If he continues to ask if it's a date what do I say? Do I tell him the truth?

When casually dating- if a guy asks what you're doing that night and you say you have plans. If he continues to ask if it's a date what do I say?

My intention isn't to make him jealous, but yeah I have a date and it's not with him, but that doesn't mean I don't like him, it just means he didn't ask me!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Good Question!

    And first off, I totally agree with you, that you are completely free to do as you like before getting exclusive and you don't have to tell someone you just met everything going on in your life. That would just be weird.

    Now to answer your question.

    When a guy asks you what you're doing tonight, and you say, umm I have plans. It puts the guy in awkward position. It makes him feel like he's not important, and that you have things you want to hide from him.

    The best thing to do, is be honest, and make the guy feel important.


    Guy: Hey what you up to tonight?

    Girl: Oh Hey! Unfortunately I already told a friend I'd grab a bite to eat with them tonight, but I'm free tomorrow, would you like to do something then?

    This communicates that you don't really want to discuss any further what's going on tonight, but you care about the guy and you want him to know he is a priority to you.

    It also diverts the convo to yall making plans to hang out, rather than him getting jealous and asking more questions.

    However, if he asks, is it a date. I absolutely think you should be honest.

    If he can;t handle that, then he probably couldn't handle being with you anyways...

    But to recap: Its bad to just say, I have plans (it leaves the mind wondering the worst) , Its awkward to straight up say I'm on a date, and its best when said, I'm already told a friend I would go do whatever with them tonight, but I'd like to see you and I'm free tomorrow...


    • I think it's extremely disrespectful of a guy to call the DAY of and leave me with only a few hours notice. I'm social and am asked out a lot, so I always have plans. I wouldn't do what you recommend, honestly. If he wants to go out with me, he should makes plans in advance, if not, I won't rush to fit him into my schedule.

    • Maybe there is a nicer way of explaining that statement you just said to him like, "Give me a little more notice when it comes to plans." Or even do what Lukeness suggested but put your own spin on it. If you want a date with this guy you have the power in your hands if you think about it. He's calling you and now if he wants a date he's going to asked what day is good for you and you can go from there.

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What Guys Said 3

  • if you don't tell people you're seeing other people, you're cheating, as far as I'm concerned.

    • I think the opposite- unless you tell me we're exclusive I'll assume you're dating other people. We've only been on two dates, it's hardly committed. I just don't him to think I'm trying to make him jealous, because I'm not, but he hasn't asked me out for over a week...

    • Show All
    • Yeah, giving it more thought I will. I can't wait around for him any longer if he's just stringing me along. There are too many guys after me to do that. If he truly meant all the things he said to me, he'd do something but he isn't so I will continue to look for someone who will.

    • just go with the truth. you have no idea what he is thinking. maybe he thinks you are blowing him off? then he won't talk to you anymore. just say you are seeing other people too, but are still interested in hanging out with him.

  • go with lukelockehart's answer I was gonna say the same thing. you can tell him if he keeps asking but be open. tell him you would like to hang out on your next available day.

  • women get all sorts of offers from men..as bad as this sounds she should choose what she wants to do and leave this guy hanging in the breeze...none of his business


What Girls Said 1

  • Tell him and be nice when you say it, if you aren't exclusively dating maybe you should start. That's the best advice I could give you.