
I am asking how you would think feel and react being asked out by someone you ARE attracted to. NOT whether or not you are confident enough to ask someone out yourself.
Thank you 😊😊
BELIEVE in gender roles. Not below in gender roles.
😐🤷♀️
It was actually that mytake that inspired this post 😊
I have asked this question in various ways but it was bothering me that I was attracting all these guys who were rurally cool with it when I know - maybe not a majority- some guys have definitely very strong views against it... Also , I get tired of eating guys say all guys welcome it sweetly and it’s just women who imagine any guy would have Any issue with it.
I was hoping to reach a more Varied audience and I think there are more guys coming out if the wood work to explain they do have this aversion be it mild or severe.
I’m glad they are answering it helps put things in perspective..
Of course it does not answer why Women would be worried about a guy reacted badly bc that initiating if she WANTS to bc logically, that would just mean it’s not the guy for her. And if she prefers to be passive well then I guess they are all set.
Also an odd thing- to me- men are such experts about what rationalization women come up with to justify Not initiating... yet they have no clue that a certain percentage of their brothers actually in reality really DO dislike them even the woman initiating... like dont they ever talk to each other lol
I want for once to see a post from a guy telling guys to not freak out if a woman asks them out and respect her effort and give her a chance... rather than the upteenth post about how guys bear the burden off asking women out. Whether Complaining or praising, everyone it gets repeated it just normalizes and reinforces the stigma.
They should do my takes supporting women asking guys out instead of just complaining about guys havjng to do it.. normalize a new narrative. So women who do it fee encouraged and respected rather than not taken seriously and women who don’t can entertain the idea of doing it rather than writing it odd as not acceptable to others.
Throw some positivity out there and let it circulate
But like lol not
“ oh it is ok to ask him out he might yet be shy”
Or “it’s ok women can do it too “
Or “some guys find it hot”
Like there needs to be a special reason lol which of course makes it seem NOT normal.
Noooo... How about just plain old women ask guys out. It’s cool. normal. Be gracious. Thanks. ✅
Not little women doing big men’s work.🙄🙄.. just a. Person doing a normal thing lol
So much drama over something so simple and prescient.. its ridiculous lol 🤦♀️
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!I agree. I don’t claim people should for e themselves to accept a way of life they are uncomfortable with.. but I do Think rigidness causes wasted opportunities.
Do you ever ask out guys/girls/whomever you like, or do you wait? Just curious! We have PM before, so you can answer there, if too personal? :)
I understand.. I imagine that is How it happens with many people. You meet you click you continue.. or you don’t click and you move on 😊
If you believe gender roles are based on biology then why do you think it is ok for a woman to Persue a guy?
Thst would be to go against what is believed to be the basis for gender norms originating from biological difference between Women and men?
Both genders naturally desire love and affection. There is nothing wrong with that. Men approaching women is just a tradition. It's not a gender role.
Bye I wasn’t criticizing lol I don't know of it seemed like I was.
I was Just asking bc it initially seemed to je like you Might subconsciously think there was something wrong with her for approaching if you believe what people usually think of with gender roles.. however I realize I hadn’t asked, so I was just assuming.
And I really like the way you Put it about people naturally destroying love and affection. I agree and I think whether people Think one way or the other about roles.. that part should be easily understood.
It isn't her pursuing a guy that is against biology - quite the contrary, women are WIRED to pursue,
It is against a female nature to pursue food/prey in hunting - they tend to gather what the male (s of the group) brought and to keep it/distribute it according to (childrens' - and hunters' - needs) - and to care for any wounds/exhaustion or emotional conflicts (because sitting back at the camp they have more time to go over emotions and synchronise)
I prefer girls who are more reserved and passive. I don't generally find it appealing when women try taking the lead when it comes to things like this.
Why is it unattractive though?
I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel that way you feel how you feel.. i would just like yo understand it. 😊
I find women who initiate try to lead too much and or there is something wrong with them where if i get to know them im like ahhh i see why they are single.
I personally don't have a well articulated answer. I think my preference and attraction is more so innate or instinctual, rather than logical. It may be similar to why someone prefers the color blue over the color red, it isn't necessarily a reason for it. But perhaps I'm wrong and there is something subconscious that I haven't quite figured out, yet. If it's of any relevance, I tend to take the lead in my relationships, among other things, and perhaps that's why I prefer women who don't try to lead. But I firmly believe it's deeper than that.
