Should I tell him how I feel?

ill try to keep this short. I work with a guy, who I'm absolutely crazy about. we have such great chemistry, we're always laughing when we're together, and when he looks at me, it's literally like his eyes shine. he does all the typical body language moves that give his attraction to me away. the problem is, he's got a girlfriend. who he lives with. and they have plans.

they've been together for about four years, and a friend of mine told me he said he had to "learn how to love her" because they had nothing in common.

i am by no means wanting to be some kind of home wrecker, but this guy is literally everything I've ever wanted.

i could make this super long and tell you all the little things that have happened, but I'll just ask. if a guy has a girlfriend, is all hope lost?


Most Helpful Guy

  • No, not all hope is lost, it just comes down to a decision, on your part, to do what you think is best for everyone involved.

    To be honest, I'd hazard a guess that he already kind of guesses how you feel, (when that chemistry happens, usually both sides notice) but the question may still be 'What's the best thing to do? What's going to help the most and bring the most good to the situation?"

    I understand your statement about being a homewrecker, and I agree that it may not be very helpful to break them up, despite how 'perfect' he is. I think that, if you really wanted to, you could tell him, not in a pressuring way, but in a hey-just-letting-you-know-for-certain kind of way, even in a passing sort of "You know, if you ever broke up with [GF] I would grab/date you in a second." This may let him know, without directly saying "You're wonderful., let's run away to paradise together."

    Then, and even if you don't say that actually, there is the idea that if he does know, it's also his choice to stay with her or not, and that's something he needs to decide on his own. You may tell him how you feel, so he knows all the facts and takes that into account, but that choice, especially if he lives with her, is his to make.

    Luck to you, whatever you choose to do.


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What Guys Said 1

  • not all hope is lost. if you tell him how you feel and he and you have great moments, then he'll be stuck between two girls. he will have to choose though. you said he has PLANS, which haven't happened yet, so hurry. and if he picks you, he picks you. if he picks her, he picks her. just part of life.


What Girls Said 1

  • All hope is not lost, but you shouldn't tell him how you feel. You don't want to mess up his relationship, or him for that matter, if you really care about him. And in all fairness, you can't judge the strength of the relationship, because you haven't been there.

    However, be the girl this guy can count on, and let him know you care and you're there for him. But always make sure to have tension between you, and never lose your sex appeal (by keeping things SO comfortable that "excitement" is lost). If things don't work out with his girlfriend, he'll come running to you immediately.