Have An Opinion?
You like someone else, you're in a relationship, you're shy, you don't want a relationship, among others
I just don’t have feelings for them.
Reject romantic advances? Because I have a boyfriend.
I don't feel like I deserve them.
Thanks for MHO
you aren't interested, no physical chemistry, trashy personality, no manners or emotional unavailability.
* My own self image which says I'm not worth it or there's something wrong with her if she likes me. True... I had that pounded into me as a kid... took a long time to fix.* My current situation I don't feel I'm able or willing* My energy is down, maybe I just don't feel greatThose were the big ones for me... I shot down plenty.* Assuming she's already taken since she's so decent.* Have girlfriend or wife* Too busy... although If she's really interesting, I'd toss* I just screw up. Like she ddin't ask me out, but I could have asked her but felt like I bungled it..
is this something a girl can help you get over? I'm seeing a guy your age and I feel like his self-esteem is low... I usually just walk away but I love him to much to do so. I just give him space sometimes, and when I reach out to him, he basically runs back to me. I sometimes don't know if I should give up, or keep going.
@aamina_m As much as you can encourage him to get into therapy to work on his internal issues and to the degree he recognizes and is willing to work on himself. You can do what any human being can do with a mate, be supportive, patient. My GF's tortured me (kinda like emotional electric shock therapy)... and it worked to an extent.I am referring mainly to the past for me as I've dealt with a lot of stuff, although I also think this is a weeding... onion peeling process to resolve deep seated shame, fear, self worth, confidence and old programming. Kinda like the 737 Max... needs some re-programming ya know... otherwise keeps crashing same old pattern and everyone scratching their heads..."what's wrong with thing". It takes work to deal with it and it is not easy, it's mostly avoided because it's emotion burried from childhood, loss, future, etc..Prayer may help, encouragement and that outer perspective to make one aware of the patterns, lies and flaws so they work on them. Those things mightw ork. Other mens support, a group therapy... thats what I'm doing with m/f and I see it help. Meditation... challenging goals help, but this is really a matter looking inside and fixing the busted up pieces... lies and beliefs he has about himself, overcoming his failures perceived or real. The other question is why you love him so much... that's another topic to delve into. Love to me is sub conscious familiarity... relates to our personality makeup. Liek a caregiver will love someone wounded and down... that was me... go for wounded birds and realize I couldn't handle them, they aren't mine to fix. It's huge lesson in who we are.
there's a lot of reasons why I love him so much. we're both really attracted to each other. We have so much in common, it's actually crazy. when I'm with him I just feel at home, and super comfortable. Something I haven't felt before. I guess it's something I'll need to explore further. He told me that he's gone through a lot of therapy to get through his issues, most of which were stemming from his childhood and are very deep wounds (I won't get into his personal topics). But I think, like you said, it's really a process. Also his past relationships don't sound normal to me.I think sometimes it really takes the experience of love to heal all wounds. It's super scary letting someone in and allowing yourself to feel worthy, but it's definitely doable. I think sometimes it's easier for women. I had a lot of issues growing up as well.. and it was really difficult for me to believe I was even worthy of having friends. That was pretty messed up. Those insecurities still creep up today but I have to remind myself their only insecurities and nothing more.
@aamina_m interesting. Some therapy works, some doesn't. When I'm digging into is getting to the root of the issues driving the emotions... the beliefs. It is the childhood issues, and reframing and releasing those that appears to have power to free the prisoner. Everything else seems bandaid on emotion.It is possible to live with those things as wel do without healing and be in secure relationship. IWhy you feel so good with him... his sub conscious stuff probably relates back to what you experienced as a child, so it is "familiar" and "normal"... doesn't mean it is good. For example... a girl sees her parents argue and fight and smash stuff, dad treats mom like crap and beats her... the girls feels all of this as emotional trauma, it's wrong and terrible... but she has no power. This repeats and is embedded in her psyche. This is "love" wound. When she grow sup... she feels strong pull to ceratin guys in the room... those feelings, whatever they are, kick in. Those guys are the ones that will beat and abuse her... her sub conscious saw right through to who they are.That's how I think it works in essence, to some degree.
