How to stop things with someone without hurting them?

So I'm getting the runaround emotionally from a person I've been texting and gone out with some. One day she acts like she cares deeply the next day she sees us as just friends although all the time professing she wants more just needs time. I'm tired of playing the boyfriend role without being the boyfriend. I really would like to develop a deep relationship with this person but every time I try to move forward she shoots me down with maybe lets wait a little bit longer. She has had a bad relationship experience in the past and I don't want to hurt her which I think she would feel me saying outright I think we should stop texting/talking until you figure out where you want to be. What's the best way of saying that without hurting?


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What Girls Said 2

  • I don't think that's what needs to happen. she's obviously confused and you're taking things too fast for her. slow down. maybe go out on innocent dates, walks, talk more, whatever don't try to makeout with her constantly maybe a peck on the cheek/lips and a long hug. I'm sure she wants a relationship and once you guys know each other better on a basic level she'll be more comfortable with you and ready to open up

    • We've been talking texting almost every day since October of last year around 6 months. we've gone on innocent dates and the most physical I ever got was putting my arm around her at a movie and then I asked her before I did that. We've talked about everything just about. Like I said our conversations last hours and go into greater depths than average conversations so thus the boyfriend without being a boyfriend.

  • Have you considered just pulling back a little. Maybe limiting the texts and times you see her and see what happens...

    I had a guy ask me about being exclusive and while I think its a worthy topic in the future, I felt like he jumped the gun a bit (haven't know each other or seen each other much at all), but he's pulled back a little since then and it is driving me crazy...

    • I guess that's what I'm asking is what is the best way to pull back without hurting her feelings.

    • Okay, I think I would try to veer away from cutting communication as your first tool. I would consider at least attempting to talk to her outright about it first. If that doesn't help the situation then pull back, maybe cut it to half slowly and see if she notices. She could do a number of things from there 1) go with the flow and end up pulling back as well=it wasn't meant to be, 2) make up for you pulling back by pushing

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