t hear women being this desperate
Face it all you women. Men are no longer taking your shit or false words. You will be and already are desired less and less.
Yes, then when a chick says she just wants to be friends... and you tell her that you're not interested in friendship, she calls you an entitled asshole. There is NO obligation to stay friends if you're not happy with that...
I disagree, most of the time woman with age will want to settle down with a nice guy instead of the bad boy who broke her heart and used her for sex.
Women want nice guys when women get into their late 30s/early 40s and have "had their fun" with all the bad boys. I for one won't fall into that shit, I'm not a backup plan. I used to be a sweetheart and got friendzoned a lot in my 20s OR got cut to bits by women. After I started being an asshole my sex life and dating life have gotten A LOT better.
OK a lot of people say this it's not nice guys that get friendzoned a lot its guys that aren't as brave that label themselves nice but the actually nice guys don't get friendzoned
I agree. A majority of nice guys will get friend zoned by the wrong girl. A lot of girls don’t want a nice guy. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t girls out there like me looking for nice guys.
It should be common knowledge that plenty of women want nice guys who don’t bore them and are attractive.
The only people who say that are girls who like to give them false hope and lead them on
You’ve spoke to all women and confirmed this?It’s the truth. Cute guy with good personality (nice is included in that). Why is this difficult? Don’t you want a pretty woman with a personality that you like?
Guys and girls are different, girls find guys who they know won't break their heart boring while guys think in the opposite way. For me, I've accepted that inevitably I will be alone no matter who I pretend to be, or if I be myself, which I'm doing. If that were true, those guys would be the ones with 6 different girlfriends at the same time and all the bad guys forever alone, not the other way around.
You are wrong and we are more similar than that. But it’s fine. We disagree.
We're really not, men and women have nothing in common at all other than the fact they we're both from the same species.
Disagree. I know they feel underrepresented in the dating game but i wonder how much of that is just perception
I can't be asked to go on a long tirade. Nice guys meaning soft wimps: yesNice guys meaning charmer who's loyal and respectful ( but knows how to be engaging ): no
Nice guys attract nice girls of value. Shit guys attract needy nice girls. Or shit girls.
They don't attract anyone with good intentions
simps get friendzoned.nice guys can be masculine, strong and knowledgeable can get a bitch.
If that were true, I would have just as many girlfriends as the fake bad boys girls gravitate towards
What girls are you trying to get maybe the problem.A girl that goes for criminals is damaged goods. Why would you want them. Good riddance to them.
‘Nice guys’ who are actually assholes definitely will be but actual nice guys are the best
No. Nice guys who "are actually assholes" are the guys who start off nice but get sick of women's bullshit so they become assholes. These guys then start to get more sex (because women love assholes) and the sex causes them to stay that way. "Actual nice guys" in your context 99% of the time means "the guy I can put through all types of shit and he will always do as I say"
I'm not a pushover at all, I speak mind and have my own opinions, I just don't go out of my way to intentionally piss people off
" I just don't go out of my way to intentionally piss people off" - lol don't do that. That's childish
Nope all you gotta do is just chose the right words
Nice girls will look for nice guys. It's as simple as that.
Girls don't look for guys, guys look for girls, and nice girls always choose bad guys because the high chances of their heart getting broken by them excites them.
I can't speak for all girls but most are attracted to the nice dudes. Nothing about a broken heart is exciting.
Sadly, a lot about it is exciting to girls, they say they want a nice guy, yet push them away everytime such a guy approaches them and is all over the bad guys.
Who hurt you
That has nothing to do with this
Lol if you say so
Just don't generalise
There are a lot of genuine nice guys who will get rejected & friendzoned unfortunately for being boring or nice. It's why chivalry is dead
I'm a nice guy apparently but women simply aren't interested. I'm not really attractive. Those that pretend to be are just using me until someone better comes along. What they don't realise is looks fade who a person is doesn't.
I think we should change the term, as "nice guy" currently means the guy who's only nice to attractive girls and he has ulterior motives, yes those guys will get friendzoned.While GOOD guys are much less likely to get friendzoned
Some guys yeah, but not all the time. A lot of girls want to date nice guys
A gentleman isn't always a gentle man if you know what I mean🤘
it depends on type of nice guy. if the guy is just being nice to get into a girls pants then yes they will get friend zone.
Why would you want to be friends with someone who is trying to manipulate his way into your pants?
You didn't listen or too stupid to understand.
I was pretend to be a friend but wasn't
Almost every achievement mankind has made was fueled by a desire to get into women's pants.
I’m not stupid, I was just trying to make the point that usually being friend zoned doesn’t lead to actual friendship.
Your are just saying that but still ingore the poor guy. That have replied to you & me.
My boyfriend is as nice as they come and we were friends for seven months before he asked me out.
Yes i can confirm. I tried to be nice with girl and she tried to make me jelous all the time
Not all the time just a vast majority of the time. But it's alright because most women are trash anyhow. Most are doing you a favor by friendzoning you, you just don't realize it.
Nice guys who don't make their intention known will get friendzoned. You can still be a nice guy without being a doormat
That's fuckin stupid. Girls love nice guys. Not pricks, not push overs. But kind and generous men
Not on this planet, they find good, loyal guys boring because they know he won't break her heart.
A lot of nice guys get a lot of ass. They just have to have more to offer than JUST being nice.
Nice guys with personality get the girls
On what planet?
The one I live on. I dont know where you all live but my experience with peoe here in cali seems different. I know a lot of nice guys with spouses. I know even more that are great guys and are bad spouses too. But nice guys do when. I think it's more personality then anything
No, if they are genuinely nice and not faking it. Many turn out to be bad boys.
Not by me. I hate bad boys
Because you have hit The Wall and the bad boys no longer want you?
@JamesRandiDebates Maybe it's because bad boys have a tendency to live irresponsibly and not be loyal.
@JamesRandiDebates I may have hit the wall but you were always an ugly little dick broke sack of shit. Eho will never be anything or have anything
Nope they friendzone guys/girls because they are usually taken
Fake nice guys get friendzoned
Real nice guys get friendzoned, too
Nice guys™ doReal nice/good guys don't.
I am proof positive that isn't true.
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