Multiple reasons:* not interested in being close or physical with that person in particular* wrong type of character* no chemistry* LDR and its traps* not into being intimate* criminal record * addiction to a substance/gambler/smoker/doing drugs/sex* the person already having a girlfriend or being in a relation* the person having a reputation of being a womanizer/trophy collector* putting too much emphasis on being intimate/sexual* being bi* having a history of violence/domestic violence* carrying guns* having pets* lacking body hygiene* bad characterThose are only a selected number of reasons that would deter a person to reject a guy/girl that is solely seen and perceived as attractive.
Other than the obvious answer (personality), it could also be your personal mental state. Actually, not long ago, met a guy in Hong Kong who was sooo attractive, from a good family, smart and had a great career, he was also very sweet. He is genuinely a nice person. But although I spent a lot of time with him and he treated me well, I just couldn’t develop deeper feelings for him. He even flew over 13h to visit me and I didn’t even show up. Honestly, I hated myself for it but there was nothing I could do to make myself like him. I was hung up over my ex and just didn’t feel like starting new, also stress and anxiety from work and other personal problems. My mindset just wasn’t right for me to get to like someone and if I don’t like someone I’m not gonna lead them on.
If she:- has children- doesn't like sex- is a part of a religion that goes against my morals- has severe weight issues and isn't planning on working on it (her face may be attractive but I never view an overweight body as sexually attractive)andhas what I define to be:- an annoying personality- a dishonorable character
Insecurity: if you feel that person is so worthy and you could easily lose them, it affects your relationship Lack of personality: maybe they are attractive and love you, but they don’t have self interests, why they don’t talk in the first date? Don’t they have passion or hobbies? In the long run it can result boringHigh expectations for that person: what if one day they are not what they seem? Well you could stay and love them, but some people just think that person as perfect, and if they see their “weakness” they could leave (assholes, right?)Monotony: Try something new with that person, elevate their interest, give time to each other to develop passion and growth, you wouldn’t want someone who is just with you all the time (just like I said, lack of personality)
I wouldn't. It's what I'm looking for.I feel that the reason for the rejection would not be always directly because of the rejectee, but the rejector. In a sense that some people may find you to be amazing, but if the person rejecting is emotionally unstable, afraid of infidelity or of getting hurt, or whathaveyou, they will not be able to commit to you.I do however hear people say if a man really loves you, none of that stuff will matter and he will chase you regardless of his fears and inhibitions.So I am as lost as you are of the answer to this question.
If our interests and or beliefs are different. For example, loves books but hates movies or is an atheist with someone that is christian or someone that loves the outdoors vs someone that wants to stay indoors or someone that loves art with someone that prefers more causal interests like rock music for example. Some one could also choose to live a new age lifestyle while someone lives a reckless lifestyle of doing anything they want.
If I simply wasn't intimately interested in them. But I would hope I would be attracted to her in that way as I don't see myself having the opportunity to meet a pretty girl who is also treats me well.I'd probably say yes simply for lonliness sake and stability.
Maybe he/she isn’t really attractive but they just think they are. Maybe he treats me well but treats everyone else like trash and I don’t like that. Maybe he’s has no job and have no life goals. Maybe I find them incredibly boring. There’s a lot of reasons.
If you're asking me personally then it's because I hate myself, and I don't think I deserve a relationship. I would guess the conventional answer is that some people are not emotionally ready to settle down yet or are fresh out of other relationships.
I guess distance and major differences in point of view. For example, if he is a homophobic, very religious, different political stands, etc.Other then that, there is no other reason.
There are too many possible reasons to list...Maybe she seems stupid.Maybe even if she treats me well, I might witness her treating others like garbage.Maybe I think we have different goals for a relationship (ie., maybe she doesn't ever want children).Maybe she seems fake and I don't trust her.
