Why he hasn't replied to that one text?

Ok I have a question. Have met a guy who I actually quite like don't really do the whole dating thing as I never meet the kind of man I would want to date long term (my friends call me one date Kate as by the end of the first date I am bored) So I have been out with Mr.G twice, first date(on a Monday eve) he was keen and wanted to see me 2 days later. I couldn't but could do the Fri of the same week. Went out had a good night, he text on way home to say he'd had a great time . We tried to arrange date for sometime that week but he went away for weekend and we've both had a lot on various work and family/social commitments, but I just had the feeling maybe he didn't want to pursue it any longer. I just couldn't be bothered with the whole does he like me/doesn't he like me thing so text on Monday to say if he didn't want to go out again it was cool but to let me know as I am not good at getting hints and didn't want to end up feeling like his stalker. He called me when he got message and we talked about everything we'd been unto for about half an hour. At end of conversation we kind of casually said about going out this sun. I text him earlier today as was at his old school and saw pic of him, but he hasn't replied to text. Am I just being the kind of freaky paranoid sex and the city type of withering blathering girl I listen to on the tube or shall I just sort myself out and realise there are a thousand and one reasons why he hasn't replied to that one text? Even reading this back I look like a div as if I was reading it about someone else I'd prob say signs point to him liking me, and who is to say what's right and wrong in texting and calling etiquette. However, it is half 9 on a weds eve, I'm an attractive girl sitting in front of a computer willing my phone to bleep asking a bunch of strangers for an opinion. If no one can offer any advice at least point me in the direction of the nearest loony bin.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Okay, we have to go with the info you've provided. and part of that is that you are at least 25 years old.

    So to answer your question, yes you are being paranoid, and yes he does like you.

    But, lets talk about that big white elephant in the corner of the room. Your 25 and exclusively a one date kate? At 25 years old you should be mature enough to aswer this question yourself. Do you live in notting hill? Are you living some strange alternative life? You do sound like blathering girl you listen to on the tube.

    The advice you really need to hear is GROW UP.

    • I'm actually 27 but beside the point. No I don't live in Notting Hill but commute on a regular basis for work. If by strange alternative life you mean raising a child single handedly, completeing a degree and working full time (ie no real time to date) then yes, its a wonderful parellel universe. I don't see the point in leading guys on and hurting feelings if I can't feel a connection or enjoy someones company. "Grow up"?? Thanks for making me smile.

    • Tushay

      sorry and apologies, but you have to go with what you read , and you sounded to me like someone having their first second date at the age of 25. good luck with the boy/job/degree/kiddie.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • He does like you. I wouldn't worry about him not responding to you. Like you said he just had a busy week and you shouldn't worry. He has a life too remember, you sound pretty busy yourself raising a child, degree, work; so cut him some slack too. If it happens multiple times though I'd be inclined to think that it's over.

    Like the nickname, fun, hilarious. You're not crazy by the way, so don't be concerned about where the loony bin is. Just relax and try to take things slow. I think you are stressing yourself by analyzing everything. You guys set something up for Sunday so that at least tells you he wants to see you. Relax and have fun!

    • Thank you for your comment. I know I over analyzed that one thing! He has actually text and called a few times today and is a really nice guy :) Anyhow thanks for your friendly laid back non preachy perspective!

    • No problem, glad I could help!

  • Be specific and direct with him: "I want to see you [date and time]."

    If he likes you, he'll make time. "Yes, that date works for my schedule / I'm busy that day but how about [alternate date and time]."

    Everyone's busy with work, school, whatever. But if someone wants to see you, they will find time to see you! It's that simple.

    If they _don't_ want to see you, they will be vague and evasive: "I'm busy for the next few weeks; I'll call you."

    Rule-of-thumb: when someone's vague about scheduling a date two or three times, it's time for you to move on.

    Good luck!

    • Hey agree with everything you said. I was just over analyzing due to having a rare evening to myself! I know I'm the worst for never having time but true, I would make time for someone I liked and would prob expect the same in return to an extent. "Que sera" and all that. Thanks : )

  • The short answer: you're overthinking it. He calls when he calls.

    The long answer: What's up with your dating pattern? If you're looking for a relationship, you know that one-and-done dating won't get you there, right? It'll get you something, but not a relationship.

    There seems to be something deep here that you need to cope with, of which you're seeing symptoms. (Two good dates and you're ready to cut the guy loose?) Maybe you know what it is, maybe not, but you have to deal with it.

    • Thats the point hunny. Why would I persevere in dating someone when I know its not going to go anywhere? Look at my previous comment you'll see that my circumstances don't let up much time for me to date. And strangely my son comes before any guy I meet.There is nothing to do with dating that I need to "cope" with, I'm not going to be one these girls who just "settles" for someone. I also don't plan on messing up my childs life by involving someone in our lives who I don't think will last.

    • Of course you're putting your child first; I wouldn't have you do otherwise. And dating under time pressure is hard; belive me, I know. But that's not what I think you're dealing with. I think that maybe you're not giving your guys enough of a chance. I'm not saying that you should settle for a dealbreaker, but every partner you can possibly find will have some quality that seriously gets on your nerves, and part of love is finding the grace to put up with it.

  • give it time

  • don't over think it


What Girls Said 1

  • Don't worry about it. The thing is, you can drive yourself crazy tryin to analyze everything. I don' t always answer my texts right away.

    • Lol thanks hun, I know its just with my circumstances I don't really have a chance to date and when I have actually found a guy I like I am truly over analyzing everything. Better to focus on something else for a while I think!