What is harder: rejection or regret?

[westwordbound]

The old saying the only worse thing than failure is regret.

As a man I learned a long time ago that “as a guy you have to try”. I have been rejected at least 50 to 100 times in my life. This ranges from a woman just not texting/calling me back (yes girls ghosting is very rude rejection) up to being in an intimate relationship and having the girl lose interest.

It all stings and I grow callous. But even scar tissue can still hurt if you poke it with a needle. And I have collected a lot of scars now.

I can take rejection. Every man on this planet is virtually a salesman when he approaches women for dating. Some are more persuasive, others have better products and services to offer. Some might not even that great of a resume, but they so happen to fit what the girl is looking for. Some are just intriguing even if they jack to offer.

I will tell you the worse rejection is the long term friend zone. The analogy is you are the salesman who goes through all the effort of doing the approach, presentation, phone calls, emails, answering hard questions, follow ups, maintenance to make yourself look good, spending money on your presentation materials, spending money on dinners, favors for your potential customer, attentive responses, sometimes tolerating a bad attitude, etc.

At the end of the day the girl literally tells you she likes all the song and dance, wants you to CONTINUE all the song and dance but does NOT want to buy your product/service and in some extremely shitty cases complains about the product she bought from another salesman that did a real half ass job. She never gave you a solid yes or no with your sales proposal but just gave hints to keep you working on a meaningless task that depleted you of your effort, time, money and self esteem/self worth.

THAT kind of rejection can make a salesman want to quit his job. Especially if it’s been done to him more than once.

[LesterJester]

Rejection is out of your control and decided upon by someone else for their own reasons.

Regret is usually based on the decisions you made and were your responsibility, therefore, has more of a direct impact on yourself.

Being rejected by someone else eventually fades away, you eventually deal with it and you eventually move on... Possibly even forgetting all about it as the years go by.

But your regrets stick with you for much longer, you dwell on them for much longer and some regrets will be with you for the rest of your life.

Rejection from someone else is easier to deal with, because you can cut them out of your life and move on eventually... But you're stuck with yourself, you can't escape yourself and therefore, trying to forgive yourself for your decisions and actions is the only real way of removing those regrets from your life. That's not easy to do since we are usually our own worse critics.

Though they don't rule my life, I can still recall several regrets I have from back in my high school days and also some in my 20s. Though I know they made me into who I am today and I learned from those experiences, it doesn't exactly make those regrets go away.

For those who rejected me in the past?

I couldn't give a rats ass.

[aWes0MeNeSs]

Though I've been through some crushing rejections that left me down for a long time, I'm glad I at least worked up the courage to ask in the first place. Now, I know that I at least tried and will never wonder if I may have missed my shot. You'll never know if you don't try, and there's no shame in being rejected, we all go through it and a decent person will be flattered you thought so much of them and not angry or disgusted with you (if they are, they took the trash out for you and you dodged a bullet; they were not a quality person in the first place).

Yes, the feeling of rejection absolutely sucks and literally feels crushing at the time, however, I find that I've become stronger and therefore gotten a boost of confidence out of the deal, and it's always worked out for the best in the end and I was later glad I was rejected.

[angelgirl7]

Regret is worse.
A few years ago my friend confessed their feelings to me and I didn't feel the same way. But I was glad that they told me. I wouldn't want them to feel like they had to hold that in.
On the other hand, I had feelings for a guy and I never told him. I regret that. It's been years since we last spoke but I still wonder everyday "what if."
If you have the courage to tell someone how you feel, you should go for it. You never know what could happen. And if you get rejected, you move on. It's much easier to move on when you be gotten an answer then to be left wondering what could have been.

[MrOracle]

Rejection may hurt more in the moment, but it quickly passes. Regret sticks around for a long time.

[Pinay_ako]

regret... You never know until you try... So how do you know you'll get a yes or a no if you never asked?

[Can_I_Get_a_Do-Over]

When you get older, you will always regret what you didn’t do, not what you did.

Always try. If you don’t try, you don’t know. You will always wonder. Always regret.

Rejection will help you grow even tho it can be painful. Rejection will help you see patterns, make self-improvements, and build strength of character. Rejection can move you forward in life to a better place, even if it’s only in hindsight.

[theharlequin]

Regret, by far.

The greatest difficulty of regret is that it has no closure. You will always know things could have been different if you had only tried.

With rejection, there is the closure of ‘I tried, but it was beyond what I could change.’ That is much more comforting years later.

[Insomnia72]

Interesting question. For me, by far it's regret. I've been rejected countless times, and it hurts, but then I get over it because I tried. What hurts more is the regret that I never tried to approach a certain woman. That can kill me for years. It's best to try and fail than not try at all. She stays in my mind forever. But women I approached and failed, eventually fade into the background of my memory with little to any painful reflection.

[LoU_Hades]

I never felt something to my friends, not in that way. But I rejected some girls who had a crush on me because of my arrogance and ignorance, I regret my behavior till today. I barely remember rejections.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

"I will give credit to anyone who at least tried but failed. At least he or she had the courage to give it a shot." . . . My same exact answer to @coachTanthony's similar question 'https://www. girlsaskguys. com/dating/q3943640-is-rejection-worse-than-never-trying-at-all'

[Inv8derChris]

It's a chicken or egg question. While it's true that no one ever died from rejection; regret isn't all it's cracked up to be either. Every girl I ever hesitated on and ended up getting with later ended badly. So, is it better to have loved and lost? I doubt it. You should always take chances; but sometimes it's better the leave the past exactly where it is.

[Magicstar]

When expectations are set, and then diminished by unfullfillment of the expectation, we experience rejection, whatever the medium... work or relationship. Regrets are first a choice not to participate in an action. It is easier to adjust to a failed choice, then have rejection we did not anticipate.

[arabgoddess]

Regret is almost life long!

How's a Saudis life going in the UK? Hope you're safer there

[rockhaha]

Overtime you can get over rejection but you’ll always remember regretting not doing something. You’ll think back and be like man I really wish I would’ve done that. And soon after you’ll think about the what if‘s.

[ChewMi]

Excellent question. Very thought provoking. But you already know what the answer is. Good for you!

[sherin_v]

Rejection is something we have dealt with since we came to our senses of what's going on around us.. I'm sure it's not just love or relationship. Rejection is a part of the society we live in.
But regret is solely on you, . On your actions, your thoughts and your mind.
Better express your interests rather than sulking over it after you've missed the chance

[ChrisMike019]

I won't vote because both are hard. I had a similar problem. I wasn't rejected but our roads separated after college and I regret even today that I avoided the confrontation. And rejection is also hard if you love that girl and she doesn't give a s... t about you.

[ladsin]

Probably regret because you always wonder “what if”. If you’re rejected you’ve got a definite answer and can cope with that in time.

[Browneye57]

Just always ALL about the FEELZ. Do you ever even LOOK at what you type? You "regret avoiding confrontation"? Why do you think you need to have a confrontation? Just so much fail here. And why you're rejected.

[Jamie05rhs]

Rejection. I don't have regrets about anyone. Plenty of fish in the sea.

[This_is_my_username]

Regret is worse. At least with rejection you tried and whatever the outcome you can't say you didn't try it. Regret is never doing it and thinking about the outcome

[s2firestar]

Regret. That can chew you for years, while rejection is temporary.

Regret is inflicted upon yourself and the worst enemy you can have is your own self.

[milettescheepers]

If my ex just rejected me i would not have been regretting everything that happened and the way i left him so he can be married to someone else now