This is a personal self worth dilema. Imagine you feel unattractive and a super attractive individual asks you out. wouldn't that be scary? You might start questioning whether you are worth it to them, when they could easily find someone more attractive than you ( in your opinion ). When stuff like this happens it can be overwhelming and you run or flee.
One doesn't need to be attracted to an attractive person. We all have reasons. I've ignored people because I saw no desire in them to grow beyond high school, or I was busy working on a project for work or school that soaked up all my time. Sometimes a person is so unhappy that they refuse to date anyone in the area. I was that person for a number of years. Again, there's always a reason.
It just depends , I’m going to give you a example. This guy was my best friend all highschool he was the male version of me & super funny , attractive & romantic, we went out multiple times and I wasn’t able to love him even thought I tried so hard... it sucks but sometimes that’s how it is even if they treat you well or they are attractive
How does that even make sense
Personality clash. Different values. Sexual differences. Those are big, rational reasons. If those don't line up as well, doesn't matter how nice they are. It won't work.
Maybe the person feels the two of you just don't click as far as personality goes. Also, what one person finds attractive may be different from what another one might.
I loose attraction for a women, if she is too materlistic, addicted, bad habits, , she's mean , not open minded or hearted, not emotionally, physically supportive. if she is openly freeing to others while in realtationship. Other than these ideals, she is free to do as she wishes.
My reasoning would be just not ready because of personal things in life. For me right now it’s trying to find a job I’ll enjoy because my current job mentally drains me and is stressful. I don’t want to bring that into a new relationship.
I have a lot of friends that are girls that are beautiful. ,, and that treat me really good,,, that i won't hang with just because of what they say and how they treat other people
What the fuck? Isn't that what we all want? So why would we reject that? You are trolling, right?
If I wasn't ready for a relationship.Years ago, I rejected a guy I got on really well with. He treated me really good and I liked him a lot. But the timing was wrong. I was still healing from the past, and I knew I couldn't make him happy when I was still dealing with past issue. So sometimes the person is right, but the timing is wrong.
Most of the time it's because that's all they have to offer. They can treat you well but there is no depth. No characteristics.
we don't have chemistry or much in common, or i'm not interested romantically? i don't have to date people just because they're pretty and nice
You mean 'why'? Not 'what'? Sometimes they just don't. Sometimes love is just not enough. You're really new at all this aren't you? Where ya been all your life? LOL
One reason would be narcissism. Maybe she isn't as attractive or treats him as well as she thinks she does. That's what i see most often in those situations.
You should ask my my recent ex that. To answer your question, infidelity, different ideas about raising children snd different lifestyles would be the likely reasons for me.
it would be a case by case basis. The girl is welcome to ask, if she's prepared for the honest answer.
If they are attractive and treat you good, then what’s the problem?The only thing i can come up with is if they treat other people horribly, now that might be a dealbreaker.
I just don't see everyone the same way that they might see me, they might see a potential partner while I might just see someone fun to hang out with on weekends.
Not giving me my space, always wanting me to spend money on them, drive then everywhere, etc. . I don't care how attractive you are, I'm not wasting my time and resources gained from hardwork throughout my life simply for a woman.
I was with a girls, 15 years younger, nice looking sexy, sex was fantastic... Ii broke up with her. For a long term relation or mariage, there is much more than look and sex. Share interest share goal. Etc
distance, or age gap, as in the illegal kind, bc it kinda happened to me as i fell for this guy etc but he insisted to leave it till a few years when i'm older, to which he'll have forgotten about me :(
He could be handsome and treat me well but if he acted differently towards other people I'd reject it. It's a red flag
If she was attractive, and treated me well but got aids from her friend's bachelorette stripper, that's no good.
Maybe you just dont love them, sure they treat you well, but if you dont love them then you can't stick around.