Do you mind giving examples?
Also does that mean you are turned off if she takes any of these initiatives?
It's difficult to articulate. But asking someone out would be a good example. Being the one to always determine our dates/events and stuff. But there nuance here because like suggesting things isn't a turn off. I know I'm being difficult, but perhaps it's easier to just describe it as a preference for girls who tend to lean more so towards passive-ness than active-ness, if that makes any sense.
No you make it clear at the end. I understand what you mean... I Think it mAy even be more like a kind of energy than any particular act itself. And you may have noticed a tendency for certain acts to correlate with certain kinds of energy... That happen to mesh better with you and you with it.
I totally get it. 😊
yeah, i also think you did your best explaining it. People can have their preferences on deeper level than logical. Personally I think you just like to be in control. For me personally I also think Im that way thats why I even prefer asking a guy out than him asking me out. But I see no reason why i would be bother but the guy I LIKE asking me out first. I mean I like him, approaching first is just one thing. Even if I approached first I expect him to initiate things also during our time getting to know each other. I wouldn't want to be with someone who would let me initiate everything cause everyone wants to be wanted and want the other side to ut an effort too.
Seems like a valid question. Dudes want a submissive woman to come up and ask them out, then suddenly revert back to submissivity. Seems suspect to me.
@DorkVader
Thank you 😊
As far as why I’m asking, it is bc I see guys answer in completely contradictory ways and then rationalize it through biology if they are not traditional, or tradition and biology , if they are traditional
It Seems according to men it is either a biological imperative that the man Persue... Or “all guys love it”
I know I find it frustrating when women or men say all women think this way or that way... So, want to give guys an opportunity to answer for themselves instead of being lumped together.
Why is that a bad or unnecessary thing?
One more pill can’t hurt 🤷♀️😊
@DorkVader "Submissive" is your framing of the matter, its not necessarily their thoughts on the matter. And even if it did, I think you would be pathologizing it here.
@VIVANT Is a contradiction unexpected? Things are rarely uniform, even when the vast majority of guys are fine with something, you should expect exceptions, even wild exceptions with crazy ideas. Funny how the minority of exceptions are the ones with the crazy ideas. Tradition or biology or whatever else is just irrelevant. Normal dudes are telling you its perfectly fine. Better yet, why listen to the minority telling you their feel-good rationalizations about tradition and biology when you can literally just take the action yourself and find out what's real?
I don’t see why it bothers you rust I am interested to hear what people think about themselves in that situation.. I really don’t see the issue. Whether the question was ashes 5 times or a thousand
I’m interested in the answers. Anyhow it’s not the exact same as the others. There are subtle differences that help do away with certain obstacles. It takes a while to sort out how to ask something in a way that draws in More answers.
Its just a bit frustrating to see the same stuff instead of some progression in culture. Women seem to continue to be entrenched in these pitfalls and I'd like to see people overcome the mental traps they hold themselves back with.
I add all that rather than just give my answer straight because I want to put more emphasis on the answer.
Thank you for taking the time to explain.. I am not saying you should or shouldn’t feel as you do. It is how you see things, so this isn’t criticism or anything And I agree with you, you should not be with people who don’t share your views. That is healthy to recognize..
I’m just wondering, how much stricter about gender roles can a person get than submission. I don’t see what else is left 🤷♀️
Maybe you can elaborate a bit? 😊
Heh, interesting you would say that since I tend to get kind of shy myself, it's not the only reason I like a woman to ask me out, but it might be a small part of the reason in addition to me just liking women like that.😊
Being genuine is very important for developing a true, heartfelt relationship, otherwise, it won't lead anywhere good.
That is true, unfortunately, it seems a lot of people these days tend to wear masks as opposed to being honest and genuine about who they are, often with ulterior motives.
But people who are genuine are like treasure.
It really is. If you like me then say something. You telling me you said hi once or invited me to a party, something a lot of people do, was an indicator of your feelings.
Exactly. My first high school crush was very forward and made me way too nervous. I was 14. I didn't know her because I had no friends, so what I knew I learned afterwards, but she was pretty popular and had a lot of boyfriends. She noticed me, an loner with no friends, and tried to seduce me every chance she got.
