How do I approach women in a club??

This is the situation...

I need some brutal honesty girls & guys, I am not going to sugar coat it - I am a total loser when it comes to approaching BEAUTIFUL women in a club.

I don't want to sound arrogant because that's not my nature at all but I know I am a good looking guy and that women find me physically attractive (I notice girls checking me out often). The only thing I am not comfortable with totally is my height (I am 5ft7) Is height a big issue for women or am I being paranoid.

Straight up, I have no game when it comes to chatting up BEAUTIFUL girls in a nightclub... Don't get me wrong I can approach women when I want to but its always after I have had some alcohol.

Its as if I feel intimidated by beautiful women in clubs. In fact I am so intimidated that even if I notice a cute girl checking me out and I don't feel drunk enough yet I will not make a move or go and talk to her.

Also I think I am too concerned that the lady will think I am being a sleaze if I go up and talk to her.

WTF is wrong with me?

I am tired of always going out and getting drunk and relying on that to be my only source of building up enough courage to talk/dance with women at clubs.

Its so f***ing weird because when I am not in a club situation and am on a date with a girl, I never drink because I want my personality to shine through on the date and am able to have great conversations and dates with these women.

Is it stupid I feel more comfortable in a 1on1 date with a girl then I do trying to pick her up at a nightclub?

I know I sound paranoid and that there are other places to meet nice girls other then in clubs but I need HELP with this problem.

The saddest part is I am 25 years old and I feel like I'm letting my best years slip past me while I doubt myself and do nothing.


Most Helpful Girl

  • your outfit and style is important (don't wear that shirt in your picture lol :)), more important as your personality / attitude though.

    try to be yourself. and the most important thing is, BE CONFINDENT in whatever you do or say. the truth is guys who don't act confident enough, come off as creeps. guys who are TOO confident will often be called players. neither of them are good, so try to find the middle. know who you are, be proud of it , but don't show it off. be flirty and fun. the most important thing is that she feels good around you. so try to talk about something that she's interested in or - much better- show interest in HER.

    oh and girls will notice if you fake something. for example if you're just "trying to be confident", but don't feel like it really. but you already know you're good lucking, so that should not be a problem :)

    and no height often doesn't matter if the rest is super duper great =) however I know a few girls who think a guy's height is a deal breaker...

    hope this helped, if you want more tips, let me know :)

    good luck!


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • I'm a girl, I go out at clubs, and these are the three approaches that I know that don't make you look like a sleazebag :

    1) On the dancefloor

    Go on the dancefloor, get your groove on. When you notice an attractive girl, go to her and start dancing! Advice : I don't know about most girls, but my friends and I reject the ones that dance too dirty. After a couple of songs, depending on the girl, you can :

    a) straight up kiss her. You'll know if you can depending on the level of dirtiness present in her dancing. Work up to it by getting closer and closer, that way you'll know if she wants you to.

    b) Ask if she wants a drink. Girls adore free drinks, even more so when they're offered by a hot guy.

    2) Anywhere else in the club

    Offer a drink!

    "Don't tell me you have to buy your own drinks? Lemme get that for you :)"

    3) Outside

    Only works if you smoke, but asking for a light is a classic.

    You can then move on to her name, if she's having fun, who is she there with? etc...

    Good luck dude :)

  • we're total opposites. I have no problem chatting up hot guys in clubs, but going on a date with them would freak me out.

    though I could always date a guy I'm not interested in lol

    yea well...sorry can't help you :(


What Guys Said 2

  • lol you don't. You bring some friends and you guys party it up as a group and get close to girls and do your own thing. and when you catch eye with girl and there friends simply say what's up ladies. if you get a good or bad response. it don't matter to me I press on anyway. If its bad I say aaaawwwwwwhh come and have a drink girls be nice in a pimpish baby voice. I always tell them we don't care girlys just have a drink. I get at em always doing this. if they don't still I say OK bye bye go lay down.lololol and its about confidence. Don't ever look like you care.

    this is the best answer I know

    • true, don't look like you care!

      if you're still confident after being rejected, she might think twice about it. I know I have :)

  • Gotta sac up and approach dude its half the battle. Anyone claiming a technique is full of shot, evveryone gets rejected just be cool and calm and confident. Some women. Will click with ya some wont. Its a numbers game.

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