Personality. Many people don't necessarily treat someone badly, but that and good lookd are just not enough. People are attracted to personalities and if he thinks yours is not a personality to fall in love with, then that's just how it is.
If she's a feminazi or another form of liberal sjw filth. I'd probably play with her a bit before, to enhance her suffering. Not vengeance, punishment :)
Hè doesn't generate sexual tension and is predictable and doesn't trigger emotions
You cannot be compatible somewhere in the relationship. Or maybe culture shock is the reason - this one counts for international relationships.
Being attracted to someone and someone being attractive is not equal for me. It’s about how the person carry’s herself, acts, speaks up etc. Sometimes I do find cuter faces attractive rather than the ones with the golden ratio. It fully depends on my perspective. On the other hand, it’s also about the personality. I do have some criteria when it comes to personality and when it doesn’t match, it doesn’t matter how attractive the opponent is, I would not buy in wholeheartedly.
They don’t treat others well, it’s a sign of their true colors,
Its not that its not easy to meet someone, opposite sex, its not easy to meet someone who is not sleasy.. Something so far wrong, we normal people worry we might not find our mates.. Sluts everywhere...👎
Multiple children 1 child is my limit for dating a single mother, she could have bad habits or stink
No real chemistry being the main one, they might do things that are dealbreakers for you
If she has a winner‘s personality, I won‘t reject her.
Describe winners personality
If she spent her teens and 20s having sex with multiple guys.I might not reject her, but I definitely won't commit to her.
If I do not have feelings for the man it just isn't happening.
Them not being virgin. I believe in sabing myself for a special someone and if my potential wife doesn't then she's not worth marrying no matter how nice or attractive she is.
I wouldn't reject anyone at my stage unless they were horrible people.
I don't know. Maybe it could be a trap, even though I like to be treated nice.
If there's no chemistry it won't work no matter how nice they are.
Just talk to them properly about how I feel, the heart cannot be forced
Usually it was just because I was already in a monogamous committed relationship. So many missed opportunities lol, I should have gotten into poly sooner.
If you’re in a monogamous relationship you shouldn’t be sorry for the “missed opportunities” cuz cmon, if you are with your partner is because you respect them and love them, not have to look for other people, that’s sad
Or you could just live without trying to own other people. Human suffering is very often due to unhealthy attachment. My primary relationship is doing great and she's free to have fun too.It's not a love or respect issue to enjoy meeting new people. It just took us a while to realize we both wanted to have this lifestyle because it's not the norm, and we we're both afraid to discuss it with eachother. That and traditionalists like you try to shame us sometimes.It doesn't have to be a lifestyle for you, but please drop the 'your just a creep' routine, because I am actually a very kind and loving person.
Sorry, I thought about it as “I can’t stop hurting my partner because I can’t control myself” sorta thing, but that’s great if you found out someone to have an open relationship, but some people prefer monogamous, and it’s not about “suffering”. With my boyfriend I’m happy and it’s not an unhealthy attachment, but it really depends people choice and perspective, sorry if I offended you
No worries, stick with whatever makes you happy. I feel like safe and simple monogamy is the baseline for a good reason.
Lack of common interests. Intellectual or sexual incompatibility.
i wouldn't, only retrds wd do tht, lotta retrds here
like jesus christ, how much more cocky and picky can u be?she is hot and treats u well, yet she still isn't good enuff for u? wow... greedy..dont u know ur not so good urself? ur probably only average yet u want more than a perfect partner... wtf... jus be happy u have someone whos hot and treats u well u ungratefull shit
i mean i could see how someone treats you well but still doesn't fit you and your lifestyle at all. or is still sexually incompatible.
Just because someone is attractive or treats you well doesn't necessarily mean they meet the other person's needs in a relationship
Sometimes people can be perfectly compatible in a platonic way yet not match up quite so well romantically
Different values and worldviews. I had a girlfriend who fit "the attractive and treated me well" part, but she also deep into New Age weirdness.
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