This post isn’t asking How guys feel. It is asking individual guys, how they Individually feel. 😊
If it's a friendly date, a date with interest (as in looking for a boyfriend) or "date" (as I "I wanna fuck his brains out")
I try to base my guesses off of certain body language, their eyes, topics of conversation as well as the setting of where they want to meet, as well as what they want to do on said date.
And it would affect my answer based on what their motives are, that is if I've guessed correctly.
I dont just hop in bed with any woman, I'd prefer the "getting to know you game" before doing that. If I can tell it's a date with interest. I'd always say yes just to see where it leads if it has the possibility of working out for both of us (unless I'm exclusive with someone).
If it's a friendly date, then maybe I'd do it depending on her personality, new friends are always a good thing.
But then again I'm pretty dumb sometimes because women have thousands of body language signs whereas men only a few, so I can misread quite a bit sometimes 😂.
For starters it makes a difference on how and why. For example if a girl does it in a feminine manner, but decided to not miss out the opportunity it obviously is a completely different situation than a rather butch, promiscuous girl being like "hey babe, wanna shaq".
Sure but thst would be unattractive
And this is a scenario where it is a woman you are attracted to 😊
Because, one, I'm the world's least talkative person so I'd think about everything that would go wrong, and two, getting emotionally close to and vulnerable with someone makes me really uncomfortable and defensive.
I totally understand that.
Do you think you would end up saying no?
Or say yes but dread it?
Or something else?
It'd probably depend on how I feel about the girl. If I really like her, then I'd probably say yes and figure it out as I go along. Otherwise, I'd probably find a way to weasel my way out of it.
Well, I'm not really sure the type of women I'd be really attracted to would be the type to ask me out. But, hypothetically, if she did, I'd probably agree and then think to myself "what the hell did you just get yourself into?"
No it really isn’t. Well not to me. I would this ask someone out to try to dominate I just do it bc iys a rational thing you do if you like someone and you want to know if they are infested in getting to know you.
But I’m sure there are women who enjoy the game😊
Lol he’s hugging his monkey BFF... takes it everywhere with him.
I don’t think women are dogs snd men are monkeys.. just thought it looked cute and it’s ❤️ 😁😊
I voted B, in the sense I don't mind being the hunter/the stronger one while she is the gatherer/the weaker one.
It is by no means a preference, just acceptance of a woman's inability to focus for a long time or exert strength (mental or physical) (while she is better at being organised with little things and instinctively more attuned to caring/noticing other's needs)
@soleil2666
-You realize 75% of the diet came from the food that was gathered Digestive system would break down living in a diet of strictly meat. Vital vitamins and minerals found in grains and berries would be lost causing life threatening illness, Animal are not available all year round. You can’t store the meat for long.
- Gathering included life sustaining and saving and extending medicinal roots and herbs... the gatherers were also the drs.
- It is not as if there was no threat while gathering. Gatherers would need to be equity at self defense.
- Hunting was seasonal.
- There is no reason to assume Women do not hunt.
-Concentration.. .. You are just pulling that out of good nose.
~~~None of that has anything to do with what he said. He didn’t say you can't Or should not have have your beliefs.. it’s just that it IS admittedly a peculiar combination, to believe in gender risks and at the same time overlook a very prominent role as insignificant. You are allowed, it’s your prerogative.. it’s just striking that’s all.
@vivant
I don't really get who you are arguing with and over what? I know for a very clear fact I can go on for waaay longer without food and without stress and needing someone to encourage me than any woman I have ever met - like 10x longer on a bad day, and probably a 100x longer on a good one/when I am feeling particularly rested and ready to focus.
Hunting's substantially more difficult then gathering - and fur to warm up doesn't get gathered, you have to catch a running animal likely faster or more dangerous/deadly than you are. And to make spears and the rest of the tooling.
It's very typical of a woman to think only about food - then when the wolves visit if there's no spears and male strength/preparedness to defend you, you're food, honey.
I really don't understand how any of it is not obvious to women (like it is to me I don't want to see or hug a guy when I get back to my camp, but a woman - 10-100x more cuddly and gentle). I'm totally fine with that, that both sexes are of equal (personal and social) value - but women for some reason ALWAYS want to prove they are more valuable (and hence privileged).
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